PREDOMINANT said:

I'm saying I could have sex outside of a 'relationship', as the term is usually understood - i.e. two people expressing some sort of commitment to each other.

TheFrog said:

Oh, Ethel (your regular for 8 years) at Big Bertha's House Of Ill Repute said you left your Am.Ex. card in Room 4 the other night. She told me when I went to settle my account

TheFrog said:

I was just picking up on your comment about a relationship needing love. I have always felt that a sexual relationship can exsist quite hapily without love ( and vice versa of course).

senik said:

but seriously i couldn't have a relationship without either

PREDOMINANT said:

hmm.

that's cool. i guess just for me, i feel i need there to be love, more than i need there to be sex.

ideally, both are very important, but i don't think that personally i could be in a relationship, unless i loved the other person. i could probably bone them, but i'd need to love them to be with them.

obviously that's simplistic, because some people stay together despite a lack of love (and sex), but that's how i see things in principle, anyway.

TheFrog said:

Good to have principles

I particularly like your phrase "I could probably bone them"

Nikki23 said:

..... .....passionate and hot sex filled with Love!

i guess love is. but you need to have the sex in there somewhere or it'll be a hard road to travel

Nikki23 said:

More or less, it depends on the caliber of the relationship b/c there are all kinds. Now, if your speaking in reference to a monagamous relationship, I would say love is important. Whereas, if your refering to a fuck buddy, then sex would obiviously be more important b/c your emphasis is on lust not so much emotion thus, you're going through the motions just to releive your urge.
[Edited 7/18/05 14:17pm]

Most definitely love.. if I can capture a guys heart by love alone, I know I am onto a good thing cos the sex is just OMFG!!!! BOOM BOOM!!! awesome!

Love all the way..

sex without love is lonely and can be cold..

Nikki23 said:

I've been thinking about that a lot lately, & definitly (despite being a man), i don't c the point with having sex without being in love -or not in love yet, but at the beginning of a relationship, hoping it will work & u'll fall in love soon-, or cheating on someone. I just looooove sex & that's precisely WHY i love it when it's GREAT. & whatever people say, sex is only GREAT when u're in love, & most of all when u KNOW ur partner (mentally, physically, sexually). I have a few memories of very pleasant one-nite experiences, but they're just nothing compared 2 the pleasure & happiness i've experienced with long-term relationships.

Do what u have 2, one-nite trips can b good if u're someone who like'em, it can b very pleasant if it happens with someone u really feel good with, it can also b very disappointing, but keep in mind that u won't find the real mc coy in such experiences. Nothing is good or bad in itself, the question u have 2 ask urself is "what do i really want & need?" & "what am i made 4".

I've found my own answer 2 it. Took me 28 years.

Nikki23 said:

If that's true, then u're gonna discover something sooooo extraordinary when it happens... deep love, which include commitment, is the best in life!

Of course, sexual compatibility is IMO absolutely necessary 2 it, but when u get it, wow !
[Edited 7/18/05 15:02pm]

shaomi said:

I agree.

Spats said:

for great sex all i need is my vibrator. and it diesn't love me. i get lonely.

i'd still prefer love.

If a long-term relationship is what you're after, compatibility is much more important than the sex. No matter how good the latter is at the beginning, eventually it will not be as exciting (as Chris Rock puts its: "No matter how hot a woman is, some guy out there is tired of fuckin' her." ).

People who leave solid relationships for hotter sex are fools who are victims of the Grass-is-always-greener complex.

PREDOMINANT said:

It's not going to be a solid relationship without good sex. One or both people will not be happy. Unless you are too old to do it anymore. What's the point in being in a relationship with a woman if you are not going to nail her? There is nothing about women that is special enough to make you forget about good sex. Being with a hot looking woman and not being able to screw her would be torture. If she was homely i can see but why would you be with her in the first place.

Life is too short to settle.

Spats said:

Ass.

Nikki23 said:

You are comparing apples to oranges here.....Sex is just a physical act...Love is a mental state of mind and emotional connection....you can't gauge them on the same level of importance. Because they are not on the same level of importance. How many folks have you had sex with but were not in love with?

Spats said:

You are SO on your way toward an Appreciation Thread.

Fleshofmyflesh said:

What's that???

I am just speaking the truth. Unless you are a lot older and sex is not that important to you anymore then i don't see the point in being in a long term relationship with a woman if you are not going to have sex with her. What is there about a woman that is so mind blowing that you won't care if you ever get naked with her? Let's be real. Saying otherwise is a lie.

Spats said:

don't u fucking call me a liar...
i can have a relationship and not have sex...and i'm younger than you
i don't survive on it like u do.

so i guess u don't mind the fact that you might die a lonely peverse man who gets off on pinching nurses' asscheeks in your nursing home...

good shit.

Then you are really missing out.

DexMSR said:

I just think sex is as important as love in a relationship
but i suppose i have yet to meet the one,or whatever and really be in love.

Nikki23 said:

Have a Whap and a Pint!

Sex definitely.

Love is a very flat emotion compared with how multi-dimensional sex can be.

Not that most people will ever know this. Because sex is so shallow in American culture ... not at all revered as being spiritually potent like in the East.

But Sex is communmication on so many levels.

I'm mean it's physical, mental, emotional, psychological, telepathic, chemical, chimerical, spiritual ... God. It's beyond what I can convey.

There are things two people can exchange through sex that you can't with words or anything else. It involves all the senses and dares you to act and express something for the other person, even if it's hate. (but dont' go there... that's for psychos)


Anyway ... If I loved someone, but had very mild sex with them ... i do believe I would honestly fall out of love with them.


But if the sex is raw, primal, profound, and really, really in sync I will fall in love with that person by the third fuck. And we can work everythign else out later..

SynthiaRose said:

Good luck on that search

can we just get drunk and pass out instead?

sounds like a better time to me.

SammiJ said: