rocknrolldave said:

No. Im just saying we DONT have a perfect relationship, there are just some issues that we agree on very very well.




btw hello there fellow how are you this afternoon

AlienX2050 said:

Again, I appreciate your efforts, but it just doesn't quite apply. I'm right here in it so I know it's a big ask for people to give advice that's right on the money, but I thought it couldn't hurt.

ella731 said:

how are you?

p0pstar said:

He just doesn't want the truth.

He wants her to stop going out.

More than likely, she's had a few one night stands or is seeing someone.

You can't tell people this because they think that the person who's going out wiht someone else is wrong.

And realistically, the person's who is staying at home is probably controlling amongst other things. Of course you don't see anything wrong with that...

Man, whatever.

ella731 said:

Well exactly! U guys may have this area worked out very well, and that's why your advice is helpful.

AlienX2050 said:

Bullshit. This opinion seems clouded by your own experience, I am guessing.


Not all of us go out and shag around. It is possible to go out to a drinking hole with your friends and.....drink and be friendly

AlienX2050 said:

Thanks for your wonderful advice.

Fauxie said:

Okay. You're welcome.

...

rocknrolldave said:

Exactly, I can go out with my female friends, or he can go out with his friends, and there are no worries, if we didnt trust each other, whats the point?

p0pstar said:

Thanks p0ps.

I didn't want people to get overly concerned when I started the thread. I just wanted a little advice. That some people are concerned is something I really appreciate as it shows that there are some great folks here who appear to care about me very much!

It seems u can cut through all of it pretty well and see what the deal is. I expected to be called boring and told to get a life, and expected to be called controlling. Thankfully I can pick up on the bits of advice that apply and ignore the parts that are off the mark.

That I love my wife is not in question. That I trust her devotion is not in question. As I said, this relationship is a work in progress like any other. This issue doesn't consume our every waking minute. I just wondered whether anyone might have any suggestions about what I could do. Simply put, my wife wants to settle down and have children, but finds it hard to give up a partying lifestyle, especially when her sister is living here and going out a lot. That is the issue in question.

Fauxie said:

Oh god, now I am even MORE convinced that my wife and your wife are one and the same person. Give her back, she's MINE

AlienX2050 said:

rocknrolldave said:

It's possible. Seeing that this behavior is occuring more and more frequently, and she is obviously more entertained by something else there than to be honest with her husband. Come on.....she avoids his phone calls, LIES to him as to when she will be back. She's having fun, entertained by SOMEONE OR SOMETHING ELSE enough to not come home when she said she would. Hello? I don't mean to be rude, but didn't you say this is happening to you as well? Denial can be a scary thing.

rocknrolldave said:

We could swap. What if we're really similar too. They may not even notice.

Fauxie said:

i know what you are saying, she is a lucky woman.....

just don't be a door mat.

gemini13 said:

Well, as Fauxie has said they are talking about starting a family. thats a big step, I think that she might be just getting in her last hurrah while she still can. I mean I think Faux said that they are 23ish, its a big change going from young adults into parents. We all deal with things differently

Fauxie said:

I hope for your sake that you are noticeably better in bed than me, my friend

gemini13 said:

I hear what you're saying, but I trust her devotion. I know where she is right now and who she's with and what she's doing. She's dancing with 3 other girls around a table that has a bottle of Spey Royal on it, a bucket of ice and 4 handbags. She just needs to settle down a little and not get dragged back into her way of life from before.

gemini13 said:

Paranoia can be too

gemini13 said:

Not only is it possible, she's probably entertained by alot of other things.

When a woman is entertained by something, it's almost impossible to flip that unless you find something to entertain you.

Like flipping the script on her and do what she does.

That's alot of game playing though.

I'm too old for that kinda shit.

Shit, just leave her ass without notice.

She comes home and your shit is gone. She'll sit down for the moment and access it all.

Take the shit to the extreme...leave without notice.

Some people don't understand feelings until you surprise them and take it to another level.

...

ella731 said:

Man, they'd be crazy as fuck to bring kids in this matter.



You think you have an issue now.

Having a child will not make it better. It'll make it worse.

But go ahead....hard head.

...

ella731 said:

I'm 23 and she's 25, but she lived the party life from 16 until 20 and hadn't been in a long-lasting relationship before we met. It's been a big adjustment for her. She lived where she worked and not with her parents since she was 16. It's a pretty big change to go from that to living with someone and having to think about them as well as youself when u're used to looking after yourself in a city that can chew u up and spit u out. That's why it all has to be taken in context.

AlienX2050 said:

That would be THE worst thing I could do, but again, I appreciate your efforts.

Fauxie said:

Oh, I'm looking at your age. Okay.

Man, you won't know exactly what it is that you want until you get 35.

She pronbably already knows.

Women know that really soon.

Men are stupid until the age 35.

...

AlienX2050 said:

We're not thinking of having children now. We're thinking 2 years down the line. She wants to be ready for that, to settle down in preparation for that. It's just hard to give up old habits, and if u go out and see people from the time when u used to party hard every day it's not easy to forget those friends, even though u see how they're still stuck in the same way of life, and move on. Please stay on topic.

AlienX2050 said:

You're under 35, right?

Women can't live with them and you can't lick your own elbow.

AlienX2050 said:

I may be a lot of negative things, but one thing that would be clear to anybody is that I am not stupid. I doubt I'm alone in being male and under 35 and not stupid. Posts are just posts but to some extent they do betray your level of intelligence. I don't feel intimidated seeing mine next to yours.

notstupidnotstupidnotstupidedit
[Edited 6/20/05 8:28am]

Heavenly said:

Oh, would that I could.

Lick my own elbow, that is.

Fauxie said:

Sounds to me like maybe she has a drinking problem. If she can't "control herself" enough to leave the bar before 2 a.m. (you even used the word "powerless" in regards to her and a bar..) and come home to her husband even though she knows her actions will cause strife in the marriage, and she's finding it basically impossible to separate herself from a "partying lifestyle" (even though you said she'd LIKE to do so, and even wants to have children), then maybe what's happening is more than merely a character problem on her part...Maybe she's got an alcohol problem.

Bars and drinking, and the partying lifestyle, shouldn't be things or activities that someone is "powerless" against, or something someone can't control. And if that stuff is soooo out of a person's control that it's affecting their relationships, or how they manage other aspects of their life, I dunno...maybe there is an addiction issue going on.