mltijchr said:

let us know how that works out for you, guys!

eh.. DOUBTFUL.


even the "watered-down" & "clean" version of our
"Polynesian WHAPFEST '05"
would be TOO HOT for the org!

the uncensored, unedited version of
Polynesian WHAPFEST '05
will be directed & then distributed
by the same guy
who did R. Kelly's.. um.. "video"..




WHAP!

mltijchr said:

Mos Def...too hot for the Orgs consumption....and I can make my "own" videos...LOL...Don't mention that muthafucka in the same sentence as me...I don't get down like "R"..and I can't stand his music either!

Polynesian WhapFest '05!!! Get the dvd while its hot!!!!!

DexMSR said:

ok, NOW it's getting just a little ridiculous... you're setting some poor org girls up for some major disappointments!
[Edited 6/23/05 12:28pm]

Dex - good point on R.;
& while I'm at it, let me officially say that

EVERY FINE POLYNESIAN WOMAN

in the Polynesian WhapFest '05 video

WILL

be.. between 18 & 24 years of age.


ah, &
IrresistibleB1tch :

the only women who will be disappointed
will be the ones who ain't there.

DexMSR said:

: flashesDexherboobies :

and oh

mltijchr said:

riiiiight...

IrresistibleB1tch said:

O-Ge

IrresistibleB1tch said:

HATER IN DA HOUSE!!!

Mach said:

WHAP WHAP WHAP!!!

DexMSR said:

TheOrgerFormerlyKnownAs said:

The next woman????

Sexy!!!!

funkpill said:

I'd give that all up for you fineness

Stymie said:

You don't have to give it up!!!!

Shooooot!!!! That's all good!!!!

mltijchr said:

I so disagree with you on so many levels on this. As I do with the author of this piece. Why can't the two peacefully co-exist? Why can't I be feminine and kick ass in the boardroom, too? It all boils down to there being someone for everyone. If that chick wants to change who she is to be with a man, then good on her. I wish her all the luck in the world. But if a man can't celebrate me and our accomplishments (because if I succeed then we both do), then he's not worthy of me. I want a man who knows upfront that I am smart and he is attracted to me because of it. I want him to dig the fact that I can trade options and can tell him what the Dow Jones is and what it all means.

Urrgh! This thread is frustrating.

Stymie said:

And you have taken it completely out of context....that is the cause for your frustration...you might want to read it again...

DexMSR said:

I read it three times. Can I have your take on what she's saying?

TheOrgerFormerlyKnownAs said:

That was for "Stymie" what is it you need to hear from me?

I posted this for you all to have a comment on.....you know my stance on this..and if you see the exchange with me and the brotha a few posts up...you will see my take on it.

DexMSR said:

I'm sorry. I am Stymie, Dex. I'll re-read what you said.

This is not the first commentary from black men or women regarding the "reason" why black women are single, lonely, and desperate (or so it would seem!)

IMHO ...Get over it...
Historically we were kept in the background...NOW that we've stepped up and taken charge (so to speak) of our own lives...

I would hope that ANY man I get into a relationship with would understand that I am opiniated, soft, strong, educated, career minded, understanding, loving, and have everything (I believe) it takes to make a healthy relationship. A relationship based on trust and equality, and the ability to accept that we are individuals as well as two people in a relationship.

Geez...

DexMSR said:

Okay Dex, I read what you said and to me, it appears you and I are more on the same page. The way i interpret what she is saying is that she has to sacrifice herself in order to find a mate. I may be wrong, but that's how i view it.

TheOrgerFormerlyKnownAs said:

It is not about sacrificing but more an "awareness" of what is still neccessary in forging and maintaining a relationship while being that successful woman in the workplace and son on. It is not a testament to giving that up, but more of a critique on how it is very easy to lose yourself or even your relationship in becoming that successful lady in the workplace. And reinforce the never antiquated notion that a woman is still a woman and must be that woman for their man.

Whap!

PiscesGlenn said:

Um...what did you just read???

Stymie,

I see that we have 2 different opinions on & perspectives of this same article – this happens.

1st, a woman – ANY person, in fact – can & should be themselves all the time.
I totally respect a woman who is feminine, who appreciates the DIFFERENCE between a woman & a man
&
can “kick ass in the boardroom”.
I would say that generally, I find this type of woman very attractive- in more ways than 1.

the problem comes up when a woman leaves the boardroom & goes home to her man..
& she is still in “boardroom kickass” mode.

It’s like – LEAVE YOUR WORK AT THE OFFICE.

I realize that sometimes (for many people) the line between “business mode” & “personal mode” can be blurred, but then it’s up to the individual – female or male – to know when & how much & for how long to be in either mode. (for the record, I have never had this problem – for me it has ALWAYS been easy to “leave my work at the office because.. THAT is where it belongs)
trying to be both or do both at the same time.. this can cause problems – or minimally "confusion" – for anyone who does this.


when a person – again, man or woman – comes home, it behooves them to be in “personal mode” or “partner mode” or “family mode” or however you want to call it. this is so simple, so logical, I almost surprise myself for actually stating this.

ff a person – woman or man – comes home & talks to or relates to their partner in the same manner that they relate to colleagues or others in the office (or the church, or the community center).. this is indeed a recipe for trouble.


you are right, Stymie – in large part it IS about there being someone for everyone. I have always believed that in this world, there IS someone for everyone out there.. it’s mostly a matter of coming across this person at the time
BOTH
people are (ready to be) themselves & give of themselves & love & share & grow as a couple, as a team.

a person – man or woman – reduces significantly their chance of finding/being with their “potential someone” when they relate to this potential someone in a way that is not appropriate to that (more personal) situation
(back to the “leave the work at the office” concept).


any real man should be happy for - & appreciate – his woman’s accomplishments- for MANY reasons. again, this goes to how you relate to your partner ; if you do it in an appropriate context.


let’s say that a woman gets a NICE raise - & a promotion. she comes home, she tells her man. for this discussion, let’s say her man reacts in 1 of 2 ways :

a) “ah.. great job Tina.. CONGRATULATIONS.” & then he gives her a pat on the back & a firm handshake.

or

b) “oh baby, that’s GREAT ! I am SO PROUD OF YOU sweetheart ! you know what – I’m taking you out tonight for a nice dinner in your favorite restaurant & then.. when we get back home, I am going to give you a nice shoulder massage until you fall asleep in my arms”..
like they are a romantic couple, a team.. something personal.

which you think this woman would appreciate more.. from her man– her love partner ?

if the man does “a”, then it’s like.. he’s.. relating to her in a more formal, “professional”, less intimate way..
kind of like he’s.. bringing his.. work home.. with him.. & relating to his woman in a way that is inappropriate in this context..


here are the 2 most important passages in this article, the 2 things that led me to interpret the article the way I did :

1.
What I have found, and what many of these women have yet to discover, is that the skills that make one successful in the church, community or workplace are NOT the skills that make one successful in a relationship.

2.
Linear thinking, self-reliance, structured goals and direct action assist one in getting assignments done, in organizing church or club activities or in positioning oneself for a raise, but relationship-building requires DIFFERENT skills.


I read this article carefully – AGAIN - & nowhere in the article does the writer say or even imply anything like

“a woman must subjugate herself to get/have/keep a man”

or

“a woman cannot or should have have goals or aspirations or dreams”

or

“if a woman has goals, etc. she should throw them away immediately.. ‘just’ to be with a man”


this woman - Ms. Jones - has apparently lived & seen this (sad) situation of many good women not having a good man; she knows what she is talking about, & she is mature enough to take responsibilty for her own actions & choices
&
seeing how they have/can effect her life.

what it all comes down to –– is this :

THE ATTITUDE & SKILLS & ACTIONS THAT A PERSON USES IN THEIR PROFESSIONAL/PUBLIC LIFE
ARE DIFFERENT
FROM THE ATTITUDE & SKILLS & ACTIONS THAT A PERSON USES IN THEIR PERSONAL/ROMANTIC LIFE.

JUST LIKE A PERSON HAS A BETTER CHANCE AT “PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS” BY USING THE “PROFESSIONAL ATTRIBUTES” IN THAT PROFESSIONAL ENVIRONMENT..

A PERSON – WOMAN OR MAN – HAS A DECIDEDLY BETTER CHANCE AT “PERSONAL/ROMANTIC” SUCCESS BY USING THOSE “PERSONAL/ROMANTIC” ATTRIBUTES.. IN THEIR.. PERSONAL/ROMANTIC ENVIRONMENT.

I appreciate you taking the time to respond to me. It's all about perceptions like you said. Because I do not live my life like this woman says, I guess I can't relate to her. The last thing I want to do when I come home from dealing with asshole stockbrokers is talk about what happened at work. I want to come home to my partner, hold him/her, kiss him/her and take care of him/her and have him/her take care of me. I have always been superwoman when it has come to my relationships. I know how a man and a woman should be treated and I do so happily. But at this particular juncture of my life, I prefer to be alone so I can take care of just me.

I'm not going to "stoop to conquer" or "yield to win."

That's bullshit.

It's fake and manipulative.

I'm not happy suppressing my strength, intelligence, and assertiveness. I would eventually become a pressure cooker and explode.

I like being strong in the world, but when I come home I do like I man who protects me and makes me feel safe because he's so damned in control. I respect that. But you have to earn that. I'm not giving that respect or deference away to soothe any fucking egos. I need stuff too.


I'll tell you this. I meet few men I like. The ones I do like are strong, powerful and ready for a challenge. I like a man who can handle me and be a leader because he IS one not because I play weak and make him a fake leader.

There will be no leaders by default around here

The men I have loved most, have appreciated the challenge. What kind of joy is there in 'conquering' a weak woman.

If I man meets a female force who's too powerful for him, he needs to work on his manhood.

Meanwhile, I'm waiting for the Rock .... since the love of my life (the strongest masculine force ever!) is currently unavailable....

P.S. As a feminist, it took a long time for me to admit I actually like to defer out of respect the ONE man I've chosen to love. I wrestle with that. I want to be super strong and have a super strong mate who surpasses me just enough that I can be taken under his wing. It's an inherent feeling that I've tried to fight ... but love is exception-making... so I will defer as an exception to the ONE I love.