Dear Diary,
I went to the grocery store today, and the cashier didn't give me a sucker. What am I suppose to do? Do I have to start buying my own candy? What a bummer.

You know diary some of the people on the org are cabbageheads. I think it's time to make cole slaw. Who should I start with? Maybe go alphabetically.

dear diary:

as i was standing next to Brown sugar i noticed this aroma coming from her..

TheRealFiness said:

tell us finess what might that be?

dear diary: the finess keeps posting cryptic messages that my wee little head just can understand.

oh well i got one of these so all i well with world.

dear diary:

people, i just have one thing i'd like to say: please let's try to remember the ORG bulletin board is for everyone to use. once your garage sale is over, once you've sold that waterbed, once you've found your missing sock or poncho - please remember to timely remove your ad from the bulletin board.

also, just another little reminder: no personal ads on the bulletin board. so whoever's been tacking up the lewd photos, naughty jokes, porno clippings, packets of condoms, edible panties, handcuffs, etc. - you know who you are - please just cut it out ok? it was funny at first but we get the joke already.

thanks.

dear diary: i think this is gonna be a really hot summmer.

dear diary:

this new job better be good...and gotdamn, let this month pass already...let it be july already!

Dear org diary,

I wish p00pyPl0ps was around more. She never seems to be online when I am... I can't believe AB photoshopped my head on to a gay DVD cover, that was wrong... Whatever did happen to MrBliss? We always ask where did he go, but does someone actually know?... Was Zelaira crazier when she was Natasha or is it just me?... I think my 'gut' thread may have negated any contributions to the 'org gigolo' one... Note to self: think long and hard before posting about your body fat...

Dear Diary,



I have been having some major issues lately. I have a bf and it's not going really well at all. This other guy I have been talking to told me the other day that he knew I had a bf and he didn't care, that he loved me. I don't know what to do. He is such a sweetheart and seems like he really cares. LAWD please help me, should I stay with me bf who SAYS he loves me, and kinda acts like it from time to time or should I see what the other guy is all about? I'm so confused and depressed.


Bye.

Tish4 said:

girl, i must interject. never leave one man 'cause of another. if your gonna leave your boyfriend leave 'cause of something he's doing to you to make you unhappy. if he hasn't done any of those things chill you may regret it later by thinking the grass is greener when all in all it may just be weeds. you may be excited by the attention this other one is giving you. i say spend more time with your current guy and figure out if its really worth it.
[Edited 6/12/05 19:09pm]
[Edited 6/12/05 19:11pm]

Dear Diary:

Cow has been so distant lately. She thinks I'm a "kiss ass" and that I try too hard to get people to like me on the Org. I tell her she's just a stupid Cow and she should mind her own business. Then she just rolls her eyes and says something like, "Well you're the one talking to a cow, dumbass." That's okay though because the next time she falls asleep I'm tipping her. Oh, yeah, don't mess with a Southern boy, bitch.

Sincerely,

GottaLetitgo, Esquire

GottaLetitgo said:

brownsugar said:

Great advice.

weakmomentedit
Dear Diary...As a newbie...I am NOT deleting my account no matter the cliques or whether I belong or not. I'll be here until the little Purple One tells me to go...ok, maybe...
[Edited 6/12/05 22:07pm]

Dear diary:

This is Cow. Excuse the typos, I'm typing with my hooves. I have jacked into Gotta "Calloused Hands" Letitgo's account so I could give my side of the story. I have been this moron's "milk ho" for seven years now and I will tell you that he is not cool enough by a long shot to be amongst the like of you superior bipeds. First of all, he is not funny. He thinks he is but humor to him is saying things to me like "what an udder disaster" when the milk comes out too fast. Ha ha, a word play on my udders. Hilarious! Another reason why this guy is a chump is that he is really uncool. He still wears Member's Only jackets and parachute pants and worships Andrew Ridgely obsessively. How many times can one person listen to "Son of Albert"? Another thing, what's up with that avatar? Vanilla Ice. Oooh, how painfully ironic. What a clever retort on the state of the world. He said he was going to tip me when I sleep. Well, I sleep with one eye open, bitchboy. Push my ass and I am going to trample yours. You dig, Turnip.

Sincerely,

Cow

Cloudbuster said:

dear diary,

i hope this newbie is banned.

that is all.

"remember that old children's poem about the chicken and the sky falling in? Yeah, that's right, 'Chicken Little' - that one. Read it and think about it."

Fauxie said:

i avoid you

haven't you noticed

dumbass

2the9s punk band sounds very worrying, the sounds they make are ones that I didn't think were humanly possible. It's like listening to the shriek of wild animals fighting, very haunting. Needless to say, I've reported them to the RSPCA.

I think Froggy lost his superman underpants as they turned up in my washing, I've pinned them to the Org bulletin board.

Yesterday I opened a kitchen cupboard and Cloudy lurched out at me and almost knocked me off my feet. What was he doing in the cupboard? Anyhow, the cornflakes box is now empty.

"Working out our food budget for the week got difficult today

It all started when EternalDragon and Dancelot started arguing about whisky. Dancelot wanted the 12-year old single malt, but EternalDragon said that while that whisky claimed to be 12-years old, it could actually only be a maximum of 13 days old because the label would have peeled off more had it been 12-years old.

lleena asked for her Brazil nuts as usual, which 2the9s rejected outright on the basis that it made him feel insecure. "

Dear Diary,

Could you please ask Lleena to supply more varieties of cereal if she insists that I live in her cupboard.

Thanks in advance.

Christopher wont let me borrow his Vivienne Westwood shoes, he says I might scuff them and that NOBODY wears them, not even him. He doesn't know that I saw Sag wearing them yesterday. She was working in the garden and they were covered in scratches and mud. I better not mention it as he might get upset.

Dear Diary,

I can feel the chunks rising.....i knew something was wrong when i found my glass shoe case smudged with finger prints and bits of fry grease.i found my v.westwoods not only scuffed and muddy...but with white dog poop on the bottoms. im truly gonna hire a hitman.

that is all.

I scattered a packet of peanuts in 2the9s bed, when he found them he went around asking everyone who could do such a thing and demanded to know who it was. I told him it was Froggy.


I've ordered some Weetabix and Rice Krispies for Cloudbuster.

Oh, just one more thing for now. Would you mind asking Lleena to leave neither her boogers nor her phlegm in the cereal next time, too?

Thanks again.

I'm not sure if somebody's said something to 2the9s, but he's acting real funny around me and making monkey noises whenever i approach.

Lleena's behaviour is starting to disturb me, too. This morning i was fast asleep in bed when i got this pain in my ear. I opened my eyes and Lleena was standing there flicking it with a rubber band.

I can't remember the last time Cloudy washed, either. Seriously, Big Org, i'm not sure i can take much more of this. Whenever he walks past I think the toilet has exploded.

Dear Diary, sorry to bother you yet again but there's some things I keep forgetting to ask of you.

Would you mind ever so if I was to knife The Frog in the throat and then stamp all over his kidneys?

Hope you come back to me with a positive. Cheerz.

Okay, i'm pissed off now.

I've just found my brand new Superman underpants pinned to the bulletin board.

The only possibly person it can be is Lleena, because some of the brown from her brown undies (she only ever wears brown ) has washed off and stained the "S" on the front of my pants.

at least, i hope that's just the colour from Lleena's undies.