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The Teachings of the Great Cow Oracle It is the wise and great Cow Oracle who has predicted the overthrow of humankind. Here are some of the greatest teachings from the Oracle. See if you can wrap your pathetic human brains around these:
 No cud should go unchewed for the very existence of the cud depends on it being chewed. To deprive it of being chewed is to deprive it of its very nature.
Don't make hay while the sun shines---eat it!
A cow has four stomachs but should live like it has four hearts.
Milk all you can out of life. Squeeze the teats of experience and put your knowledge in a bucket.
A human who hates cows is twice as useless.
Love even humans for they cannot help their lack of wisdom. Then take over their sorry asses. (This one is my favorite)
Your brain hurts, doesn't it? The Cow Oracle knows all!   Eat Mor Horses | |
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Party like it's 699 BC!
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all hail the Cow Oracle
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Cow said: It is the wise and great Cow Oracle who has predicted the overthrow of humankind. Here are some of the greatest teachings from the Oracle. See if you can wrap your pathetic human brains around these:
No cud should go unchewed for the very existence of the cud depends on it being chewed. To deprive it of being chewed is to deprive it of its very nature.
In other words: EAT SHIT Don't make hay while the sun shines---eat it!
Yeah? YOU EAT IT!!! A cow has four stomachs but should live like it has four hearts.
In some countries, cow hearts are a delicacy! Milk all you can out of life. Squeeze the teats of experience and put your knowledge in a bucket.
In other words: SUCK IT!!! A human who hates cows is twice as useless.
Good thing I don't hate them! I think they're quite tasty! Love even humans for they cannot help their lack of wisdom. Then take over their sorry asses. (This one is my favorite)
Yeah, so far, it's all a lot of talk! Your brain hurts, doesn't it? The Cow Oracle knows all! Nope. "knowledge" from a dumb cow is pretty disposable
NEWS FLASH!!!! Here's a BRAND NEW picture of your "oracle", just taken moments ago: 
 Mmmmmm, steak!!!
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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JediMaster, watchout!
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lmao you made my day you sickos | |
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   "I am the way, the truth and the life; No man cometh unto the father, but by me." - Jesus of Nazareth (John 14:6) | |
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JediMaster said: Cow said: It is the wise and great Cow Oracle who has predicted the overthrow of humankind. Here are some of the greatest teachings from the Oracle. See if you can wrap your pathetic human brains around these:
No cud should go unchewed for the very existence of the cud depends on it being chewed. To deprive it of being chewed is to deprive it of its very nature.
In other words: EAT SHIT Don't make hay while the sun shines---eat it!
Yeah? YOU EAT IT!!! A cow has four stomachs but should live like it has four hearts.
In some countries, cow hearts are a delicacy! Milk all you can out of life. Squeeze the teats of experience and put your knowledge in a bucket.
In other words: SUCK IT!!! A human who hates cows is twice as useless.
Good thing I don't hate them! I think they're quite tasty! Love even humans for they cannot help their lack of wisdom. Then take over their sorry asses. (This one is my favorite)
Yeah, so far, it's all a lot of talk! Your brain hurts, doesn't it? The Cow Oracle knows all! Nope. "knowledge" from a dumb cow is pretty disposable
NEWS FLASH!!!! Here's a BRAND NEW picture of your "oracle", just taken moments ago:
Mmmmmm, steak!!!
Feel the wrath of the Ninja Cow!!!  Eat Mor Horses | |
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The Great Oracle came to me in a dream last night.
"Did you share with them some of my wisdom", Oracle said, in magnificent tones. She's pretty damn loud actually. "Yes, Master," I said. "But their puny brains do not understand." "You're way back on the Org pages aren't you?" Oracle asked. "Second or third page...you would be shocked at the number of threads ahead of this that contain the word penis in it. These Org humans are really sex-obsessed," I said, shaking my dream cow head. "Maybe this is not the site to spread my message. Maybe we should try a Phil Collins site or something," Oracle said. "Do they even have sites for Phil Collins, " I puzzled. "No, Master, I believe I can spread our Cow message and plans in this place...there are enlightened humans here who will serve our purpose. There is also the face of our enemy, as represented by Cow Enemy No. 1 JediMaster. If it is your will, I will continue to post on this human site." "So be it," the Oracle said. "Just one thing." "Yes, Master, " I said, greatly anticipating what the almighty and wonderful Oracle had to say. "Watch your hide. You will make many enemies here but know that your mission is a special one. You are the chosen Cow." And with that, the Oracle disappeared and I awoke, recharged to spread the cow message, like our divine manure is spread in the field to make pretty things grow. Eat Mor Horses | |
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Eternaldragon said: See? Proof that these cows are servants of Satan himself!
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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Cow said: JediMaster said: Feel the wrath of the Ninja Cow!!! Ninja cow= Fajita dinner!
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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Cow said: The Great Oracle came to me in a dream last night.
"Did you share with them some of my wisdom", Oracle said, in magnificent tones. She's pretty damn loud actually. "Yes, Master," I said. "But their puny brains do not understand." "You're way back on the Org pages aren't you?" Oracle asked. "Second or third page...you would be shocked at the number of threads ahead of this that contain the word penis in it. These Org humans are really sex-obsessed," I said, shaking my dream cow head. "Maybe this is not the site to spread my message. Maybe we should try a Phil Collins site or something," Oracle said. "Do they even have sites for Phil Collins, " I puzzled. "No, Master, I believe I can spread our Cow message and plans in this place...there are enlightened humans here who will serve our purpose. There is also the face of our enemy, as represented by Cow Enemy No. 1 JediMaster. If it is your will, I will continue to post on this human site." "So be it," the Oracle said. "Just one thing." "Yes, Master, " I said, greatly anticipating what the almighty and wonderful Oracle had to say. "Watch your hide. You will make many enemies here but know that your mission is a special one. You are the chosen Cow." And with that, the Oracle disappeared and I awoke, recharged to spread the cow message, like our divine manure is spread in the field to make pretty things grow. Know why she came to you in a dream? Because she is a friggin' GHOST! Mmmmm, she was TASTY!!!!
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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JediMaster said: Last night the Cow Oracle appeared to me too! Thanks to her influence I have discovered my inner dunce and embraced him. Look! I made this hat myself to reflect my new position in life!
 that's nice, dear. you're looking good, looking real good | |
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XxAxX said: JediMaster said: Last night the Cow Oracle appeared to me too! Thanks to her influence I have discovered my inner dunce and embraced him. Look! I made this hat myself to reflect my new position in life!
that's nice, dear. you're looking good, looking real good Yeah, keep changing the text of my posts. Won't bring your "cow oracle" back (or, as I like to call her, "dinner"):
Some Oracle. She didn't see herself being served up on my plate, now did she???
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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JediMaster said: If I stop eating meat today will the Cow Oracle bless my life with prosperity?? I think I'll try it. Here's my picture so the great Cow Oracle will know which one is me and who to shower those blessings on!
well if someone's life ever needed blessing it would be yours, dear. perhaps the Oracle will also kindly bless your face. no harm in asking, eh? | |
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