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Thread started 06/27/05 7:41am

JediMaster

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Tom Cruise: Dark Lord of the Sith!!!!

I KNEW it!!!! Katie must be his new apprentice!

http://tcruiseko.ytmnd.com/
jedi

Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9)
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Reply #1 posted 06/27/05 7:53am

senik

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You foo'kin' Cruiser bruiser bastards y'all! mad


Tom's hair will not take this just sitting on his head... neutral (confuse What the fuck did I just say confused).

I might have laughed my B cups off at that link, but If anyone else does mad .....I'm taking names, that's all I'm sayin' hmm

Watch out!


"..My work is personal, I'm a working person, I put in work, I work with purpose.."
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Reply #2 posted 06/27/05 7:55am

Mach

eek







falloff
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Reply #3 posted 06/27/05 7:56am

paisleypark4

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tom cruise












is gay...



boxed
Straight Jacket Funk Affair
Album plays and love for vinyl records.
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Reply #4 posted 06/27/05 8:06am

Nikki23

senik said:



You foo'kin' Cruiser bruiser bastards y'all! mad


Tom's hair will not take this just sitting on his head... neutral (confuse What the fuck did I just say confused).

I might have laughed my B cups off at that link, but If anyone else does mad .....I'm taking names, that's all I'm sayin' hmm

Watch out!

Your B cups lol Tom is gay and has bad hair face it Senik ...
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Reply #5 posted 06/27/05 8:08am

senik

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hmm

~Scribble, scribble..... JediMaster, Mach and now Paisleypark... #4, scribble, scribble~

whistling


"..My work is personal, I'm a working person, I put in work, I work with purpose.."
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Reply #6 posted 06/27/05 8:09am

twink69

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Has anyone seen the new ROLLING STONE with the interview with Jessica Alba where they say tht Tom's people approached Jessica first about been his publicity girl!?! they wanted her first as she had her movie Fantastic Four coming out but she said "NO" then they went with Katie as their second choice as she had Batman coming out
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Reply #7 posted 06/27/05 8:10am

senik

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Nikki23 said:

Your B cups lol Tom is gay and has bad hair face it Senik ...



mad

~scribble, fuckin' scribble!..... Nikki... #23!, scribble! mad ~


whistling


"..My work is personal, I'm a working person, I put in work, I work with purpose.."
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Reply #8 posted 06/27/05 8:12am

TMPletz

lol

Here's an even better quality movie of that:

http://mirror.randomfoo.n..._Oprah.mov
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Reply #9 posted 06/27/05 8:14am

Mach

senik said:



hmm

~Scribble, scribble..... JediMaster, Mach and now Paisleypark... #4, scribble, scribble~

whistling



omg
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Reply #10 posted 06/27/05 8:45am

JediMaster

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senik said:



You foo'kin' Cruiser bruiser bastards y'all! mad


Tom's hair will not take this just sitting on his head... neutral (confuse What the fuck did I just say confused).

I might have laughed my B cups off at that link, but If anyone else does mad .....I'm taking names, that's all I'm sayin' hmm

Watch out!



This is no lauging matter! Tom has been revealed to be Darth Maguire, evil Lord of the Sith! He's killed Oprah and had her replaced by a Clawdite shape-shifter!

"Scientologist" my ass! His religion is the Order of the Sith! He worships the Dark Side!
jedi

Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9)
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Reply #11 posted 06/27/05 8:49am

senik

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JediMaster said:

This is no lauging matter! Tom has been revealed to be Darth Maguire, evil Lord of the Sith! He's killed Oprah and had her replaced by a Clawdite shape-shifter!

"Scientologist" my ass! His religion is the Order of the Sith! He worships the Dark Side!



neutral




~Scribble, scribble JediMaster .....(X2!), scribble~



(And don't think I didn't see you two extra haters up there too confused )

~Scribble, scribble... Twink69, TMPletz... scribble~



"..My work is personal, I'm a working person, I put in work, I work with purpose.."
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Reply #12 posted 06/27/05 8:51am

JediMaster

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senik said:

JediMaster said:

This is no lauging matter! Tom has been revealed to be Darth Maguire, evil Lord of the Sith! He's killed Oprah and had her replaced by a Clawdite shape-shifter!

"Scientologist" my ass! His religion is the Order of the Sith! He worships the Dark Side!



neutral




~Scribble, scribble JediMaster .....(X2!), scribble~



(And don't think I didn't see you two extra haters up there too confused )

~Scribble, scribble... Twink69, TMPletz... scribble~




Oh, I'm not the "hater" my friend. Tom is the one who follows the way of hatred. Hate is the path to the Dark Side.
jedi

Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9)
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Reply #13 posted 06/27/05 9:16am

Lleena

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twink69 said:

Has anyone seen the new ROLLING STONE with the interview with Jessica Alba where they say tht Tom's people approached Jessica first about been his publicity girl!?! they wanted her first as she had her movie Fantastic Four coming out but she said "NO" then they went with Katie as their second choice as she had Batman coming out



I knew that relationship was genuine.
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Reply #14 posted 06/27/05 9:18am

JediMaster

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Lleena said:

twink69 said:

Has anyone seen the new ROLLING STONE with the interview with Jessica Alba where they say tht Tom's people approached Jessica first about been his publicity girl!?! they wanted her first as she had her movie Fantastic Four coming out but she said "NO" then they went with Katie as their second choice as she had Batman coming out



I knew that relationship was genuine.


Jessica Alba must be stronger willed than Katie. Katie was unable to resist the mind tricks of The Sith!
jedi

Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9)
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Reply #15 posted 06/27/05 9:32am

JediMaster

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From The Letter D:

Tom Cruise:Genius or Moron?
Maybe I'm getting old, but I'm not getting psyched about summer movies anymore. It took me forever to see Revenge of the Sith, I still haven't seen Batman Begins, and I have no urge whatsoever to see War of the Worlds. Maybe it's because I don't think WoW can be nearly as entertaining as Tom Cruise's meltdowns.

So now it's his turn for the Genius or Moron analysis.

Genius Moves:



You can't argue with success. You've got to give it to him, he's managed to do a pretty good job picking his movies. Sure there are some occasional inexplicable choices like Legend, a movie so trippy that I'm not sure that I didn't hallucinate it, but overall he's had a solid career. He managed to cement his success in the late 80's by essentially revising his Top Gun role over and over again (Cocktail, Color of Money, Days of Thunder).

Managing his sexual persona. Rumors regarding his sexuality have been around for decades, but if they are true, he's managed to keep in quiet by suing the pants off of anyone who even hints that he may have once hummed along to a Bette Midler song.
In a way it's a perfect rumor, because most people want it to be true. Straight men want it to be true because it's a great comeback for any women who fawn over him and gay men want it to be true because then they think they'd have a shot. Lesbians, besides Rosie O'Donnell, are largely indifferent.

I don't care either way but I will say this - out of his co-stars, which include Nicole Kidman, Thandie Newton, and Elizabeth Shue, the only time I've noticed any palpable sexual tension in one of his movies were his scenes with Val Kilmer in Top Gun.

Hiding his shortness. Tom Cruise is officially 4'10," but you wouldn't know it. He's suspended from cables in his movies. Seriously, he can play a hobbit without special effects. Prince once dunked on him.

Moron Moves:



Scientology - I'm not one to disparage someone's religious beliefs. Ok, sure I am. "Religions" founded by hack sci-fi writers should be fair game, though. It's like a cult for people too stupid to be Moonies. How can anyone fall for this?

The whole Katie Holmes scam - Does anyone really buy this relationship? It seems to me that he's trying too hard and this relationship is just too photo-op ready to be real. The more people suggest it's fake the more he tries to prove it otherwise. The last time I saw something like this was Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley (another Scientologist). Anyday now, I expect Cruise to put Holmes' deflowering on pay-per-view.
I can accept a man who just can't shut up publicly about how much he loves his woman. And I can accept that a woman in her late 20's is saving herself for marriage. I just can't believe both of these things at the same time.

I don't believe that their relationship is fake to promote their summer movies. I do, however believe it is fake relationship intended to promote Scientology. I've read that Cruise has tried to recruit young actresses before, "interviewing" Jessica Alba and Scarlett Johansson before
landing on Holmes.

Supposedly, Cruise has a contract with Holmes, that promises her the following: $5 million, five-year relationship, and here's the kicker, no sex. If this is true, my question is - which one of them asked for the "no sex" clause?

Firing his handler. Cruise used to have one of the most powerful PR agents in the business handling him. One of the reasons I want to be famous is so that I can have someone who's sole job is to spin all the stupid crap I do -
Press Release. For immediate publication. D's incident last week where he was reportedly seen naked, screaming, and smeared with vanilla pudding on US-1 outside of Malibu is attributable to his exhaustion from shooting his new $100 million Ike Turner biopic "The Bitch Was Clumsy." He's resting comfortably in a cabin outside of Portland.

Anyway, he's hired his sisters to manage him now and I think we can all see the results.

Verdict: Moron
jedi

Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9)
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Reply #16 posted 06/27/05 11:53am

TheBatman

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Tell me, do you bleed? You will!
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Reply #17 posted 06/27/05 11:55am

JediMaster

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TheBatman said:


He's evil. I tell ya!!
jedi

Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9)
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Reply #18 posted 06/27/05 2:04pm

JediMaster

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Beware Darth Maguire! He is determined to bore us to death with rants on various talk shows about the evils of anti-depressants.
jedi

Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9)
  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #19 posted 06/27/05 4:47pm

bkw

avatar

JediMaster said:

From The Letter D:

Tom Cruise:Genius or Moron?
Maybe I'm getting old, but I'm not getting psyched about summer movies anymore. It took me forever to see Revenge of the Sith, I still haven't seen Batman Begins, and I have no urge whatsoever to see War of the Worlds. Maybe it's because I don't think WoW can be nearly as entertaining as Tom Cruise's meltdowns.

So now it's his turn for the Genius or Moron analysis.

Genius Moves:



You can't argue with success. You've got to give it to him, he's managed to do a pretty good job picking his movies. Sure there are some occasional inexplicable choices like Legend, a movie so trippy that I'm not sure that I didn't hallucinate it, but overall he's had a solid career. He managed to cement his success in the late 80's by essentially revising his Top Gun role over and over again (Cocktail, Color of Money, Days of Thunder).

Managing his sexual persona. Rumors regarding his sexuality have been around for decades, but if they are true, he's managed to keep in quiet by suing the pants off of anyone who even hints that he may have once hummed along to a Bette Midler song.
In a way it's a perfect rumor, because most people want it to be true. Straight men want it to be true because it's a great comeback for any women who fawn over him and gay men want it to be true because then they think they'd have a shot. Lesbians, besides Rosie O'Donnell, are largely indifferent.

I don't care either way but I will say this - out of his co-stars, which include Nicole Kidman, Thandie Newton, and Elizabeth Shue, the only time I've noticed any palpable sexual tension in one of his movies were his scenes with Val Kilmer in Top Gun.

Hiding his shortness. Tom Cruise is officially 4'10," but you wouldn't know it. He's suspended from cables in his movies. Seriously, he can play a hobbit without special effects. Prince once dunked on him.

Moron Moves:



Scientology - I'm not one to disparage someone's religious beliefs. Ok, sure I am. "Religions" founded by hack sci-fi writers should be fair game, though. It's like a cult for people too stupid to be Moonies. How can anyone fall for this?

The whole Katie Holmes scam - Does anyone really buy this relationship? It seems to me that he's trying too hard and this relationship is just too photo-op ready to be real. The more people suggest it's fake the more he tries to prove it otherwise. The last time I saw something like this was Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley (another Scientologist). Anyday now, I expect Cruise to put Holmes' deflowering on pay-per-view.
I can accept a man who just can't shut up publicly about how much he loves his woman. And I can accept that a woman in her late 20's is saving herself for marriage. I just can't believe both of these things at the same time.

I don't believe that their relationship is fake to promote their summer movies. I do, however believe it is fake relationship intended to promote Scientology. I've read that Cruise has tried to recruit young actresses before, "interviewing" Jessica Alba and Scarlett Johansson before
landing on Holmes.

Supposedly, Cruise has a contract with Holmes, that promises her the following: $5 million, five-year relationship, and here's the kicker, no sex. If this is true, my question is - which one of them asked for the "no sex" clause?

Firing his handler. Cruise used to have one of the most powerful PR agents in the business handling him. One of the reasons I want to be famous is so that I can have someone who's sole job is to spin all the stupid crap I do -
Press Release. For immediate publication. D's incident last week where he was reportedly seen naked, screaming, and smeared with vanilla pudding on US-1 outside of Malibu is attributable to his exhaustion from shooting his new $100 million Ike Turner biopic "The Bitch Was Clumsy." He's resting comfortably in a cabin outside of Portland.

Anyway, he's hired his sisters to manage him now and I think we can all see the results.

Verdict: Moron

falloff

I need a spin doctor in my life so bad!
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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Reply #20 posted 06/27/05 4:48pm

PurplePassion6
5

Cruz is hot. razz
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Reply #21 posted 06/27/05 4:54pm

senik

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PurplePassion65 said:

Cruz is hot. razz



You wanna join me and me crew of Physics 'A'- Level sixth formers ? yay!

(They're the closest thing to Scientologists I could find sigh )




"..My work is personal, I'm a working person, I put in work, I work with purpose.."
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Reply #22 posted 06/27/05 6:19pm

dreamfactory31
3

He's attacked Oprah! eek
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