Don't believe that humans want to be just like cows? Take a gander at this article that just appeared in several newspapers.


Humans "Milking" the Possibilities of Plastic Surgery

Moo-ooove over Cindy Crawford! Here’s a tip, Julia Robert…ladies don’t want to look like you anymore. They want to look like cows.

A recent shocking trend in plastic surgery shows numerous women getting what has been nicknamed “bovine reconstruction”. Perhaps recognizing the obvious beauty of these lovely creatures, or maybe wanting to blend in with the hyper-intelligent cow species who will one day rule the earth, women are spending thousands of dollars to get horns installed, spots painted on, and hide graphs.

“It is an udder catastrophe,” says Lisa Hornswaggle, President of WWHE (Women Who Hate Everyone).

Doctors assure that the process is safe, if not extremely bizarre, and encourage women to make the choice for themselves how they want to look.

“If a woman wants to look like a cow, I’ll make her look like a cow, “says plastic surgeon Dr. Rectum Damnnearkilledhim. “If she wants to look like a houseplant, I’ll make her look like a houseplant. If she wants to look like an amorphic dystopic amoeba, I’ll make her look like an amorphic dystopic amoeba. It is all about what they want their self-image to be. Plus, I am getting paid, dude, so as long as my bank account is getting fatter, it doesn’t matter.”

The “bovine reconstruction” process is extremely painful and has numerous side effects such as excessive flatulence and a desire to be groped. But cows are saying that, despite the change in appearance, the surgery does not make a human a cow.

“Their human stench is still omnipresent,” said the great and mighty Cow Oracle. “They lack the innate goodness and high moral character of our kind. They can never be cows, no matter what they do. Humankind is doomed, so sayeth me.”

These words from a creature so intelligent that he makes Buddha seem like a fourth grader who has been held back a grade doesn’t seem to be deterring women from making the change.

“I looked in the mirror one day and saw my perfect breasts and tight abdomen and scrumptious buttocks and I say, ‘Gosh, I really wish I looked more like a cow, ‘said Ima Luscious. “Plus I just have way too much money and we already have two pools so I had to do something.”




Two happy women who have recently had the surgery

awwww cow your posts always mooooove me

Cow said:

ps:

I will admit that I admire 2 things about the cow:
1) the strong, durable nails - must be all the calcium
2) the high tight ass

What is the surgeon's number please ?

It cost me a fortune but i thought i'm worth it.

Deer, horses, zebras, gnus, bison, goats and elephants.

All of the above four-legged beasts I have respect for, and envy to a certain degree.

But cows?

TheFrog said:

How could you not have respect for those who 1) provide the lifeblood of humanity, milk, that is used for ice cream, pudding, butter, and milk chocolate; 2) will very soon be the new masters of the planet Earth, after the great revolution is complete?

Cows...you don't have to like us but you WILL respect us!

Cow said:

don't worry about Froggy. i heard he's been on edge ever his lilypad got too small for his butt

What really happened with the Cow Mutilations???

XxAxX said:

Okay, that's it!

You're not getting a christmas card from me!

Cow said:

Well then, I respect your udders, but that's as far as i'm prepared to go.

Cradams said:

sure but i still get a gift, right?

XxAxX said:

out of my apparently fat ass, you do.

for lunch today i am enjoying a small carton of 2% milk.

THANK YOU COWS! your milk is delicious and nutritious

XxAxX said:

tubby.

Cradams said:

no thanks, i'm full

YOUR COW ORACLE IS DEAD AS A DOORNAIL! I saw her butchered myself! Currently, she is a nice group of steaks in my freezer.


This is nothing more than ridiculous cow propaganda that is as believable as a Tom Cruise love declaration to a woman!

By the way, here is a glimpse into the fate that awaits you cows who are revolting (in every sense of the word):

see how you are, JediMonster?

the obvious and repellent pleasure you take in violent images of cow butchery.

your gloating ways as you look into the face of death, going so far as to even post said face here at the ORG.

do your naughty bits tingle as you view your handiwork?

i submit that it is YOU who are the viciously unrestrained serial killer you so often accuse bob saget of being.

it is YOU who rejoices in the spillage of blood and entrails, who laughs maniacally while severing your victims' limbs.

frankly i think you should click on this link and let them help you work out your problems

http://www.helpforcowhaters.org

XxAxX said:

I take no pleasure in it. If the cows will simply surrender, and return to their farms, then no further bloodshed need occur (well, outside of the slaughterhouses anyway). This is a misguided revolution, and it will only end poorly for the cows. I post that picture as a WARNING, not as a thrill. This is the face of your "revolution" and it needs to stop.

Death, thy name is Saget.

JediMaster said:

XxAxX said:

You are weird beyond words!

JediMaster said:

don't worry JediMaster. it'll be our little secret