Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.

Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on and each of them restarted their computers.

Satan started searching frantically, screaming "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate.

"Wait! He cheated, how did he do it?"

God shrugged and said, "Jesus saves."

That's a cute joke.

LOL i liked that

BucketOfBouncyBalls said:

Hi Bucket.

2the9s said:

HIIIII BAAAAABBBYYYYY

BucketOfBouncyBalls said:

Here's an avvie for you:

9s jokes are better.

2the9s said:

THANK YOU I PUT IT
IM SO EXCITED!!!!

mary rose sat on a pin, mary rose

Nero said:

TMPletz said:

It made Nero giggle.

OK, not to turn this into a P&R thread, but this just reminded me...
Not being a Christian and never having read the bible, I don't quite get this whole jesus/god thing. So jesus is the son of god, but isn't he also god too? How does that all work? Or do I not have that right?

CarrieMpls said:

It's a similar thing to Myself and AsianBomb.


...
[Edited 7/17/05 19:05pm]

CarrieMpls said:

He's also a holy ghost.

"Praise father son and holy ghost. Amen."

We don't get it, and we never really cared.

[/royal"we"]

Anyhow, I was reading "Aztec Autumn" just today, and the main character Tenamaxtli has been going through confirmation classes and he talks about how he doesn't understand how the hell a trinity can be four people cos to Aztecs, trinity meant three, but the priests kept talking about God, Jesus Christ, the Ghost and Mary.

Nero said:

How'd Mary get in there, too?

Fauxie said:

oohh.. err... I think I get it.

TMPletz said:

Fuck if I know. I'm just as confused as Tenamaxtli.

Nero said:

Yeah, see, I never got that part either. No one ever talks about the holy ghost. Are there holy ghost stories in the bible? (Which, when I say that it sounds like things kids talk about 'round campfires at bible camp or something. ) How is there a ghost in the mix?

You know, never mind. I think some things I'm better off not knowing.

CarrieMpls said:

That is an awesome question. There were no ghost stories in the stuff we remember. Noah and so on.

CarrieMpls said:

There's the part where on Pentecost the Holy Spirit (Ghost) comes to the disciples and they start speaking in tongues. Kinda scary if you really think about it.

TMPletz said:

How is it God too. Why is he a spirit and a God and a son.

And isn't that sort of incestuous. If you're your own son?

Nero said:

Jesus Isn't God! I dont think the bible refers to Jesus as God as far as I know.

TMPletz said:

Well, thanks for answering, but OK, yeah, you lost me there. I don't know what Pentecost is. I've heard of disciples but don't know anything about them. It's kinda like when I saw Passion of the Christ and had no freaking clue what was going on. Other than the beatings. But that's a whole nother story.

In any case, sounds like it's much more involved than I really care to persue. I was hoping for a quick and easy answer. But I'm guessing with my lack of base knowledge there isn't one.

Hey Catholics!




[Edited 7/17/05 19:29pm]

Lleena said:

I think it's all part of the dogma.

Have we justified a move to P&R now?

TMPletz said:

It's Trinity, though. Where three are one, right? Like a triumverate except not.

2the9s said:

"Of one being with the father," is implying they are one and the same? That there is no distinction between God and Jesus right?

Lleena said:

Jesus has two "natures." God and man. That's the hypostatic union. He proceeds from God. "Begotten not made." (In other words, not created like Adam etc.)

That's as far as my understanding goes. I know there was a lot of wrangling over this in the early years of the Church.