you may ask me anything included in the following list:

1. trivia related to the film and subsequent soundtrack of "xanadu"
2. custom-crafted slang for use at your school or workplace
3. how much i hate pizza in chicago
4. elevator etiquette
5. false facts about france
6. questions for my hastily-created cartoon dog character "waddles"
7. opinions on your newly purchased slacks/jeans/etc.*
8. mini-reviews of grocery items you've been thinking about buying**
9. queries which can be answered by a wacky picture found on google
10. umbrella care tips***



THANK YOU. THAT IS ALL. YOU MAY BEGIN.










* i will NOT answer "do i look fat in these?" questions.
** no meat products, please
***DOOK, AB777, Fauxie disqualified from asking questions in this category

damn umbrella disqualification edit
[Edited 7/11/05 19:25pm]

What is there to hate about Chicago pizza? Im curious.

Fauxie said:

DISQUALIFIED!!!!

Anxiety said:

I edited!

Elevator etiquette is one that intrigues me.
Is the concept kind of gay?

What are your top 3 recommendatiosn for geting along in an elevator?

deep dish pie
spinach + mushrooms = extacy

donk said:

Yes, and where should you look while in a crowded elevator? Straight ahead blankly? At other people? At the walls?

Is it ever acceptable to speak to a stranger in the elevator when there are only two of you?

dreamfactory313 said:

it's all deep dish. mushy gooshy deep dish. it's like eating a casserole or lasagna with soggy crust at the bottom. it's pudding-like. i miss nice, thin-crusted, greasy new york pizza. i don't think there's good thin-crust pizza in chicago because everyone here seems to like the deep dish stuff so much, nobody really cares about perfecting a good new york-style thin crust. and heck, i've even had good new york-style thin crust pizza in indiana.

though i went to MY PIE on clark street over the weekend and their thin crust was really close to what i like. fresh crushed tomato paste and a nice thin, lightly-seared crust.

Is it weird that I completely abhor the whole "deconstructed" jeans trend?

Fauxie said:

TOO LITTLE!!! TOO LATE!!!

Anxiety said:

Oh yeah? What are you gonna do, ban me?








Actually, disregard that question.

donk said:

1. don't barge into an elevator as soon as the doors open. wait a moment. let people out who want to get out. then get in.

2. don't assume someone's going to push a button for you. let them offer. if they don't offer, push the button your damn self unless they're sitting on a little stool and getting paid to push buttons for you. in which case, TIP THE POOR BASTARD.

3. don't - do not - fart.

dreamfactory313 said:

no

Fauxie said:

if you feel self conscious about where your eyes are going in an elevator, just focus on something in the elevator and concentrate on it. count the little holes in the ceiling tile. give yourself the illusion of thought, even if it's difficult for you.

and yes, it is acceptable to speak to a stranger in the elevator. the little old ladies who live in my bf's building chat with me all the time in the elevator. it's charming. don't ever flirt, though. that's gross. it feels predatory in an elevator.

Anxiety said:

LOL. I've done #3 on purpose just before leaving the elavator--silent but deadly.


I agree with #1 and #2.

TO asnwer Fauxie's questions, I think it's just plain wierd that people don't talk to each other in Elevators even when there are only two of you.

I'll often force a conversation on the other person just to amuse myself. Moreover, I'll say something ridiculous that they couln't possilbe relate to, like "Man, It's raining cats and dogs outside! This is like swimming around in Lake Minitonka--no what I'm sayin?". Priceless.

Anxiety said:

I love Chicago style and New York style. Have you ever tried or heard of Detroit style? http://www.buddyspizza.com/
[Edited 7/11/05 19:35pm]

evenstar3 said:

can you define "deconstructed"?

Fauxie said:

that'll be the day

I'd really like to tackle some issues I have related to Number 10.

My problem is directly related, see. I care well for my umbrellas, but when I get the rare chance to use one out here in sunny California, I shake it well, let it sit loose in the lobby corner, and that's the end of it. I never remember to take it back on my way out.

Fortunately, I've received many umbrellas in this same fashion: the Lost and Found of my previous employer was chock full of fancy umbrellas and I now have a swanky collection- my favorite being baby blue covered in dolphins.


My question is this, Anxiety. What's a clever, jazzy way to never ever forget my umbrellas on the floor of the lobby?

As the creator of Fridays being "dance at the printer day" in my office (The printer is next to my desk, and I enforce it ruthlessly. No, I'm really not THAT person at work, I just like to tease my emplyees.) I need a snappy phrase to commend someone for a job well done, or rather, a dance well danced. What would you recommend?

donk said:

4. don't ride in elevators with donk777.

dreamfactory313 said:

what characterizes detroit style?

donk said:

Just walk in with your fingers crossed in full view of people. If someone looks at you funny just say 'let's hope it doesn't get stuck like yesterday'.

Anxiety said:

Which day exactly? I want to clear out my stuff beforehand.

INSATIABLE said:

raise the stakes. are you married? you should tape your wedding ring to your umbrella when you leave it in the lobby. or you could maybe hook your car keys to it. that way, when you forget your umbrella, you're also forgetting something important. and boy, that'll suck.

Fauxie said:

Anxiety said:

Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.

Anxiety said:

a semi-thick buttery crunchy crust (not as thick as Chicago style but formidable). The cheese goes on the bottom, then the toppings and sauce on top. Its baked in a greased square cast iron pan.


[Edited 7/11/05 19:45pm]

Anxiety said:

that kinda crap. buying pre-ripped up pants.