to tell the other person that you love them? Is it 3 months, 6 months, or 9 months? Is it when you feel it and just blurt it out not knowing if the other is feeling the same way? Would you fear if it was said that the other person would just say it just so that your feelings wouldn't get hurt? Or would you just grow balls and not give a fuck?

at least eight years.

I think I waited a month. I already knew by that point that she was the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.I waited another 11 months to propose, though.

I tell them as a chat up line.

Then they feel so awe struck I said that, that then I hook 'em in line and sinker baby.

It pays to say I love u.

As soon as it's true. It really is that simple.

is it a such thing to fall in love with a person that you are in a relationship with before they fall in love with you?

missfee said:

Of course.

Dear Miss Manners:

Please, can you lend some insight? When is the proper time to say "I love you" to a new love? When you first know it to be true? When you think it is likely to elicit an "I love you" in return? Is it possible to say the words without it sounding like an attempt to elicit the same from the object of one's affections -- as a sort of romantic FYI?

Some insight: You do not want the other person to respond "Thank you," "I'm very fond of you," "I'm flattered" or "Why don't we catch a movie?" So while Miss Manners does not claim it to be impolite to make a declaration of love to someone you do not believe is ready to reciprocate, she would not advise it.

http://www.washingtonpost...00824.html

Natsume said:

I disagree. To play the tactic game just takes time and could create confusion. It's better to just be up front about your feelings. That's what I appreciate in a woman. And it's always worked for me too.

Just my personal experience.

oh no you don't.


You tell me shit like that and I'm out the door.

retina said:

I see both your side and Miss Manners'. However, being upfront about ones emotions can sometimes scare others away.

Natsume said:

you are right, it can. but that just means that if the person is scared away, then they weren't "the one" in the first place.

Natsume said:

Yes, I'm well aware of that. And it would be easy for me to say now that "well, if they're scared by that then they're no good anyway" but I know it can be more complicated than that. I guess I just feel that playing with open cards makes relationships sooooo much easier when it comes to pretty much everything and that it therefore would be worth the risk. If they're scared away, I'd be prepared to try to win them back once their reaction has cooled down. I honestly don't think that would be too hard if there was a connection there to begin with.

i feel like this, most guys respect women who aren't afraid to show their feelings because in some cases, the guy feels the same way, but guys take rejection harder than women, imo...

missfee said:

? Bit of a generalisation there don't u think?

Sure man got pride but men in general bounce back from rejection with a one night stand. More and more women do this too. I know I have. Women just cry for days and watch hugh grant movies aswell.

AsianBoi777 said:

out the door, eh?













AB777, you are the love of my life and i want to be with you forever.

I hate this part. I almost always feel it but don't want the man to get flipped out by it. I try and say it so that it's known I'm serious but not so that the man thinks I'm ready to jump off a bridge to show my love

missfee said:

Nu uh. No way! There are many more explanations to why someone would be scared off than "oh they're just not THE ONE." Some people are frightened by commitment. That doesn't mean you should automatically dismiss them. "The one" - regardless of if they exist or not, and that is left up for debate - isn't always easy to find nor win over. It takes work!

i like the line i heard in a movie once - "i'm in love with you. deal with it."

missfee said:

There is some truth in that. Maybe it's because we're usually more actively exposing our personalities when trying to find a partner (since it's more often the man trying to actively pick up the woman than the other way around) and therefore the fall is greater.

Anxiety said:

I might try that sometime!

It always is. Love it too important to play it safe. You gotta take a risk.

Anxiety said:

The question is how they deal with it.

retina said:

Exactly, retina... open communication and honesty are extremely important in any relationship but in the beginning every move is riskier because that relationship has yet to be established. There is an appropriate time and place for everything and "I love you" is heavy shit! If the other person is frightened off by those words but a connection existed in the first place, then I am all for hunting them down and forcing my love upon them... I mean, chasing after them and trying again.

thesexofit said:

yes women do take rejection hard, but from my experience from talking to guys that I know they take rejection harder, because while women cry for days until they get over it...guys (the ones I know) feel like they have to take revenge by sleeping with a whole lot of women for a period of time, until they feel redeemed.

retina said:

i like the idea of throwing out the truth and letting them do with it as they will. at least you'll get an indication of how they do or don't feel, and it's not bottled up inside anymore.

Anxiety said:

Exactly.

thesexofit said:

by the way, did the one night stand make you feel any better?

whenever you need a loan.





[Edited 7/11/05 17:34pm]

missfee said:

No Maybe ur right LOL. Grils do one night stands too mind.

Honestly I try and hook up with a girl pretty quickly so if I get rejected, i'll forget her face soon enough, unless she works where I work or whatever.

Its friends into lovers I hate. I.E:- months being friends and then u or the other person wants love and thus shit happens usually. I've been there done that. Thats really tough.
[Edited 7/11/05 17:32pm]