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Joke for the day...good one for a Sunday Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.
Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job." So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!" Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait! He cheated, how did he do it?" God shrugged and said, "Jesus saves." | |
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That's a cute joke. RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
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Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture! REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince "I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben |
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LOL i liked that | |
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BucketOfBouncyBalls said: LOL i liked that
Hi Bucket. | |
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2the9s said: BucketOfBouncyBalls said: LOL i liked that
Hi Bucket. HIIIII BAAAAABBBYYYYY | |
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BucketOfBouncyBalls said: 2the9s said: Hi Bucket. HIIIII BAAAAABBBYYYYY Here's an avvie for you: | |
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9s jokes are better. Insatiable taught me everything I know about balls.
"I was born dancing! I came dancing out of my mom's vagina! Moonwalking and stuff..." - Number23 on the telphone. | |
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2the9s said: BucketOfBouncyBalls said: HIIIII BAAAAABBBYYYYY Here's an avvie for you: THANK YOU I PUT IT IM SO EXCITED!!!! | |
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mary rose sat on a pin, mary rose
| |
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Nero said: 9s jokes are better.
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TMPletz said: Nero said: 9s jokes are better.
It made Nero giggle. Insatiable taught me everything I know about balls.
"I was born dancing! I came dancing out of my mom's vagina! Moonwalking and stuff..." - Number23 on the telphone. | |
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Ex-Moderator | OK, not to turn this into a P&R thread, but this just reminded me...
Not being a Christian and never having read the bible, I don't quite get this whole jesus/god thing. So jesus is the son of god, but isn't he also god too? How does that all work? Or do I not have that right? |
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CarrieMpls said: OK, not to turn this into a P&R thread, but this just reminded me...
Not being a Christian and never having read the bible, I don't quite get this whole jesus/god thing. So jesus is the son of god, but isn't he also god too? How does that all work? Or do I not have that right? It's a similar thing to Myself and AsianBomb. ... [Edited 7/17/05 19:05pm] | |
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CarrieMpls said: OK, not to turn this into a P&R thread, but this just reminded me...
Not being a Christian and never having read the bible, I don't quite get this whole jesus/god thing. So jesus is the son of god, but isn't he also god too? How does that all work? Or do I not have that right? He's also a holy ghost. "Praise father son and holy ghost. Amen." We don't get it, and we never really cared. [/royal"we"] Anyhow, I was reading "Aztec Autumn" just today, and the main character Tenamaxtli has been going through confirmation classes and he talks about how he doesn't understand how the hell a trinity can be four people cos to Aztecs, trinity meant three, but the priests kept talking about God, Jesus Christ, the Ghost and Mary. Insatiable taught me everything I know about balls.
"I was born dancing! I came dancing out of my mom's vagina! Moonwalking and stuff..." - Number23 on the telphone. | |
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Nero said: CarrieMpls said: OK, not to turn this into a P&R thread, but this just reminded me...
Not being a Christian and never having read the bible, I don't quite get this whole jesus/god thing. So jesus is the son of god, but isn't he also god too? How does that all work? Or do I not have that right? He's also a holy ghost. "Praise father son and holy ghost. Amen." We don't get it, and we never really cared. [/royal"we"] Anyhow, I was reading "Aztec Autumn" just today, and the main character Tenamaxtli has been going through confirmation classes and he talks about how he doesn't understand how the hell a trinity can be four people cos to Aztecs, trinity meant three, but the priests kept talking about God, Jesus Christ, the Ghost and Mary. How'd Mary get in there, too? | |
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Ex-Moderator | Fauxie said: CarrieMpls said: OK, not to turn this into a P&R thread, but this just reminded me...
Not being a Christian and never having read the bible, I don't quite get this whole jesus/god thing. So jesus is the son of god, but isn't he also god too? How does that all work? Or do I not have that right? It's a similar thing to Myself and AsianBomb. ... [Edited 7/17/05 19:05pm] oohh.. err... I think I get it. |
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TMPletz said: Nero said: He's also a holy ghost. "Praise father son and holy ghost. Amen." We don't get it, and we never really cared. [/royal"we"] Anyhow, I was reading "Aztec Autumn" just today, and the main character Tenamaxtli has been going through confirmation classes and he talks about how he doesn't understand how the hell a trinity can be four people cos to Aztecs, trinity meant three, but the priests kept talking about God, Jesus Christ, the Ghost and Mary. How'd Mary get in there, too? Fuck if I know. I'm just as confused as Tenamaxtli. Insatiable taught me everything I know about balls.
"I was born dancing! I came dancing out of my mom's vagina! Moonwalking and stuff..." - Number23 on the telphone. | |
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Ex-Moderator | Nero said: CarrieMpls said: OK, not to turn this into a P&R thread, but this just reminded me...
Not being a Christian and never having read the bible, I don't quite get this whole jesus/god thing. So jesus is the son of god, but isn't he also god too? How does that all work? Or do I not have that right? He's also a holy ghost. "Praise father son and holy ghost. Amen." We don't get it, and we never really cared. [/royal"we"] Anyhow, I was reading "Aztec Autumn" just today, and the main character Tenamaxtli has been going through confirmation classes and he talks about how he doesn't understand how the hell a trinity can be four people cos to Aztecs, trinity meant three, but the priests kept talking about God, Jesus Christ, the Ghost and Mary. Yeah, see, I never got that part either. No one ever talks about the holy ghost. Are there holy ghost stories in the bible? (Which, when I say that it sounds like things kids talk about 'round campfires at bible camp or something. ) How is there a ghost in the mix? You know, never mind. I think some things I'm better off not knowing. |
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CarrieMpls said: Nero said: He's also a holy ghost. "Praise father son and holy ghost. Amen." We don't get it, and we never really cared. [/royal"we"] Anyhow, I was reading "Aztec Autumn" just today, and the main character Tenamaxtli has been going through confirmation classes and he talks about how he doesn't understand how the hell a trinity can be four people cos to Aztecs, trinity meant three, but the priests kept talking about God, Jesus Christ, the Ghost and Mary. Yeah, see, I never got that part either. No one ever talks about the holy ghost. Are there holy ghost stories in the bible? (Which, when I say that it sounds like things kids talk about 'round campfires at bible camp or something. ) How is there a ghost in the mix? You know, never mind. I think some things I'm better off not knowing. That is an awesome question. There were no ghost stories in the stuff we remember. Noah and so on. Insatiable taught me everything I know about balls.
"I was born dancing! I came dancing out of my mom's vagina! Moonwalking and stuff..." - Number23 on the telphone. | |
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CarrieMpls said: Yeah, see, I never got that part either. No one ever talks about the holy ghost. Are there holy ghost stories in the bible? (Which, when I say that it sounds like things kids talk about 'round campfires at bible camp or something. ) How is there a ghost in the mix?
You know, never mind. I think some things I'm better off not knowing. There's the part where on Pentecost the Holy Spirit (Ghost) comes to the disciples and they start speaking in tongues. Kinda scary if you really think about it. | |
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TMPletz said: CarrieMpls said: Yeah, see, I never got that part either. No one ever talks about the holy ghost. Are there holy ghost stories in the bible? (Which, when I say that it sounds like things kids talk about 'round campfires at bible camp or something. ) How is there a ghost in the mix?
You know, never mind. I think some things I'm better off not knowing. There's the part where on Pentecost the Holy Spirit (Ghost) comes to the disciples and they start speaking in tongues. Kinda scary if you really think about it. How is it God too. Why is he a spirit and a God and a son. And isn't that sort of incestuous. If you're your own son? Insatiable taught me everything I know about balls.
"I was born dancing! I came dancing out of my mom's vagina! Moonwalking and stuff..." - Number23 on the telphone. | |
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Nero said: TMPletz said: There's the part where on Pentecost the Holy Spirit (Ghost) comes to the disciples and they start speaking in tongues. Kinda scary if you really think about it. How is it God too. Why is he a spirit and a God and a son. And isn't that sort of incestuous. If you're your own son? Jesus Isn't God! I dont think the bible refers to Jesus as God as far as I know. | |
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Ex-Moderator | TMPletz said: CarrieMpls said: Yeah, see, I never got that part either. No one ever talks about the holy ghost. Are there holy ghost stories in the bible? (Which, when I say that it sounds like things kids talk about 'round campfires at bible camp or something. ) How is there a ghost in the mix?
You know, never mind. I think some things I'm better off not knowing. There's the part where on Pentecost the Holy Spirit (Ghost) comes to the disciples and they start speaking in tongues. Kinda scary if you really think about it. Well, thanks for answering, but OK, yeah, you lost me there. I don't know what Pentecost is. I've heard of disciples but don't know anything about them. It's kinda like when I saw Passion of the Christ and had no freaking clue what was going on. Other than the beatings. But that's a whole nother story. In any case, sounds like it's much more involved than I really care to persue. I was hoping for a quick and easy answer. But I'm guessing with my lack of base knowledge there isn't one. |
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Hey Catholics!
The Nicene Creed
We believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, of all that is, seen and unseen. We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, eternally begotten of the Father, God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, begotten, not made, of one Being with the Father. Through him all things were made. For us and for our salvation he came down from heaven: by the power of the Holy Spirit he became incarnate from the Virgin Mary, and was made man. For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate; he suffered death and was buried. On the third day he rose again in accordance with the Scriptures; he ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead, and his kingdom will have no end. We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life, who proceeds from the Father and the Son. With the Father and the Son he is worshiped and glorified. He has spoken through the Prophets. We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church. We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins. We look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come. Amen. [Edited 7/17/05 19:29pm] | |
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Lleena said: Nero said: How is it God too. Why is he a spirit and a God and a son. And isn't that sort of incestuous. If you're your own son? Jesus Isn't God! I dont think the bible refers to Jesus as God as far as I know. I think it's all part of the dogma. Have we justified a move to P&R now? | |
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TMPletz said: Lleena said: Jesus Isn't God! I dont think the bible refers to Jesus as God as far as I know. I think it's all part of the dogma. Have we justified a move to P&R now? It's Trinity, though. Where three are one, right? Like a triumverate except not. Insatiable taught me everything I know about balls.
"I was born dancing! I came dancing out of my mom's vagina! Moonwalking and stuff..." - Number23 on the telphone. | |
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2the9s said: Hey Catholics!
The Nicene Creed
We believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, of all that is, seen and unseen. We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, eternally begotten of the Father, God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, begotten, not made, of one Being with the Father. Through him all things were made. For us and for our salvation he came down from heaven: by the power of the Holy Spirit he became incarnate from the Virgin Mary, and was made man. For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate; he suffered death and was buried. On the third day he rose again in accordance with the Scriptures; he ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead, and his kingdom will have no end. We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life, who proceeds from the Father and the Son. With the Father and the Son he is worshiped and glorified. He has spoken through the Prophets. We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church. We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins. We look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come. Amen. [Edited 7/17/05 19:29pm] "Of one being with the father," is implying they are one and the same? That there is no distinction between God and Jesus right? | |
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Lleena said: 2the9s said: Hey Catholics!
[Edited 7/17/05 19:29pm] "Of one being with the father," is implying they are one and the same? That there is no distinction between God and Jesus right? Jesus has two "natures." God and man. That's the hypostatic union. He proceeds from God. "Begotten not made." (In other words, not created like Adam etc.) That's as far as my understanding goes. I know there was a lot of wrangling over this in the early years of the Church. | |
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