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chavs, hoods, scally kids i know you all want to see chav lads and laddettes at the bottom of the North Sea, but to be honest, who else will make us all look civilised? and who but IrresistableB1tch will buy my kebabs?!?!? for the americans here is how to spot a chav: Sportswear - Baseball Cap What can I say? I'm convinced that male Chavs are issued with a Baseball Cap at birth! Disregard caps worn at a jaunty angle or back to front, the Chav will use his cap peak to conceal his identity to the max! Look out for the particularly hideous Burberry variant as pictured left! Sportswear - Banded Shirts and Jackets Forget Savile (yes, that's Savile, Dominic!) Row tailoring, what your Chav about town likes to be seen wearing is branded sportswear! The bigger the brand name on the garment, the better! Look out for what was this summers classic, the pink Nickelson polo shirt and this winters classic, the sky blue McKenzie hoody! Sportswear - Trainers Most Chavs don't actually own a pair of shoes. All they have are white trainers. Like all Chav attire, a prominent, Chav respected brand name is a must! Also the Chavs trainers must be clean(prison white) to make it look like they were purchased just that day! Look out for the Reebok Classics as pictured left! Jewellery - Gold Pendants Pictured here is the classic clown pendant in all it's hideous glory! Look out for other disgusting variants such as rag dolls, teddy bears, horses, gypsy caravans, guns and a clown with a pushchair! Don't be put off it's a rainy day, Chavs will wear their pendant outside of any garment on full display! Jewellery - Thick Gold Chains Do you remember watching 'The A Team' as a kid? Do you remember those thick gold chains Mr. T used to wear? This is what you should be looking for! Size matters, only count a chain if it's at least 5mm thick! Don't be put off it's a rainy day, Chavs will wear their chains outside of any garment on full display! Jewellery - Sovereign Rings Once the sole domain of cockney villains, scrap merchants and Jimmy Saville!?! The sovereign ring has now been embraced by the Chav, especially the faux sovereign ring. This classy piece of hand furniture makes the wearer appear to be rich and also comes in handy for giving the missus a back hander! Jewellery - Big Hoopy Gold Earrings Nothing says 'filthy chavster' quite like a nice thick pair of big hoopy gold earrings! When I say big, I mean a inside diameter of at least 2 inches! If you see someone with earrings so big they rest on the wearers shoulders, you are in the presence of Chav royalty! PS SIR JIMMY SAVILLE IS NOT A CHAV | |
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