Is there one thing that a person can do that bothers you so much that you'd have to tell them about themselves, no matter if it were at work or in public or at a party or at the movies or at a family reunion or wherever?

I ask because I work with an absolute troll who regularly falls asleep and snores, belches, farts, has really loud personal phone calls during which he curses at the top of his voice, eats big meals during which he smacks his lips and makes really disgusting pleasure noises, and oh - his personal phone calls usually are him talking about his prostate or his 12-step meetings, during which he basically "outs" people in his AA group to the entire office.

And I've yet to say anything. Nobody does. Everyone thinks he's "special". As in, like, "mildly retarded".

But I've heard him go off on long diatribes about theatre history and indie rock! I've heard him go on and on and on and on about classical music! The dude's a walking encyclopedia! "Special" my ass. He suffers from being a god damn TROLL, is how he's special.

But people think it's cute, so I have to keep my mouth shut. Meanwhile, my best friend and my boyfriend both collect etiquette books and I've come to believe that etiquette makes the world a damn better place.

And here I am, working with the exact opposite of etiquette.

At what point shall I snap? And how do you talk to someone like this?

I might just resign myself to his existence and start a funny blog about him or something. Ugh.

Could I just list the things that DON'T make me snap?

jerseykrs said:

do it

The yankees winning.
The sox losing.
My children, most of the time.
um, er, let me sober up a bit, i can't think of many more.

jerseykrs said:

eh, i think the things that piss you off would be a better list, especially if you're drunked.

I fucking hate when familiy members over for a barbecue stick their claws
into a big bag of nice, salty ridged potato chips
instead of tilting the bag to pour them out.


Don't be touchin' all the potato chips, Uncle Asswipe! I don't know where your hands have been

right now, my big pet peeve is people who barge into elevators, subway cars, buses, etc., without letting people get out first. that REALLY gripes my ass. it's a bald expression of lemming-like "ME!-monkey" behavior, and if i were mayor i'd make it against the law like they did with jaywalking in new york.

I hate drivers that do JUUUUUST under the speed limit.

You know, like 38 in a 40.

WTF

I hate when people talk while eating and/or chew with their mouth open.

I hate people that try to make small talk with me in the line at the store.

I told one guy once,

"I'm sorry, I don't really like people"

Anx, take one of those books and throw it at his head, like this:

jerseykrs said:

i've actually stolen jerry seinfeld's line in that situation: "i'm not really looking to make friends today, thanks."

TMPletz said:

i was actually thinking of sending him an etiquette book anonymously via interdepartmental mail, just to see if he gets the hint.

Anxiety said:

Gohi said:

now that's nasty. you should tell them that if they chew with their mouth shut, the flavor will keep longer.

How about people that say

"is it hot enough for you?"

Well actually, I'd like for you to go straight to hell sir, then I can ask you the same th9ing.

A person chewing w/their mouth open

People who don't speak back when you speak to them, how hard is it to say "hi"

People who talk in thearters

People who bring little kids to rated R movies

People who drive slow in the left lane

the list goes on and on...so I'll stop here

Oh yeah, conveneincee stores that keep their coolers not so cold to save money.

That is a toal breach of etiquette in my book.


A warm green tea blows.

i think people talking in theaters has gotten better over the past couple of years - they call more attention to it in the pre-movie service announcement bits and i think it's helping a little, at least here in chicago. plus, i think people appreciate that you don't pay ten bucks to listen to some schmoe talk about what a jerk his boss is while you're trying to watch a movie.

I hate when people try to talk to me....when I'm obviously not wanting to.....just keep talking and keep talking...


Can I just pay for my shit and leave Pleae!!!

So, what's your sign lizzy?

Lizzy7701 said:

i'm so glad i'm not the only one who gets salty about this! i'm trying to get better about it, because they're just trying to be friendly. but sometimes i just need to get my shit done and go home without turning it into a social call.

i REALLY hate when someone starts chumming around with me on the street or in a store and it turns out they want to sell me something or worse, they're just panhandling. i'll usually read those people their pedigrees.

anx, i understand what you mean. I mean, they're just being nice.

But, I justt don't have the patience.

LOL

Anxiety said:

That reminds of something else I hate: People who think they're ever-so funny and witty and feel the need to showcase this during a movie. This happened a lot when I saw Star Wars: Episode III. Loudmouths.

Gohi said:

it depends on the neighborhood. i had some great fun seeing some movies with people who talk back to the screen. try watching a midnight screening of "showgirls" in a theater full of gay people. you will get your money's worth and then some!

i also saw "willard" at a theater in the hood. that was a hoot - plus in the middle of the movie, a lady tried to set the hair of the girl in front of her on fire with a lighter. that was awesome.

jerseykrs said:

i'll read YOUR pedigree

I hate people who snort/lip-smack while eating.

I hate people who don't use napkins.

I hate people who snort snot out in public and swallow it. In fact, I don't care if they spit it out. IT's the snot-snort I fucking hate.

Anxiety said:

I actually got up and told a woman to shut her mouth during a movie once. I was much nicer than that, actually. But there were only 6 people in the theatre. Me and my friend, a random couple in the back and some loud woman and her date who were sitting in the row behind us and a few seats over. After several glares (that I made sure she caught) and quiet "shushes" and loud sighs on my part I finally got so annoyed I got up walked into her row, sat down next to her and whispered "psst, excuse me". She looked as me as if I were crazy. I asked her to please stop talking as it was runing my enjoyment of the movie. She practically yelled at me and said, "Well whst do you think you're doing to me here?" And I said some smart retort about my point now coming across to her just fine and walked back to my seat.

I was SO MAD!

CarrieMpls said:

oooh, she was not only rude, but she felt ENTITLED to her rudeness. there's a special place in hell reserved for those people, don't worry.

Bukkake.