Sometimes I wonder what life is like outside of these walls. Or what life was like. I miss swimming the ocean, what it's like to run free in a field, or even play in a park with friends. I want to be happy...but something in my soul won't allow it. I'm tired and drenched in my tears. Though I never show them. I waste my life, living in fear of the unknown. And in fear of the situations I've allowed myself to be in. No self pity here. Just misunderstanding of oneself. A purpose I no longer know. God are you there?
My soul is heavyily weighted. Confusion over shadows my hope. I no longer see the light, perhaps not even care to. I wear a smile and try to use my wit as to not appear weak to others. At times filled with rage; other times fear; but always filled with pain. Thinking of ways to take it all away. I try to see the beauty in life...but again, am not allowed. I see the hate, the hurt, the ignorance around and my heart is shattered like glass against a wall. Night over night, this screen sucks me into a world of imagination, hope, and even danger. Why? What happened? Feeling alone...always alone. Wanting to love, and to be loved. I can't feel love. Blessed and cursed at the same time. Pills to make me feel better, or are they really doing anything at all. Power of suggestion? Maybe...
I am tired. I am scared. A lump in my throat as I type this....but why would anyone care? Why do I?

samsara

Nah... you have to change to title of the thread. Your thoughts and those images do not portray "A Waste of Life".

You ever need to talk...

thank
you

If I could start from scratch I woludn't change shit
Same red bandana same 45th
Same g wagon same hoodrat bitch
Workers in the kitchen cookin up my shit
Same telephone booth same connect
That mean the same hollow tips breakin up in my chest
Same bloody t-shirt same address
Same dog food album bangin in my tape deck
Homie if I could make 94 today
I'd tell easy and dre to bring back N.W.A.
I would have told Pac not to stomp Orlando
Told puffy and B.I.G about the Rampart scandal
I got too many dead homies
Fuck a rap career
I'd give anything in the world to bring back my nigga tez
Seem like we was jus' in magic city yesterday
If I could bring back my homeboy charles he would say...


If I could start my life from scratch
If I could take away the pain off my past
If I had another chance I would do just that
I'd give anything jus' to go right back

If I could start my life from scratch
If I could take away the pain off my past
If I had another chance I would do just that
I'd give anything jus' to go right back


Homie if I could rewind the hands of time
I would of cut of the PS2 at 12:49
Nigga I'm a gangsta I stay on my grind
Who knew 11 minutes later I'd get shot wit my own 9
I was 2 beeps away from a flatline
When you a bad boy niggas don't wanna see you shine
Dre said its my turn
He call it game time
23" lexanis bitches call him ?lebron?
I'd give my own life if I could change God's mind
Bring baby luny back at the drop of a dime
He let off a whole k
Got shot 1 time
That was a coo nigga I wish he had 9 lives
My brother devon died coz he chased the cat
This a dog eat gog world Jesus please holla back
I got a confession to make its called payback
If y'all don't wanna listen show me where pastor mase at


If I could start my life from scratch
If I could take away the pain off my past
If I had another chance I would do just that
I'd give anything jus' to go right back

If I could start my life from scratch
If I could take away the pain off my past
If I had another chance I would do just that
I'd give anything jus' to go right back


I would have told Big Will it rain every Tuesday and Thursday
When pigeons in your coupe you gotta watch where your birds lay
Would have told Vita to stay sober
When niggas beg for mercy
That mean the beef is over
Told meesh to take the porsche back
Drive a rover
Told slim hit reverse on that hardtop nova
I would've change a couple of lines when I wrote soldier
So I wouldn't have to live lookin over my shoulder
My life is like an impala ridin 3 wheel motion
I've been front to back
Side to side
Level my 6 4 frame out
Keep on rollin
Keep your family far away and your enemys closer
Picture The Source suckin Benzino's dick
Tryna be the big fish in the pond
You know how them piranhas get
You dead when dat green line go flat
If you could start your life from scratch you couldn't change that


If I could start my life from scratch
If I could take away the pain off my past
If I had another chance I would do just that
I'd give anything jus' to go right back

If I could start my life from scratch
If I could take away the pain off my past
If I had another chance I would do just that
I'd give anything jus' to go right back