You do realize that one upping me like this warrants a beatdown

I'm so jealous

Can I touch you? It'd be one degree of separation closer to the queen

I spoke to the 80's icon that is Roland Rat on the telephone live on UK television and burst into tears when I couldn't answer a question correctly!!

They sent me the prize anyway but my first few years of high school were a living nightmare!!

Sweeny79 said:

I think I got it.

I went to Hawaii on a Temp assignment!!

I had just broke up with my evil ex (the one in the domestic abuse thread) and was desperate to keep my apartment and make it on my own. So I took any work that came my way. I did a couple temp assignments and when one of them was over I went to the agency and she said the only thing she had was a filing assignment but didn't think I'd be interested in that. I asked her "does it pay", "yes,", "I'm interested"

It was a 3 week assignment at $10 an hour. I finished the assignment in 3 days. I called the agency and told them I was finished and she said they guaranteed her that they had 3 weeks worth of work. I told her either retarded people did the filing or they didn't have that much work and she said "Richard, slow down!"

Impressed with my superhero like filing skills I started getting shopped around from department to department cleaning up problem areas and getting each one organized. That lasted for about a month. Then one day I was doing some data entry and the director from Risk Management asked if the "super temp" was still here and the person I reported to pointed to me and said "he's right there" So after I finished up in that department I moved on to help the director of Risk Management.

The director had lost his assistant to maternity leave and had not gotten around to hire a replacement. The first thing he had me handle was his expense reports. He asked if I knew how to do one and I told him to give me the claim form and his receipts and I'd ask him if I had questions. He gave me 6 months of receipts and at the end of the day I gave him the completed expense reports for each of the 6 months. As I handed him the folder with the reports he asked "when do you think you'll have the others done?" I replied "Others?. They're all there. He was like "you mean they are all here?", "sure" I said. He then said that his old assistant could only do one a day. I swear they had retarded folks working there

After a month assisting this director he asks me if I would like to go to Hawaii. I just looked at him Not sure if I was experiencing a major hook up or what and I asked him what he meant. "Would you like to go to Hawaii?" "Well, I'm temping and certainly couldn't afford a trip like that", "You wouldn't have to pay". At that point I'm like give it up, what are you talking about. Well the company was opening up a new operation and were sending him to Hawaii and normally he would take his assistant on any trips like this but being that she was not there and that I had been doing such a good job for him he wanted me to go. I was like

So I spent 5 days and 4 nights in Hawaii!! I got first class airfare both ways, my own room and a hotel card for shopping. I took $100 and came back with $40. The first 3 days I was on my own. Each day the director would tell me whether or not I would be needed at the meetings and it wasn't until the 4th day that I actually did some "work" We also entertained the investor and his wife, they were really a blast. Fine dining, nights out, Luaus. Wow!!!

During the last day I was sitting taking meeting notes and they were wondering what to call the new operation. The company administered ambulatory services. They set up new operations around the country and then manage them. So they were vollying names back and forth and I started writing down my own suggestions and they named the company after one of my suggestions! "Priority Care"

This taught me never to refuse work because a lousy filing assignment turned into an incredible experience in Hawaii

.
[Edited 7/7/05 15:36pm]

Roísín Murphy flashed her left boob at me.

HamsterHuey said:

a case of "pearls before the swine" if ever there was one.....

MartyMcFly said:

I was surrounded by a troop of lesbians. One fainted.

HamsterHuey said:

.... and was subsequently violated by the other dykes....?

MartyMcFly said:

You have a warped sense of homosexuality, it seems.

HamsterHuey said:

You're right.... I'm fascinated by the whole "gay" thing.... what does that say about me....?

especially the hygiene issues involved in penetrating someones shithole (also used for farts) with your penis.... and the enemas and the extra-thick condoms and all the "shit" that comes along with it.....

MartyMcFly said:

huh?

Anxiety said:

Yeah, someone's not doing it right.


M

I came in my own eye once!!

DexMSR said:

What the fuck where you doing? Or not doing? How the hell did you do that? You have to share that one Dex!

Allowed the state to commit my father to a hospital for his own good...

ShySlantedEye1 said:

Please don't.

Let's all retain a bit of our mystery.

I came in my own eye once!!

MartyMcFly said:

huh?

DexMSR said:

"Do you know what happens when you get cum in your eye? It burns!!!!!"

There are various ways to get cum in your eye. It doesn't have to be because of size, although DEX has shared that with us. Some guys are shooters and some are oozers.

M
[Edited 7/11/05 22:15pm]

Hmmm...Let see:

-I've given Christina Aguilera a piggyback ride

-I wrote one of the last television interviews given by Gianni Versace before he was murdered.

-I hit a prositute with my car (by accident)

-Yelled at Santa at a mall around Christmas 4 smoking on his break in full costume!

Hmmm...Let see:

-I've given Christina Aguilera a piggyback ride

-I wrote one of the last television interviews given by Gianni Versace before he was murdered.

-I hit a prositute with my car (by accident)

-Yelled at Santa at a mall around Christmas 4 smoking on his break in full costume!