Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel

The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:









I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ... click.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."

I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of llinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on he5r luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."

A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a m5ap of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"

Steadwood said:

Excellent.

I know I shouldn't laugh, but they were funny

Electrostar said:

[Edited 6/13/05 17:38pm]

XxAxX said:

Co-

I don't get it.

2the9s said:

Didn't you live in Hippopotamus? Or was that Monkeys Ass? I get the two confused.

lust said:

That's where Karen should live.

TMPletz said:

cute

this thread
reminds me of why I
definitely
do my part, I do the best I can
to "integrate" myself into the place where I'm visiting/staying..

I make a point to learn AT LEAST a few words in the language of place where I'll be - if I don't speak the language (ITALIANO or French) already.
I make a point to learn some cultural & historical things about the where I am..

it makes a difference.

there are good things about the US,
but by no means is the US the "be-all" or the "end-all" in terms of culture or how things should be done..
& the more Americans realize this when they travel
OUTSIDE
the US.. the more they will enjoy & appreciate their time outside the US..

So true, though. Every person I know who's done any amount of travelling could share with you a pretty fair number of heinous traveller stories -and it's nearly always Americans who feature as the stars.

My own personal favourite Dumbass American Traveller story:

Two years ago I was travelling across Europe. In Paris, I decided to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower. A busload of obviously American tourists (little hard to miss the stars 'n' stripes tour jackets) went up at the same time I did. One woman, after running around the deck and peering over the edge for a while, asked why she couldn't see the Eiffel Tower. The tour guide informed her she was standing on the Eiffel Tower, and she replied "Well shoot, I knew we done climbed up on something real high."

Reincarnate said:

!!!!!

A friend of mine was in Florida when someone asked where he was from, when he replied "New Zealand" the local said "wow you speak good English" to which my frien replied "Would you like me to teach you"

ive been in paris a few times n' i'm here just now (i live in glasgow) the yanks crack me up i once saw an american guy shouting at a waiter because he had asked for his eggs sunny side up , but when he was served the eggs had been turned ! this guy was totally losing the plot shouting n' bawling in a retaurant !!! fuckin hell he was in a foreign country demanding in english to know why his eggs were not sunny side up lol (actually it wasnt funny) i had to count to 10 cos i was wanting to knock his fuckin lights out , .....

almost everytime i eat here there are yanks at other tables , u cant miss em they are the fattest, noisest and without doubt loudest in the fuckin joint !

but in saying that i know the american orgers arent like that


[Edited 6/14/05 3:38am]

lust said:

meow85 said: