I'm alright, although I could be better. You know that chick that had that thread "I have low self-esteem" or something to do with that, I could relate to her, sometimes my esteem gets low, i try not to let it, but i get in these phases sometimes that are just so negative. I think I have too much time on my hands. I just graduated from college in December of last year and I just found myself a full time job paying decent money. My mom got me a new car for graduation, and I have a caring boyfriend. I should feel on top of the world, but i don't. I know i'll get slack for this because most people dream of achieving at least half of what i've achieved in my life already, yet I still feel down and out. I keep thinking about how when my boyfriend goes out with his boys and tells me how much he has, I get so upset, because I can't even depend on my friends like that. I'm starting to realize now that my friends, you know the "clique" aren't really my friends but just associates. They are upset with me right now because since i'm not a "follower" i don't follow behind them and do what they want to do. I guess I feel like the oldest 22 year old in the world. I rarely go to clubs, I only occasionally drink, I go from work to home, from home to work. I try to tell myself that i'm my own person is all and that there is nothing to worry about. But i keep worrying. My only best friend is my cousin who is married and pregnant with my godchild. And to make matters worse, by thinking about the negative stuff all the time, I think I make too much out of things with my boyfriend with the silly simple stuff that he does (like getting on my computer to download songs hours at a time instead of spending the limited time that we have because we both work full time on different schedules, with me.)

So i'm currently trying to do something about it. I've found that lately, by helping others, I feel a lot better. I've started volunteering to help other people on my job when I finish my work early in the day, and i've been looking into volunteering at my alma mater. I don't quite feel like the confident person that I should at the moment, but i'm trying hard to work on it.

I guess this is for those of you who care....
[Edited 7/13/05 17:32pm]

I am going through something right now ,i am high one day and happy and feel shit the next ,but i know i can get through it.Life sucks

Precious, you need to find out what makes you happy! That is all that is. You are surrounded by folks that drain you and literally get on your nerves. Shake all of the folks that drain your energy! I been there and done that! Hell, I ended up moving to another state to find out that it was me and the folks that surrounded me that drove me nuts. Now I do things just for me. On my day off if I do not feel like cooking I take myself out to a fabulous dinner and enjoy myself. If I am feeling gracious, I will invite someone to go with me. For the most part I just do whatever makes me feel good. Trying to do stuff for others sometimes works but you have to be careful that people are not using you and are appreciative of the gift that is you!

If you need to close yourself off to get yourself together do that! Living in a fantasy world temporarily is good therapy if you don't get lost there! Whenever I get into a funk my medicine is a road trip! I don't have to spend money either. As long as I have my camera I am good to go. It could be a fine ass man walking down the street, a scenic view of the mountains, museum or an antique store. If it give me a warm fuzzy I will stick to it, try to take it home, sleep with it or photograph it so I can look at it when I am blue. Hell sweetie, just read my posts!


If this doesn't put a smile on your face I don't know what will!

DexMSR said:

Or maybe this does it for you.

amorbella said:

Get you to your happy place and enjoy your twenties! If you don't learn it now it will only get harder as you go! Trust me! I can send you some other clues to your notes if you like! I can't put all of my secrets here!

[Edited 7/13/05 19:14pm]
[Edited 7/13/05 19:17pm]