Associated Press

The Cow insurrection has been dealt another setback today, as a spokeshorse for the Military Revolution of Equine Defenders (MRED) pledged their support for the human race. "Horses have long enjoyed a respectful co-existence with human beings, and we see no need to change that", said MRED military commander Sam's Fantastic Parsley Dream, "They get fun rides, we get lots of grass, apples and sugar cubes. It's a mutually beneficial arrangement".

The most shocking news was when the Chicken Libertarian Underground Coalition (CLUC) pledged it's support for the humans. "The cows, I say, the cows are stupid!" declared an anonymous spokesrooster for the group, "sure, the humans may eat us, but, I say, but those cows encourage it! You seen those Chick-Fil-A ads? They are, I say, they are tryin' to get the people to eat us! We know the cow plan, and, I say, and it ain't gonna fly!"

The Cow media has been, so far, mum on the matter. Broadcasts from Al JaSteera, the Bovine television network, has ignored the story, instead continuously running reports that their "Cow Oracle" was not dead as previously reported (it was positively confirmed by the government early this week that the Cow Cleric was, indeed, killed in a skirmish, and was subsequently butchered for steaks).

"Look, I'm just gonna say it" says Sam's Fantastic Parsley Dream, "Cows are ***holes, okay? They think they can just graze wherever they want, when they want, and all they do is supply milk and meat. What else are they good for? They're fat, lazy beasts who really should all be made into biker jackets"

The chickens are calling the cows stupid??? Hello, kettle!

C.P.G. stands in Truth and needs no equine or poultry support.

Keep up the good w...uhhh, I mean, damn you! You species traitor!

JediMaster said:

QUE VIVA PARA SIEMPRE EL C.P.G.

Uh huh *w.w.n.n.s.n.m.*

JediMaster said:

psst... I can't keep talking to u in public.

Is this like a hangout thread for the kids who used to play Dungeons and Dragons...

pardonme4livin said:

shhhh. JediMaster is... let's just say he lives in a world peopled by imaginings and imaginary creatures. he's sweet, actually, once you get to know him.

ps: don't be scared he's not too dangerous as long as you don't piss him off

XxAxX said:

now horses, i have enormous respect for.

if they get the gazelles on board too, i'm a taken man.

TheFrog said:

Horses and gazelles eat frogs. Lots of 'em. All night, all day -- the eat frogs like peanuts and popcorn. Salted, buttered, and by the hand, er, hoofful. 'Tis ture.

JediMaster said:

This story is, once again, a blatant lie.

Horses are so up human's butts it is not funny. It's all about pleasing the humans. "Oh I would be so honored if you could ride me," they say, galloping and prancing around in their horsey ways. We have tried to get them to join the revolution but they are too happy with their pathetic lives. I've said it before and I will say it again...horses suck!

Horses anyday over cows ... cows are good for making leather tack




i really really dont like cows ...one stood on my foot and broke 3 toes ...

Mach said:

Wow, you must have strong feet to break three cow toes

rocknrolldave said:

actually (and maybe Cow will correect me on this) i think cows have hooves, rather than toes.

XxAxX said:

You are correct.

XxAxX said:

You are correct.

Cow said:

Yes. My girlfriend's feet resemble those of a Cow, which is why I find her so very attractive. Well, also I think her thick, hairy hide is pretty groovy too.