Discovering What You Want Through Experience


The road to knowing what you want is often paved with many moments of learning what you don't want. This holds true in all areas of life, from work to love. Knowing and accepting this can give us the courage to keep moving forward when we might otherwise paralyze ourselves with fear of making a wrong move.

All too often, we expect ourselves to know in advance what will or won't work. But this would be like accepting an invitation with a new dance partner only if we are sure, before dancing with them, that we will want to dance with them forever. We need to accept the invitation without knowing where it will lead us. When we accept the invitation, what we are committing to is exploration.

It helps to remember that choices and decisions are not permanent or final actions. They are just the first steps in an unfolding process of inquiry. Many people go to school for one thing and end up in a completely different career path. This does not mean that they made a mistake by studying English Literature and then becoming a nurse. One thing leads to another in ways we can't always foresee.

Try to remain open and curious all along the way, asking questions. How does this feel? How could it be better? What changes can be made to improve the situation? With each modification, you move closer to creating exactly what you want. But remember, sometimes we need to experience what we don't want to determine what we do want.

very wise words

remember, sometimes we need to experience what we don't want to determine what we do want.

and that in itself is key ...