I would spend my day with Kebab King.

We would begin by washing his camel, shoveling up the camel's excrement, and saddling him up. The King would take me for a ride in the desert and confide in me where Usama Bin Laden is, but then he would distract me with one of his mouth watering Kebabs and I would forget to call the White House.

We would bake in the sun, he becoming browner and lovelier, me becoming a flaming red tomato. I would then blister and he would rub aloe all over me.

We would find an oasis and drink until we both get that sick, "I drank too much water on an empty stomach" feeling. He would rock me to sleep while I tried to pretend his arm pits did not smell of Vidalia onions.

I would awaken in a hammock made of camel hairs, except it would be flat on the ground because camel hairs are not strong enough to make hammocks out of.
[Edited 7/1/05 5:38am]

I'd put my head in her lap and listen to her sing.