1) What is it that makes you decide to go out on a date with someone??...Is physical attraction enough??...True, immediate connection??...Boredom?? Sex??

Not sex, it could be interest to get to know that person (I might not be attracted to him at first), if I am asked out, which can be alot, I do not agree to all.. I most usually end up turning them down, I can be very fussy. Pysical attraction is NEVER enough

2) When the date ends, do you usually already know that there's not gonna be another one? And if so, do you tell the poor guy or girl this right then and there, or do you wait until they call you again?

I usually know.

3) Have you ever gone out with anyone, and had them tell you that they weren't interested in a "date #2" with you? If so, how did you take it? Did you want another date with someone who didn't want one with you?

No, they usually say they will call.. and I know they wont, but its kinda said out of politeness to avoid an an unpleasant end to the evening, we both kinda know, but there are timesw I have really liked a guy and he seems really interested and then doesnt call.. I guess he was just after sex

4) How long on average does it take, after first meeting someone (casually, thru work, school, whatever), for you to say to yourself "I want to spend time alone with this guy/girl"??...

Can be months and months, depends.. I have a few stories, but its 9.30am and I have a car picking me up in nan hour, so I gotta get ready.. but when I come back this eveening I will add to this

5) How good are you at picking good dates??...Do you end up finding out that a lot of your dates are far more boring/immature/ditzy/rude/etc. than you imagined them to be??...Or do they end up pretty much being exactly how you thought they'd be, with no surprises??

I am totally crap at it..

6) Do you go on dates for the purposes of hopefully starting something that will lead to a relationship??...Or do you go on dates for the experience only, and without any thought of a second date, nonetheless a possible relationship down the road??

Both

7) Yeah, I'm nosey..lol [/b] yes you are! [/b]

Lleena said:

You mean...like bringing a checklist or something??..

JoeyMFinCoco said:

On the end of the phone, dearest...

I will tell you more later..not here.
[Edited 7/3/05 18:35pm]

Byron said:

You might be looking for a long term relationship and they may not. This will become an issue and it might explain why the person doesn't want to continue dating etc. I guess it's a way of protecting yourself from disappointment.

Byron said:

I'd think this would be absolutely crippling. Perhaps it'd also be a good idea to bring along a few self-help books to do with achieving goals, self-esteem, what men/women want, dating tips etc.

In fact, I'd probably watch a whole season of Sex In The City before going out and then repeat to myself pertinent quotes from the series over and over like a mantra while getting ready for the date.

I believe there are elements of American culture that have made dating and relationships almost impossible for some people. I guess u could call it... AllyMcBealification. Or not.

The majority of my dating experience could be described in one phrase

train wreck

Fauxie said:

Was it a bit weird, becoming intimate with a close friend to begin with?

jerseykrs said:

LMAO

jerseykrs said:

You might wanna take the bus on your next date, then...

REDFEATHERS said:

Well, I must admit, it was slightly strange the first time I saw her when I came back. I wasn't quite sure how I should greet and address her. We'd never hugged, kissed or anything, but it was obvious we both had the same feelings about me coming back and us being together. There was an odd 20 minutes or so there. I think I simply said 'hi, how are you?' and she sat down. She was sat across the table from me and I think we exchanged pleasantries for a short while. Everything changed when I pulled my chair around to sit next to her. I'd never been intimate with any woman but I just reached my arm around her waist and that was it - in that moment all the feelings that had existed implicitly and pretty much unspoken were realised. U might laugh but honestly I knew there and then I'd marry her someday. I didn't ask her to spend her life with me until 3 days later, but I already knew. I don't know how, but everything came together in that first moment I touched her as more than a friend.

Fauxie said:

I love it!

Fauxie said:

Once again...beautiful. ...The first intimate physical interaction can tell you sooooo much.

REDFEATHERS said:

Um, yeah, I'll take that hug!

So I was wrong to peg u as a cynic?

I'm so happy!

Byron said:

Certainly can.

Cheers Byron.

Fauxie said:

Yes! I am not a cynic..

I asked you that, cos I want to know for myself..

Fauxie said:

I take it that your flirting skills severely diminished after that moment...lol

Lleena said:

How do you go about doing that, though??...Just say right off the bat "I'll go out with you, but only if you're up for a long-term relationship..."??...lol

Byron said:

Oh, I never had any of those to begin with.

REDFEATHERS said:

Ooh, intriguing.

Do tell.

Fauxie said:

I cannot

REDFEATHERS said:

You must.

It'll be cathartic for you.

Fauxie said:

orgnote..

REDFEATHERS said:

It's about me again, isn't it...

Byron said:

And you're misunderstood?




Don't you have a harem to attend to?

I don't like "dating." In fact, N. and I always called our "dates" either "adventures" or "outings."

Any way, to answer you properly, somewhat, no physical attraction is NOT enough. These things take conversation and knowing someone before you even leave with them. I've certainly been around people for the wrong reasons - I once "dated" a Jewish guy try to make my ex jealous. It worked. It was dirty. And I hated Adam (the Jewish guy). There has to be some potential there. Of course, then you get to the idea: How do you know there's potential there without "dating?" It's a fucking vicious cycle, I guess.

As for your second question, it has become evident to me in the first half hour whether it's even worth continuing the FIRST outting. Luckily, I've only had that issue once. But I stuck around the entire two day trip.

Three has never happened to me. The Jewish guy was all about a second and third and fourth, and hell, he still calls me. Even though I tell him, repeatedly, that I cannot tolerate him.

It takes listening to someone speak awhile before I can be bothered to think about spending time alone with someone. Sometimes, I see a hot guy come in the store at work or something, and I think, "I'd like to see him naked" or whatever piggish female thought you can think of. Eventually, they come to check out at the counter and I interact with them. Rarely do any of them have anything intelligent to say. It ruins it, completely, and even the thoughts of shagging them in the stock room leave.

I've done fairly well so far at picking decent dates for myself. The only loser was Adam the Jew. He makes me sick. The rest have been awesome, and have lead to long-term deals.

And, lastly, I think I already answered six. Nothing is worthwhile unless you think it's moving in a positive direction. I don't want to waste my time.

Fauxie said:

It's ok for me to be delusional...

Byron said:

beautiful.. its all good..

I never go on dates. Don't like the idea.

Heavenly said:

It appears that pretty much everyone is against dating...lol...(except Lleena, who makes out lists and squeezes her prospective dates for freshness and juiciness )