some things have been on my mind after reading this...

1. DNA does play a part in this.

2. being of bigger size does NOT mean that you are lazy, stupid, or any of the other crazy ideas that float around in society.

3. just because you are bigger than some chart says you should be does NOT mean that you are going to die from heart disease or anything else weight related, its just like smoking, sure its not good for you.. and it has killed others, however, just because you smoke does not mean that you are going to die of lung cancer

4. nero... honey... get over yourself.

dreamfactory313 said:

So true. The body is like a machine - if you don't maintain it, it'll break down. I'm watching ET right now, and they're doing a story about a woman so obese, she needs a motorized wheelchair to get around. How can anyone think that's ok?

uPtoWnNY said:

So true. The body is like a machine - if you don't maintain it, it'll break down. I'm watching ET right now, and they're doing a story about a woman so obese, she needs a motorized wheelchair to get around. How can anyone think that's ok?[/quote]

I don't think that you are getting the point. Let me just tell you. In my house, I got shit for being thick...never fat, because I was athletic. But regardless, I was not a blonde blue eyed size 6 beauty. I grew up in whitebread america and my body type wasnt accepted. So...here come the crash diets, bullemia, slim fast, you name it. From age 12 to 18. To finally have the freedom to say fuck it, this is me and I'm gonna work it out with what I have took a lot of time. I am still struggling with the notion that I don't have to define my self worth through weight. A show like this that accepts us wouldn't encourage me to go binge, it'd show me that I'm cool with how I look. And please....I'm never short or hard pressed for a date.

I have a lot of respect for Mo'Nique. She says that coming up, her father told her she was the most beautiful thing on earth. Most children don't get that priviledge. I know I didn't. You are missing the point. Just because I'm going to accept my flaws doesn't mean I'm going to take myself further down a road to more weight gain. Check the posts, I'm running another 13 miles. Does that mean because I embrace my size and try my best to be healthy I'm encouraging a dangerous lifestyle? Really folks, unless you been there you cannot understand. If you are naturally blessed with a healthy attitude then you cannot understand.

"It's a fat thing, you wouldn't understand!"

applekisses said:

Are you overweight?

dreamfactory313 said:

Dream factory, you have a great healthy outlook. But have you ever struggled with weight or food? I know that you are the man when it comes to weight, but in all fairness you cannot see it through differing perspectives.

My favorite aerobic instructor at the gym is 180 and 5'5". She is tough! Although she's kinda thick, she can still kick even the littlests girl's ass in the class. Her class is fully maxed because of her tough reputation. Obviously she has to struggle with her weight too.

Of course we must all be healthy and it is not cause to give one a ticket to ride, but people of your nature will not be able to understand the other side...period.

Side note.. I think it's unfair for those who don't struggle to group those that do in one category and assume that we are unhealthy.

nakedpianoplayer said:[quote]:

2. being of bigger size does NOT mean that you are lazy [quote]


You are in SUCH denial about maybe your own weight problem? This is so typical of fat people who don't want to be responsible for the fact that they don't exercise enough. Exercise is the ONLY effective way to stay at a desirable weight. This DOES have an effect on longevity. If you don't know this, then you're either living in the backwoods or are a huge dipshit. Stop making excuses for people who won't stay active. I have to keep busy to stay as fit as possible. My family tends to gain weight. It is a complete lack of accountability that leads someone to believe that being overweight is ok. It is dangerously unhealthy. Please stop deluding yourself.

And Nero is only telling you the truth. If that's too hard to accept, don't blame her.

KatSkrizzle said:

I don't think that you are getting the point. Let me just tell you. In my house, I got shit for being thick...never fat, because I was athletic. But regardless, I was not a blonde blue eyed size 6 beauty. I grew up in whitebread america and my body type wasnt accepted. So...here come the crash diets, bullemia, slim fast, you name it. From age 12 to 18. To finally have the freedom to say fuck it, this is me and I'm gonna work it out with what I have took a lot of time. I am still struggling with the notion that I don't have to define my self worth through weight. A show like this that accepts us wouldn't encourage me to go binge, it'd show me that I'm cool with how I look. And please....I'm never short or hard pressed for a date.

I have a lot of respect for Mo'Nique. She says that coming up, her father told her she was the most beautiful thing on earth. Most children don't get that priviledge. I know I didn't. You are missing the point. Just because I'm going to accept my flaws doesn't mean I'm going to take myself further down a road to more weight gain. Check the posts, I'm running another 13 miles. Does that mean because I embrace my size and try my best to be healthy I'm encouraging a dangerous lifestyle? Really folks, unless you been there you cannot understand. If you are naturally blessed with a healthy attitude then you cannot understand.

"It's a fat thing, you wouldn't understand!" [/quote]


Not talking about folks who are naturally thick. Nothing wrong with that, we all have different body types. I'll take thick women like Beyonce any day.

I'm talking about folks who are lazy and eat crap 24/7(I was one of them until the light bulb went off in my head). That type of self-destructive behavior sholdn't be encouraged, especially with kids.

Calling Beyonce thick is silly. She could be thick, but busts her ass to not be that way. I'm talking Syleena Johnson thick.

Here it comes, I have to do it!

"I've got a cute face, thick waist, big legs, in shape!" Missy Elliott
That is THE anthem ladies!

meow85 said:

I could not agree with this post more. VERY well said.

People need to accept all sizes and shapes of women as beautiful and it should be done WITHOUT having to put down anyone else of another OTHER size.

I'm an "evil skinny" size 4/6, and I'm just as much real woman as those "real women" who have curves.

dreamfactory313 said:

depression and low self esteem is a disease also. And let me tell you something...you do NOT have the right to try to REFUSE fat people the right to feel good about themselves, no matter WHAT they're eating, no matter WHAT kind of exercises they are or are not doing. Because the bottom line is, until you feel good about yourself WHERE YOU ARE....you'll never change for the better. Even if a fat person NEVER changes his diet, that person STILL has the God given right to feel good about themselves...PERIOD. Who are you to judge what a person eats? All the healthy eating and exercise in the WORLD will NEVER change that persons insides until they first learn to LIKE and ACCEPT themselves AS THEY ARE...PERIOD. For TOO LONG, fat people have LISTENED to people like YOU who are basically saying that they dont deserve the right to feel good about themselves, just because they dont eat right or exercise or whatever. (That's where the depression and low self esteem comes from) Well I got a news flash for you; nobody's perfect. But even in our flaws and imperfections, we can STILL feel accepted and loved. How would you like it if someone withheld acceptance from you because of one of your many flaws?
That's what Monique's show is all about. ACCEPTING yourself as you are, no matter WHAT your size is. And I give her props for that. And FURTHERMORE...skinny doesn't always = healthy either. You look at a skinny person and assume they're healthy because they LOOK skinny, and that's bullshit.
[Edited 8/6/05 19:26pm]
[Edited 8/6/05 19:28pm]

I saw the show tonight and all I have to say is that was just too much ass to have on my tv set all at one time.

CreamyThighs said:

That was well said CreamyThighs and I totally agree with you. I'm going through this stuff right now. I gained about an extra 40 lbs in the last few years and I've been exercising. It's been tough for me to curb my appetite for food but I'm just starting to learn how to do it and it's been interesting. More than anything it's about the insides. As Creamy said, if you don't feel good about yourself, big or small, everything around you will suffer. Lack of Self-Esteem can cause you to gain weight and NO ONE tells you this. I've been learning how to grown in confidence for a few years and I'm far from finished but I still have to tell myself not to think I'm crap because of my weight and I don't even look fat. Plus my job, the military, puts a big emphasis on weight so that doesn't help me any. I say all this to tell you that you got to love you before any changes can happen and that effects everyone no matter the size.
I give props to Mo'Nique for promoting confidence to those who are overweight. No one should feel like shit for what their body looks like. By loving yourself, hopefully everyone can eat properly and if the weight falls then it falls and they can see themselves the right way. The same goes for those who are skinny and may want to gain weight. I hope I made sense through all this talk I didn't plan on doing lol.

gemini13 said:[quote]nakedpianoplayer said:[quote]:

2. being of bigger size does NOT mean that you

are lazy

i want to know how you think you know what my life is and how i spend my days ??? what gives you the right to judge me ??? we do not know each other, we do not hang out together, we are not even friends, i have never once even spoke to you on this website

it is disturbing and sickening that you feel you can talk to me like this....

heres the deal, you are entitled to have any views on this subject you want to have, but you are NOT entitled to attack me personally behind them.... please dont believe that the life of a single mother with two children is one that makes it possible to sit on the couch and eat fried chicken all day. i guess until you know what i spend my day doing, and how i live my life i will respectfully ask that you shut your mouth.


carry on...

CreamyThighs said:

This can be true but PLEASE know that some people are sincere in their concern. I have 2 morbidly obese people in my family (& many others who are fat but not obese... I guess ). I want to see them get healthy & LIVE - the diabetes/fast food lifestyle has got to stop!

I know losing weight is one of the hardest things to do but for a lot of people it's a decision & dedication to live a different life & many folks just don't wanna face that, they ain't ready. They just go on doing the same shit & making excuses, letting an inanimate object like food get in the way of their will. It becomes a spiral that (pardon the term) feeds itself (the weight, the depression, feeling bad physically & mentally, eating makes you feel better for the moment then you're right back where you started)...

I dunno, I just don't wanna see the people I love die because of too many trips to the drivethrough. And then children get brought up in this fast food culture, never even learing how to eat properly & are fucked up for life. Being a teen is hard enough - what's it like when you're obese on top of all that? For me it's not even about the look of the person on the outside but the feelings of the person on the inside that's trapped in a body & feels like they don't have a choice & just give up. A cousin of mine is like that, too young to have to deal w/ this shit. It's just fucked up man...

CalhounSq said:

Preach it, man. I have a few friends who are getting close to dangerously obese. Every time I see them, they give me the same ol' sh!t - "Yeah man, one of these days I'm going to join a gym like you and start eating better." I know they're full of it, but I nod my head anyway.

Some folks have to hit rock bottom before they "get it".

Rhondab said:

THERE LOT OF ROOM BETWEEN SIZE FOUR

AND MONIQUE SIZE

LOT OF ROOM FOR PRETTY WOMEN POOK MEAN

Q: How do you make 5 pounds of fat beautiful?
A: Slap a nipple on it.

CreamyThighs said:

Where did I say that I didnt want people to feel good about temselves? I never said that. Healthy lifestyle habits are the key to self esteem not overeating, apathy and sedentary lifestyles. Get your emotions out of it. Its not about that. Your body isnt who u are. Knowing who u are and treating yourself with respect will set yourself on the path to positive self esteem. When u respect who u are, u wont abuse your body but first u have to realize that there has to be an order here. Its not appreciating your fat body first but appreciating who YOU are first. You cant skip that step. Its important to know that its not about anyone else or society or dress sizes or any of that stuff. Its about the Value of YOU.

dreamfactory313 said:

dreamfactory313 said:

dreamfactory313 said:

Best post in this thread.

Thanx

uPtoWnNY said:

And for some rock bottom is too late - it's a stroke or a heart attack or some shit that fucks up the physical, makes exercise more difficult & further adds to the problem.

You people are still missing the point. Dreamfactory, U said leave my emotions out of it? Well guess what, obesity IS an emotional problem, as well as a physical problem. Losing weight is the key to self esteem? HOney, you could not be MORE wrong about that. First of all, I am NOT against educating people how to eat better and exercise, that is NOT what I'm saying. But I AM saying, that if all you do to combat the obesity problem in this country is to try reach people's HEADS, instead of their HEARTS...you'll miss the mark. That's why diets a lot of times, don't work. Overweight people who eat because they dont like themselves, go on diets and expect it to work, and it doesn't. AND...even if they DO lose the weight, they're going to gain it back. Why? BECAUSE THEY STILL DON'T LIKE THEMSELVES. They changed their outsides...but not their insides...and that has to start in the mind. You have to change your thinking about yourself, YOU HAVE TO LIKE YOURSELF AS YOU ARE. Once you change your thinking about yourself, start to accept yourself, begin to FORGIVE YOURSELF for all the binge eating that you've done, THEN and ONLY THEN can you gain the "respect" you keep talking about to WANT to make yourself healthier. You keep saying that fat people should respect themselves, and lose weight, but you're continually missing the point that the respect comes from WITHIN YOU, first and foremost. It comes from ACCEPTING YOURSELF as you are, flaws and all, and that includes flaws in eating. I've heard true stories of overweight people who have TAKEN THEIR OWN LIVES because of all the SHAME and self hatred and GUILT that was put on them by other people that TORMENTED them for years.
A lot of people are assuming that overweight people don't WANT to lose weight, that they just want to "stay fat" or whatever. And the truth is, you can NOT possibly know what all the overweight people in this country are thinking, so you CANNOT and SHOULD NOT accuse them of something you think THEY'RE thinking.
You can't SHAME and GUILT trip fat people into losing weight, and think that's gonna work, cuz it ISN'T.

So to answer your question, is Monique promoting obesity with her show? NO. She's promoting SELF ACCEPTANCE.
[Edited 8/7/05 16:27pm]
[Edited 8/7/05 16:29pm]

If I ate the same diet and did the same amount of physical activity of many of my skinnier friends, I would blow up like a balloon. The bottom line is I have to be much more careful about what I eat, and do additional exercise throughout the week to maintain my weight.

I get really pissed when I hear people make these broad sweeping generalizations of all overweight people, that they are lazy, unmotivated, and don't care about themselves. Many people simply have a hard time keeping their bodies at a healthy weight, in spite of their ongoing efforts.

Im amazed at how many people try to sugar coat their insults about other people's weight by citing health concerns. They can care less about someone's health and well being until they see someone put on some weight, then they want to play doctor.

We're all very much aware that diet and exercise help combat obesity. That fast food is bad. Etc. We hear about it 24 hours a day. Someone who is overweight is already aware of it, they look at themselves in the mirror each day - so there's no need to go up to them and say "hey, you're fat! you should go on a diet and exercise!".

My blood boils when I see people stand on a soapbox and make ignorant remarks towards overweight people, then pat themselves on the back as though they are curing obesity one person at a time with their tough-love comments. That's complete bullshit. All they are doing is rubbing salt in someone's wound, and more than anything, making the problem worse.

If you're really concerned about a family or friend who is overweight, chill out with the flippant remarks.

Tom said:

PREACH ON, TOM, PREACH ON!!!!!

I dropped about 50 lbs when I was a junior high school. Prior to that, I got made fun of to no end throughout gradeschool and my first few years of highschool. Funny thing is, none of the people who repeatedly called me fat ever came up to me and complemented me when I got in shape. My friends did however.

Tom said:

And do you know why they never complimented you? You already know why...cuz they didn't give a DAMN about your health, or nothing else...they thought u were an easy target cuz u were overweight..

Today, the bullies have "health concerns" they can hide behind now, giving them further justification to insult overweight people.

Tom said:

I'm not sure if my remarks are part of what you're addressing here but do tell - when is ones concern for ones health real & when is it just sugar coating? What determines that?

CreamyThighs said:

Aside from a couple of remarks, who here has said anything nasty?

Sometimes tough love CAN work, but it depends on the person. I was fat and in denial for a long time until my best friend took me aside and politely expressed her concerns. She's not afraid to tell it like it is, and I love her for it.

As I said earlier, what anyone does with their body is their business. But if a fat person sits next to me on a subway or bus(and makes me uncomfortable), I'll let him/her know it.