All summer long, entertainment writers have worried about this year's box office slump. The entertainment industry, I suppose, is the only one that is supposed to make more money each year.

Last weekend's release of Fantastic Four, however, began a turnaround. At best, the industry analysts estimated that F4 would make somewhere between $33-36 million. Instead, it made $56 million dollars and now people are saying it may cause this year's box office totals to exceed last year's amount.

There is only one logical explanation for this turn of events: The Power of Jessica Alba's Booty.

There is no other reason that Fantastic Four is a success. It is a movie based on one of the most dated comic books of all time. The characters' names are corny: The Invisible Woman, The Human Torch, The Thing, and of course, Mr. Fantastic, a character whom I believe is the most egotisical superhero of all time.

His name is Mr. Fantastic. How much more arrogant can you get? Sure, Superman is pretty presumptuous too, but Superman got his name from a headline in the Daily Planet. Mr. Fantastic named himself. Then he named his team the Fantastic Four. He make them fly around in the Fantasti-Car. Of course, if I had the ability to stretch any part of my body, I'd be pretty conceited too.

But I digress.

The movie had almost uniformly poor reviews. There was nothing in the previews that even remotely made the movie seem good. It showed bad jokes, cheesy special effects, and no apparent plot. The movie was already made in a much better film last year, The Incredibles.

Yet, so far at least, the movie is a hit.

This is all because of Jessica Alba, of course.

Name one other person in the movie. Sure, there's the guy from "The Shield" and the other guy from "King Arthur," but mainstream moviegoers don't know who they are.

Jessica Alba, however, has been on the cover of a dozen magazines in promotion of this film.

Put simply, her butt puts asses in the seats.

In fact, I daresay that one day we will look back on this time as the Year that Jessica Alba's Ass Brought the World Together. Sure, some may prefer larger or smaller, flatter or rounder, but ultimately I think we can all somehow reach a consensus here. And if we can agree on this, there's no telling what humanity can accomplish.

May we see a picture of said ass (just so we're all on the same page, you understand)?

And her Abs! Have you seen the trailer for her new movie "Into the Blue"??

Hot

Smooches;)

Ace said:

Wha? You can't see the spendid pic I posted at the top of her fine posterior?

Is it just me or has the media been shoving Jessica Alba down our throats like crazy lately?

Is it just me or has the media been shoving Jessica Alba down our throats like crazy lately?

Is it just me or has the media been shoving Jessica Alba down our throats like crazy lately?