nakedpianoplayer said:

I G N O R E them! U know your worth, so who gives 2 shakes of a rat's ass what they say as long as youre doing what u should do to take care of yourself!!

applekisses said:

Im sure she doesnt. This thread wasnt an attack on anyone. I didnt make anyone click on and participate. This is merely an exchange of ideas. If anyone feels offended by my comments, I cant take any responsibility for that.

dreamfactory313 said:

Hey I'm just happy to be debating something else besides Prince for once

BTW I just bought a novel by Ian Smith called "the blackbird papers"

dreamfactory313 said:

but it IS the topic....

1 the whole thing was about whether or not a TV show promotes an unhealthy life style or, if it was a great thing for the bigger girls to be able to finally feel accepted enough to participate in something like that.

2 then comes the idea that big people are stupid, and cant figure out they are big, so we as a society should tell them before they kill themselves, you know, all in the name of health.

3 then it was the topic that people who approach people about their weight have NO IDEA how hurtful and mean that is...

dreamfactory313 said:

so if you're not doing what you should to take care of yourself, then you deserve to be put down, is that what you're saying? Just asking, not trying to be confrontational.

dreamfactory313 said:

Hey I'm just happy to be debating something else besides Prince for once

BTW I just bought a novel by Ian Smith called "the blackbird papers"

You rob yourself of your own oppurtunities when you are always thinking about someone elses opinion. Most times, while u are all angry and bitter because of what they did or said about u, they are sleeping soundly and u end up paying the price. Keep yourself focused on what is important for u and your health and dismiss the people and ideas that igg you. Knowing your value and self worth will dictate the choices that u make. The deal is, only u know who u are.

dreamfactory313 said:

gosh you really inspire me. Do i have your permission to copy and print out your statement and put up on my wall in my cubicle at work??? Please...???

missfee said:

Feel free.

Does a beauty pageant with women with their ribs sticking out promote anorexia?

meow85 said:

bacdafucup

.....its just the folks like the ones i used to go to school with that picked on anyone they could for any damn reason they could....quote]


Hon, the only kids who don't get goofed on in high school are the super-jocks and the cheerleaders. Everyone else is fair game. It was no picnic for shy black boys like me who got good grades, could actually speak English, stayed out of trouble, but weren't "hip" and had no rap with the ladies. Being called "white" and "fa---t" was no fun, but you deal with it. I look at where I am now, and where some of those losers are, and I say to myself, "Every dawg has his day". You do the same.

CreamyThighs said:

Awesome!! Im going to pick up the book too and maybe we can read along together and discuss it here on the Org.

CreamyThighs said:

C'mon! U know that I didnt say that. If u arent taking care of yourself then u have to exist in that reality. It doesnt have anything to do with being put down.

No I don't think she is promoting obesity. I think she is promoting encouragement and empowering yourself to get past your low self-esteem and take steps to raise it. There's nothing worst than self-esteem, its a demon that most people deal with everyday, fat or skinny. I like Mo'nique, she is so super confident in herself which makes her so attractive. I also read her book about "skinny women are evil" when she talks about her long journey to overcoming her own issues with self-esteem and she has come a long way. I think she is the only one in her family who is big and she had to deal with that.

A confident woman is a powerful woman. Men love confident women whether they are fat or skinny. In fact i've seen a confident big girl take a guy from a skinny girl who just talked about her weight obsessively (not that i condone that kind of behavior)..you know the type "i went to the gym 5 times last week and I only eat salads and they ask their boyfriends if "they look fat" in this and that one billion times. They also love to point out other women (who are most likely with their boyfriends) and say stupid stuff like "oh my god look at how big she is, wonder why he is with her?" or "damn she is way too skinny, girlfriend needs to stop starving herself, I wish I could talk to her to give her some tips". It just seems that society just wants to say that big women don't get men because they are fat and unattractive and that is far from the truth.
[Edited 8/8/05 18:17pm]

dreamfactory313 said:

but it IS the topic....

the whole thing was about whether or not a TV show promotes an unhealthy life style or, if it was a great thing for the bigger girls to be able to finally feel accepted enough to participate in something like that.

then comes the idea that big people are stupid, and cant figure out they are big, so we as a society should tell them before they kill themselves, you know, all in the name of health.

then it was the topic that people who approach people about their weight have NO IDEA how hurtful and mean that is...

I agree with this ...sorta. Queen latifah works out and yet is a bigger woman so we can't assume that bigger aren't active. I don't like Monique's banter about big is better and all of that but I think its also bs that we all can be a size 2. I remember being in college and getting down to a size 7/8 and I swear ppl thought I had an eating disorder. My mother was worried. But if I said to someone, I look really fly at a size 10, just by going by the size, many ppl would say that was a large size.

Many of don't even realize that plus size models are sizes 10 and up.....

there needs to be a balance....

Rhondab said:

alright...this may be too much info for folks but i feel the need to share...

i am 6ft tall...weigh 176 lbs, wear a size 14 and am considered by health professionals to be overweight/obese (my BMI is 30). i work out 5 days a week and am constantly running the streets (not literally but after my son and running errards, etc). all my life i have struggled with my weight. by the time i graduated high school i was 211 lbs and hated myself. i worked very hard to lose weight and finally reached my goal of 180 lbs. i met a man and we moved in together...for the first 6 months everything seemed great...then the emotional abuse started. to make a long(er) story short(er) he destroyed the flimsy facade of self confidence i had and i developped an eating disorder....i shrunk to 137lbs on my 6ft frame (size 9) and was begged by my family and my physician to gain weight. i still saw the fat girl in the mirror. with his berating and my lingering feelings of self doubt from growing up, it was easy for me to hurt myself with food deprivation. it took many years of counselling and learning to love myself for the inside not the outside to get to where i am today. honestly i don't care what the health professionals say...even at my current weight i am the healthiest i have ever been. would i like to lose a few pounds??? sure. will i kill myself to do it again??? hell no.
muscle weighs more than fat so i try not to pay attention to the scale. i feel fit...my clothes fit better...i watch what i eat (most of the time)...and i look good. the most important difference from the old me to now?? i accept myself for who i am and i love me.

gemini13 said:

Are YOU?

:

2. being of bigger size does NOT mean that you

are lazy

i want to know how you think you know what my life is and how i spend my days ??? what gives you the right to judge me ??? we do not know each other, we do not hang out together, we are not even friends, i have never once even spoke to you on this website

it is disturbing and sickening that you feel you can talk to me like this....

heres the deal, you are entitled to have any views on this subject you want to have, but you are NOT entitled to attack me personally behind them.... please dont believe that the life of a single mother with two children is one that makes it possible to sit on the couch and eat fried chicken all day. i guess until you know what i spend my day doing, and how i live my life i will respectfully ask that you shut your mouth.


carry on...

nakedpianoplayer said:

What the hell are you talking about? Look girlie, don't you EVER tell me where I can post and to whom I can post. Ya' got that?! HOW DARE YOU think that you will shut me up at all. And what does being a single mother have to do with anything? That wasn't an attack. That was the TRUTH. But I see you're one of THOSE people who can't accept responsibility for themselves.

Carry on indeed.

lillith said:

dreamfactory313 said:

Hey I'm just happy to be debating something else besides Prince for once

BTW I just bought a novel by Ian Smith called "the blackbird papers"

Rhondab said:

alright...this may be too much info for folks but i feel the need to share...

i am 6ft tall...weigh 176 lbs, wear a size 14 and am considered by health professionals to be overweight/obese (my BMI is 30). i work out 5 days a week and am constantly running the streets (not literally but after my son and running errards, etc). all my life i have struggled with my weight. by the time i graduated high school i was 211 lbs and hated myself. i worked very hard to lose weight and finally reached my goal of 180 lbs. i met a man and we moved in together...for the first 6 months everything seemed great...then the emotional abuse started. to make a long(er) story short(er) he destroyed the flimsy facade of self confidence i had and i developped an eating disorder....i shrunk to 137lbs on my 6ft frame (size 9) and was begged by my family and my physician to gain weight. i still saw the fat girl in the mirror. with his berating and my lingering feelings of self doubt from growing up, it was easy for me to hurt myself with food deprivation. it took many years of counselling and learning to love myself for the inside not the outside to get to where i am today. honestly i don't care what the health professionals say...even at my current weight i am the healthiest i have ever been. would i like to lose a few pounds??? sure. will i kill myself to do it again??? hell no.
muscle weighs more than fat so i try not to pay attention to the scale. i feel fit...my clothes fit better...i watch what i eat (most of the time)...and i look good. the most important difference from the old me to now?? i accept myself for who i am and i love me.

i wear a size 14 also!!!

GeminiMoon said:

you can bacdafucup also

applekisses said:

Why are you so fucking defensive? I asked you a simple question. I'm about 20 pounds over my ideal weight.

Being a slightly overweight person for most of my life, I feel I have a right to say what I think about being fat since I have experienced it. I am just being HONEST about it. I won't sit there and say, "Yeah, pollyanna, we're just meant to be this way. God made us this way. Hooray for the fat girls, etc...."

The real issue is that I eat fast food more than I should, I don't get up off of my ass and exercise. I could get fit and feel better, instead of accepting what is akin to a prison sentence, worrying about what size I am, and also becoming defensive as hell when I'm confronted with a simple question.

I just wanted to update ya'll on something.

I'm a 10 lbs over what I would consider to be my ideal weight, but am still within my normal weight range according to the doctor. Well, I work-out and watch my diet as I previously discussed in another post in this thread, but the last few visits to the doctor, my blood pressure has been what is considered prehypertensive or moderate. Well, I've been under a lot of stress, and kept thinking that if I just did this or that as far as exercise and diet, then things would get better. Well, they didn't so the doctor suggested that I start taking blood pressure medication. I'm gonna go back in three weeks to be evaluated, then I'm gonna talk to her again to see that if I lost just these 10 lbs that I didn't have before,then maybe I could try to stop the meds. I mentioned the weight issue to her,but she doesn't think I need to lose weight. But I've read that extra weight does have an affect on blood pressure. I'm only 35... and I don't want to take this med for the rest of my life: I want to deal with the cause of the problem if I can, but I'm not sure it's gonna be possible.

Anyway, look at me now, I'm thinnish and otherwise in excellent shape and health, but I still have developed blood pressure problems. So the moral to this story is sometimes a person just has to fight genetics in one way or another coz my dad and mom both had blood pressure problems. The weight issue thing is kinda a fight against genetics, too, for some people, and being a size 8 doesn't necessarily guarantee good health.
Of course, I'm not suggesting that people who are seriously overweight ignore the problem just like I can't ignore this blood pressure thing, coz all studies indicate that obesity can be linked to many serious and fatal conditions. But at the same time, just coz a person isn't thin by "Hollywood" standards doesn't make him/her unhealthy.
[Edited 8/14/05 12:40pm]