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Tom Cruise Endorses Cow Revolution! As if we needed further proof that the Cow Revolution was the work of Satan himself:
Associated press Actor Tom cruise has thrown his support behind the Cow Revolution, led by the extremist organization known as CUDDD. "Cows, man....they, I gotta tell you, they...you see, they are just bovines, y'know", said a typically incoherent Cruise, "they are amazing the way they smell. I just...look, I'm gonna tell you here, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, they are wild, man! Did I mention I love Katie? I love this woman, and we're gonna live on a Scientology farm with all of these Cow Scientologists! Most cows are Scientologists, did you know that?" Cruise went on to state some more ramblings that made little sense: "You don't know the history of cows, I do. There are vitamins that they can take that will make them actually give Ice Cream instead of milk! You didn't know that, because you haven't done the research, I have. You're so glib, and you don't realize that cows are...they, HAHAHAHAHAHA! I LOVE KATIE!!!!!" Cruise wants us to tell you that War of the Worlds is in theaters now. [Edited 7/19/05 7:48am] 
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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 Go Tommy Cruise 
"..My work is personal, I'm a working person, I put in work, I work with purpose.." | |
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Just look at the passion in his eyes  That's bovine rezpec' 
 Go Tom & the cows
"..My work is personal, I'm a working person, I put in work, I work with purpose.." | |
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senik said: Just look at the passion in his eyes That's bovine rezpec'
Go Tom & the cows
The Cow Revolution is on the brink of defeat. Soon the CUDDD members will be put out to pasture (Well, the ones we don't make into burgers, fajitas, steaks and what-not).
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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Actor Tom cruise has thrown his support behind the Org, led by the extremist organization known as Orgers United. "Orgers, man....they, I gotta tell you, they...you see, they are just fantastic, y'know", said a typically incoherent Cruise, "they are amazing the way they smell. I just...look, I'm gonna tell you here, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, they are wild, man! Did I mention I love Katie? I love this woman, and we're gonna live on a Scientology farm with all of these Orger Scientologists! Most Orgers are Scientologists, did you know that?"
Cruise went on to state some more ramblings that made little sense: "You don't know the history of Orgers, I do. There are vitamins that they can take that will make them actually give Ice Cream instead of milk! You didn't know that, because you haven't done the research, I have. You're so glib, and you don't realize that Orgers are...they, HAHAHAHAHAHA! I LOVE KATIE!!!!!" Cruise wants us to tell you that War of the Worlds is in theaters now.  | |
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JediMaster said: senik said: Just look at the passion in his eyes That's bovine rezpec'
Go Tom & the cows
The Cow Revolution is on the brink of defeat. Soon the CUDDD members will be put out to pasture (Well, the ones we don't make into burgers, fajitas, steaks and what-not). Tom would never let that happen! 
"..My work is personal, I'm a working person, I put in work, I work with purpose.." | |
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senik said: JediMaster said: The Cow Revolution is on the brink of defeat. Soon the CUDDD members will be put out to pasture (Well, the ones we don't make into burgers, fajitas, steaks and what-not). Tom would never let that happen!
Tom, while an evil Sith Lord, is unable to bolster the Cows defenses. If I were the cows, I'd be worried anyway. He and Katie like to wear cow skins! 
I'm sure that this whole thing is just part of Darth Maguire's (Tom's Sith name) evil plan to take over the world. The cows are just his pawns, and he will soon send his apprentice, Darth Joey, to do away with them!!!!
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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i'm going to steal Tom Cruise's girlfriend. 
what a cutie. and if it means i'm fighting against the cows, then so be it. | |
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Wait up JediMaster  Is Tommy bovine friendly or anti-bovine 
You have my super-duper-alphabetty-spaghetti brain all perplexed
"..My work is personal, I'm a working person, I put in work, I work with purpose.." | |
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I'm LOVING this thread! | |
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Cow, XxAxX -- Can we meet like pronto??? If this is true, it seriously compromises my role as a proud defender of the C.P.G. Please contact me at once. noituloveryxesevolasildnaydnew
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vile creatures.  | |
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Mosquito said: vile creatures.
Tommy and Katie are sweet  You're vile! YOU! YOU!! YOU!! 
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senik said: Wait up JediMaster Is Tommy bovine friendly or anti-bovine
You have my super-duper-alphabetty-spaghetti brain all perplexed
Unfortunately this is typical of JediMaster's propaganda. Making up an AP article and tying a legimate cause (cow rebellion) with that loonball Tom Cruise. Cow intelligence has come across the actual article. Cruise Becomes a Vegetarian; Credits Mysterious Internet Pal
(AP)Tom Cruise, shutting his yap about Scientology and his fiancee Katie Holmes for one second, recently told a crowd that he had gone completely vegetarian, vowing to no longer destroy precious animals to fill his multi-millionaire belly. "I just don't want to eat animals anymore, man. That's just wrong. No animals should actually be living in my mansion and driving my cars and spending my money. And cows, I just can't say enough about them. I just can't eat them because I just respect them so much. Especially their intelligence. That Cow Oracle...he is one wise cow. I just can't eat them anymore, "Tom said in a recent interview, seconds before ripping off his clothes and performing a cheerleading routine. When Cruise was pressed as to why he was swearing off Big Macs, he credited a mysterious source from the Internet. "There is this guy, man, on the Internet. And I respect him so much because he has shown me the way. His name is JediMaster. He goes to this site called PrinceOrgy or something, y'know, where they talk about Prince Charles or something. And this guy, JediMaster, starts e-mailing me like 500 times a day. And at first I thought he was a stalker or something, real crass. But he kept talking about his love for cows and how he was a vegetarian and how I should be a vegan too. And I said, yeah, you know that is a really good idea. And so no meat since then," Cruise said, painting his face with clown makeup and then attempting to fellate himself. The logical follow-up question came, about his lady love Katie Holmes. "Oh no, Katie can do what she wants. But she will be a vegan. Oh yeah. Because I control her and she's under contract...I mean, we're in love, so in love. This love is so right. And if loving Katie is wrong, I don't want to be right. And I love cows too. And JediMaster. His vegan ways and love for cows has inspired me beyond words man." Mr. Cruise, after answering the question, proceeding to pop an entire container of Flintstone vitamins before setting the room on fire. Eat Mor Horses | |
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GRRRRR x bovinity
Everything is bullshit | |
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LisasBrush said: Cow, XxAxX -- Can we meet like pronto??? If this is true, it seriously compromises my role as a proud defender of the C.P.G. Please contact me at once.
i'm not sure what to tell you. i thought JediMaster was reformed but he continues to discuss revolting topics like 'steak' and 'grills' on the other Cow thread. personally i think Cow's sources are right and tom cruise has gone vegetarian. then again tom cruise is anyone's guess these days ain't he? if he ahs chosen to join forces with CUDD well, then so much the better. i think we should be open to the possibility that JediMonster raves on and on like this in an attempt to discredit the Cow revolution because he actually truly deeply wishes to become a Cow non-eater, but he's afraid to reveal his feelings because it might make him appear to be less macho than his meat-eating persona. maybe he will come around if we here at the ORG assure him that his macho self-image isn't dependent upon some childish light-sabre-wielding fantasy and that his softer side is perfectly acceptable. maybe that will work. [Edited 7/19/05 9:35am] | |
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XxAxX said: poor JediMaster. i'm sure you feel the same rush of pity for him upon reading his words. truly a disturbed, confused individual who needs our help and understanding.
I think maybe JediMaster IS Tom Cruise!!! noituloveryxesevolasildnaydnew
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LisasBrush said: XxAxX said: poor JediMaster. i'm sure you feel the same rush of pity for him upon reading his words. truly a disturbed, confused individual who needs our help and understanding.
I think maybe JediMaster IS Tom Cruise!!!  i think you're right!!!
[Edited 7/19/05 9:38am] | |
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XxAxX said: LisasBrush said: I think maybe JediMaster IS Tom Cruise!!! Makes sense, don't you think? The dots aren't that hard to connect! QUE VIVA PARA SIEMPRE EL C.P.G.! noituloveryxesevolasildnaydnew
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Cow said: senik said: Wait up JediMaster Is Tommy bovine friendly or anti-bovine
You have my super-duper-alphabetty-spaghetti brain all perplexed
Unfortunately this is typical of JediMaster's propaganda. Making up an AP article and tying a legimate cause (cow rebellion) with that loonball Tom Cruise. Cow intelligence has come across the actual article. Cruise Becomes a Vegetarian; Credits Mysterious Internet Pal
(AP)Tom Cruise, shutting his yap about Scientology and his fiancee Katie Holmes for one second, recently told a crowd that he had gone completely vegetarian, vowing to no longer destroy precious animals to fill his multi-millionaire belly. "I just don't want to eat animals anymore, man. That's just wrong. No animals should actually be living in my mansion and driving my cars and spending my money. And cows, I just can't say enough about them. I just can't eat them because I just respect them so much. Especially their intelligence. That Cow Oracle...he is one wise cow. I just can't eat them anymore, "Tom said in a recent interview, seconds before ripping off his clothes and performing a cheerleading routine. When Cruise was pressed as to why he was swearing off Big Macs, he credited a mysterious source from the Internet. "There is this guy, man, on the Internet. And I respect him so much because he has shown me the way. His name is JediMaster. He goes to this site called PrinceOrgy or something, y'know, where they talk about Prince Charles or something. And this guy, JediMaster, starts e-mailing me like 500 times a day. And at first I thought he was a stalker or something, real crass. But he kept talking about his love for cows and how he was a vegetarian and how I should be a vegan too. And I said, yeah, you know that is a really good idea. And so no meat since then," Cruise said, painting his face with clown makeup and then attempting to fellate himself. The logical follow-up question came, about his lady love Katie Holmes. "Oh no, Katie can do what she wants. But she will be a vegan. Oh yeah. Because I control her and she's under contract...I mean, we're in love, so in love. This love is so right. And if loving Katie is wrong, I don't want to be right. And I love cows too. And JediMaster. His vegan ways and love for cows has inspired me beyond words man." Mr. Cruise, after answering the question, proceeding to pop an entire container of Flintstone vitamins before setting the room on fire. Complete lies. First off, Tom's sentences aren't that coherent anymore.
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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XxAxX said: LisasBrush said: I think maybe JediMaster IS Tom Cruise!!! i think you're right!!!
Oh puh-leeeeeze!!! If you're going to claim I'm some whacko movie star, at least pick one with a little more class.
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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JediMaster said: Oh puh-leeeeeze!!! If you're going to claim I'm some whacko movie star, at least pick one with a little more class.That's TOTALLY the Matt Lauer tone! Wow. I was fooled for a looong time, Tommy. Ya done good. Now just fess up already! noituloveryxesevolasildnaydnew
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LisasBrush said: JediMaster said: Oh puh-leeeeeze!!! If you're going to claim I'm some whacko movie star, at least pick one with a little more class.That's TOTALLY the Matt Lauer tone! Wow. I was fooled for a looong time, Tommy. Ya done good. Now just fess up already! You CUDDD members are quite silly. Besides, I'm a JEDI, while Tom is a Sith Lord!
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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JediMaster said: You CUDDD members are quite silly. Besides, I'm a JEDI, while Tom is a Sith Lord!A-ha! Thou protesteth too mucheth. I'll play along, "Jedi" -- don't want a tantrum on my hands -- but just remember I've got my eye on you! noituloveryxesevolasildnaydnew
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LisasBrush said: JediMaster said: You CUDDD members are quite silly. Besides, I'm a JEDI, while Tom is a Sith Lord!A-ha! Thou protesteth too mucheth. I'll play along, "Jedi" -- don't want a tantrum on my hands -- but just remember I've got my eye on you! You've got your eye...???? Oh wait, I just figured it out!!! You're actually John Travolta!!! Pretty clever, trying to deflect attention from yourself by acting like I'm your buddy Tom!! We know that the Cow Revolution is being funded by the Church of Scientology! You can stop fronting now.
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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JediMaster said: You've got your eye...???? Oh wait, I just figured it out!!! You're actually John Travolta!!! Pretty clever, trying to deflect attention from yourself by acting like I'm your buddy Tom!!
We know that the Cow Revolution is being funded by the Church of Scientology! You can stop fronting now. WHAT??? I'm way too openly gay to be a closted Scientologist!!! You need to stop the disinformation and come clean, or the Enquirer is gonna get pics, Tom -- I mean Jedi! noituloveryxesevolasildnaydnew
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JediMaster said: LisasBrush said: A-ha! Thou protesteth too mucheth. I'll play along, "Jedi" -- don't want a tantrum on my hands -- but just remember I've got my eye on you! You've got your eye...???? Oh wait, I just figured it out!!! You're actually John Travolta!!! Pretty clever, trying to deflect attention from yourself by acting like I'm your buddy Tom!! We know that the Cow Revolution is being funded by the Church of Scientology! You can stop fronting now. The Great Cow Oracle has asked me to release the following statement: "The rumors brought about by JediMaster aka Tom Cruise aka The Vegan are categorically untrue. There are no ties between Scientology and the cow rebellion and there never will be. Wheras we will gladly take money from that or any human organization that wishes to contribute to the Revolution, we will accept no sponsorship or share any beliefs of any human organization. I mean come on, vitamins for post-partum depression. Please!"  Eat Mor Horses | |
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Cow said: JediMaster said: You've got your eye...???? Oh wait, I just figured it out!!! You're actually John Travolta!!! Pretty clever, trying to deflect attention from yourself by acting like I'm your buddy Tom!! We know that the Cow Revolution is being funded by the Church of Scientology! You can stop fronting now. The Great Cow Oracle has asked me to release the following statement: "The rumors brought about by JediMaster aka Tom Cruise aka The Vegan are categorically untrue. There are no ties between Scientology and the cow rebellion and there never will be. [b]Wheras we will gladly take money from that or any human organization that wishes to contribute to the Revolution, we will accept no sponsorship or share any beliefs of any human organization. I mean come on, vitamins for post-partum depression. Please!"[/b] the Cow has spoken! who else wants to quit their job and go door to door soliciting contributions for the Cow Rebellion? JediMaster? You in? | |
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senik said: Mosquito said: vile creatures.
Tommy and Katie are sweet You're vile! YOU! YOU!! YOU!!
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Nikki23 said: senik said: Tommy and Katie are sweet You're vile! YOU! YOU!! YOU!!
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