Why is that when I see a woman dressed in your hide, my slinky goes "da-doing, doing, doing!"?

Just curious,
A.

There are two possibilites:

First and foremost, it is an acknowledgement that you long to see a women at her absolute best. Since cows are the superior life form, and since our hide draped around your human female makes you associate her with the excellence that is cow, the two images juxtapose to create the erotic sensation you may feel in your biped genitals.

My other assumption, maybe a little bit displeasing to you, is that you actually wish to physically be with in a cow in a romantic sense. In farms I have escaped from in the past there have been gentlemen like this, often named Jethro or Jed or Cletus, who tried to pursue this but most ended up with a good swift kick in their nether regions. I wouldn't recommend this.

Regardless of whichever is accurate, the wearing of leather is evil and you all should leave our precious hides alone.

Cow said:

Ace said:

Piecing the letters STFU together, I come up with the expression "Standing Tall For U" which apparently illustrates your allegiance to cow-kind. I thank you for the acknowledgement of our superiority.

It seems to me that, if Cow saw some examples of how fine humans can look dressed in his hide, he would quickly change his opinion. Post your pics of people looking hot in leather here!:

Ace said:

Disgusting...deplorable...just threw up my cud.

This is worse than one of Anxiety's threads!

These....



With one of these lil numbers....

PurpleThunder said:

My four stomachs are churning.

Cow said:

Its ok...it means youre excited...being horny is natural and awesome...explore it Cow...be one with your sexual desires....

AsianBomb777 said:

Feeling dizzy...physically ill...stuck with terrible recurring image of human desire to meld with cows.

The horror, the absolute horror...

My four stomachs are churning

Buttermilk anyone? .....

C'mon, Cow: you gonna tell me this one doesn't make you tingle in your special places?:

Ace said:

My udders remain untingled.

Cow said:

Liar! You gonna tell me this one does nothing for you either?:

Ace said:

Human female posterior coated in murdercloth...I am still unmoved.

Cow said:

viva le revolucion!

XxAxX said:

XxAxX, you continue to one of our most valued human allies. You will not be forgotten in the Cow World Order.

Cow said:

I'm offended you didn't remark upon the couch.

AsianBomb777 said:

Ace said:

Oh dear Cow Oracle...it is a cowflesh futon! Lay down and relax on a luxorious bed of despair!

Cow said:

cow i face a moral dilemna.

i have a fairly new wallet made of nylon, that i bought instead of leather because it did not represent abuse of the sacred cow.

however, the nylon is slippery, and has stretched so that the little pocket for my license and credit cards permits slippage of said cards from their pocket. on two occasions i have almost lost my cards.

this would never happen with leather, as leather is far superior (if tainted by nature of its cruel origin) in this regard, and if i were using a leather wallet i would need have no worries about losing credit cards and driver's license.

i am feeling tempted to buy a leather wallet, but i know it is a symbol of man's disregard for the loveliness that is cow.

what should i do? fashion a new wallet out of rubber and duct tape?

"waller' edit
[Edited 7/11/05 9:02am]

Cow said:

XxAxX said:

Damn our ultrareliable hides! I realize that no human fabric can duplicate the exquisite nature of leather but it still not excuse the carnage and murder of leather creation. I would advise maybe the complete removal of identifiers and human symbols of commerce. We cows get along without any sort of cards, the irony of course being that we could store them extremely well as we are made of leather. We do not need identifiers; we just are.

Short of that, I guess ziplog bags are pretty secure.

Cow said:

Do you really think I'd have a futon in my place, Cow? Boy, you really don't know me, do ya? That is an Eames sofa, bitch!

Ace said:

You say sofa, I say furniture of death and sorrow. You say Eames, I say they should all be called CowCarcass.

Sample conversation amongst two humans:

(Cow murdering human) "Hey would you like to see my new CowCarcass couch? It is a nice shade of black and I have completely forgotten that this used to be some poor little cow's mother."

(More enlightened human) "You disgust me. Let us duel until one of us inferior lifeforms ceases to exist."

(Cow murdering human) "Fine, as long as you promise not to get any blood on my new CowCarcass."

(More enlightened human) "So agreed."

You forgot the ending, Cow:

Sample conversation amongst two humans:

(Cow murdering human) "Hey would you like to see my new CowCarcass couch? It is a nice shade of black and I have completely forgotten that this used to be some poor little cow's mother."

(More enlightened human) "You disgust me. Let us duel until one of us inferior lifeforms ceases to exist."

(Cow murdering human) "Fine, as long as you promise not to get any blood on my new CowCarcass."

(More enlightened human) "So agreed. But first, let us shag on that hot couch - it's turning me on!"