I was talking about this earlier today, and decided to ask these same questions here...I sincerely, genuinely do not go out on dates...not the stereotypical ones, anyway, where you ask or are asked by someone you don't really know but might find physically attractive anyway. So I'm curious about a few things...and wondered everyone's thoughts/opinion/feelings about them:

1) What is it that makes you decide to go out on a date with someone??...Is physical attraction enough??...True, immediate connection??...Boredom?? Sex??

2) When the date ends, do you usually already know that there's not gonna be another one? And if so, do you tell the poor guy or girl this right then and there, or do you wait until they call you again?

3) Have you ever gone out with anyone, and had them tell you that they weren't interested in a "date #2" with you? If so, how did you take it? Did you want another date with someone who didn't want one with you?

4) How long on average does it take, after first meeting someone (casually, thru work, school, whatever), for you to say to yourself "I want to spend time alone with this guy/girl"??...

5) How good are you at picking good dates??...Do you end up finding out that a lot of your dates are far more boring/immature/ditzy/rude/etc. than you imagined them to be??...Or do they end up pretty much being exactly how you thought they'd be, with no surprises??

6) Do you go on dates for the purposes of hopefully starting something that will lead to a relationship??...Or do you go on dates for the experience only, and without any thought of a second date, nonetheless a possible relationship down the road??

7) Yeah, I'm nosey..lol

I hate the entire concept of dating.

JoeyMFinCoco said:

Never had a date.

5) How good are you at picking good dates??...

Give them a good squeeze and they should feel firm but juicy.

Also check the sell by date.

Lleena said:

But honestly?

Lleena said:

I tend to get slapped when I do that...

Fauxie said:

no, really, it's the only way to check if they are ripe.

Byron said:

I get the feeling we're not talking about the kind of dates I'm talking about Byron.

Lleena said:

Perhaps not...

Byron said:

I now see what she's done there.

It's pretty clever. What kind of a mind could make that jump?

Fauxie said:

Same here.

Here's what I think:

If the feelings are mutual you'll end up spending lots of time together to the point when going out and doing something fun will be natural and you won't have to think about what to say, wear or if you should call them the day after the date or wait a while. You'll call because you've gotten used to talking to each other and spending time together. I loathe the "getting to know each other" kind of dates. If you don't know me and want to go on a date, you probably just want to get laid and I don't consider that a good start of a relationship. Why else would you force getting to know me? Hang around for a while, take your time and eventually I'll show you the real me if I feel comfortable around you.

I also don't do casual dating, because casual dating leads to casual fucking. I don't do that....see above. Besides, I can't be bothered spending time with someone I hardly know. I hate most people, 90% of my casual dates would be a disaster.
[Edited 7/3/05 18:02pm]

Fauxie said:

A smart one

JoeyMFinCoco said:

That's me right there... ..Growing closer thru casual socialization and interaction leads to something far more intimate and lasting. The "date" will occur naturally...

i only consider a date if more than 10 bucks are spent between the two, i have never spent more than 8 bucks on a woman, and then that was purely for a tube (subway) ticket....what ever happened to just chilling at my place with some weed and a hookah pipe?

Byron said:

Damn, I wish I could have put it in two sentences like you did.

JoeyMFinCoco said:

What these 2 are trying to say.....cyber sex.

Dugen said:

Fleshofmyflesh said:

Ya lost me...

JoeyMFinCoco said:

Casual dating does not necessarily lead to casual fucking, or fucking at all...

So you date, you get to know someone new, if you dont wanna have sex with them you dont. Sometimes you find a friend in that person, sometimes not. I would still recommend dating, it opens you up, and you meet with people whom you cannot normally spoend a lot of time with.. and it goes on from there.. dont like them? Then thats cool.. just stop dating them.

REDFEATHERS said:

Ok, so answer the questions..lol

REDFEATHERS said:

You're so full of shit (no pun intended). Why do I say that? Come on, I know you.

Byron said:

Ok, I will..

JoeyMFinCoco said:

Interesting thoughts.

In my case I simply spent lots of time with her. Not formally during dates. I was traveling, on holiday having fun. Met someone I liked and connected with and just hung out with her in her job and had a few drinks after work. I never asked her out, she never asked me, I never spent 2 hours teasing what's left of my hair and getting ready before picking her up in my car.
We were friends. There was a connection, unspoken, to the point that I didn't even see it as lust, physical attraction, love, or anything like that. Just enjoyed her company.

It was only in leaving and being apart for a year that we realised what we'd had. By the time I came back there was no need for dating. We'd been friends, never physically as intimate as even a kiss on the cheek. The connection was pure though. We could hop straight into bed and begin the rest of our lives together without going through all that dating nonsense.

JoeyMFinCoco said:

Cos its true.. you havent known me ALL my life you know. I did date alot.. why are you questioning what I have just said?

Fauxie said:

Beautiful...

REDFEATHERS said:

So where are your lovely friends now, dear?

JoeyMFinCoco said:

Your expectations from the dates may not be the same as the person you're dating, I think it's important to establish what your goals are and if they are mutual.