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THE BRIDGE: The Invisible Man...by Darryl James It happens when I walk down the street, when I am at professional events and sometimes even in social settings.
Sometimes, I disappear. Once, it was early on a Saturday morning and I was in a good mood, fresh from the gym. I grabbed a few bananas and some orange juice and stepped in line behind a black woman who was also fresh from the gym in her gym clothing. When she turned around and looked me straight in the eyes, I spoke. "Good morning, sister," I said cheerily. I wasn't trying to flirt, I was simply happy to see another black person. To my sad surprise, she looked me in the eyes for another second or so and turned back around without saying a word or at least nodding her head in reply to my greeting. It's as if I was invisible. It's sad because we were the only two black people in the store. I was surprised, but I should not have been, because this situation is repeated frequently for me as well as many other black people across the nation. It hurts to know that I am invisible to some of my own sisters, because I already know what people of other races think when they see me. At the worst, to quote Public Enemy: "The minute they see me, fear me, the epitome of Public Enemy Number One." At the very least, females of other races desire me based on the mythical sexual prowess of the black man. In many ways, my sisters are also invisible. Their unseen hand rocked the cradle of civilization and here in America, it was black women who nursed both black and white babies at their breasts at the birth of the nation. During the ongoing struggle for freedom following slavery, the crucial contribution of black women went nearly unheralded, leaving even some of today's black women with the belief that the contribution was small. In addition, I already understand that some of my sisters see black men in the media with white women and assume that the occurrence is more widespread than it is and so feel even more invisible to their brothers. Because we have changed the way we socialize as well as the places in which we work and live, it is harder for us to find each other, leaving both Black men and women feeling invisible. Sometimes, when we do see each other, it isn't the best image. As a Black man, I can be seen clearly as a criminal suspect on the news; as comedy relief where the joke is all about my ethnicity; as a reason for the displacement of white men on the job due to Affirmative Action and as the reason for the problems of the world. Black men can be seen as the cause of any black woman's misery; as the prime suspect of spreading HIV and as the harbinger of divorce and loneliness. We can also be seen as the sole reason for single parent homes and as the owners of lust for white women and disdain for black women. We are so much more than that. Black women can be seen clearly as ever-ready promiscuous vixens and video hoes; the eye-rolling, neck-twisting ghetto birds with funny names who drag down the race's decorum with their antics. They can be seen as the consistently negative, cartoonish hoodrats; as man-hating, combat boot-wearing feminists and as mothers of the reasons for the problems of the world. But they are so much more than that. To my sisters: I hear you when you say that you, too, feel invisible, but if I cannot get you to hear me and to see me, then we will remain inaudible and invisible to each other. I am reminded of another song--this one by The Whispers--"Seems Like I Gotta Do Wrong." The song goes: "Nobody saw me walking and nobody heard me talking ... seems like I gotta do wrong before they notice me." Those ignorant negroes (most of the rappers and comedians, all of the drug dealers, O.J., Kobe and Michael Jackson) who are the living embodiment of all that is blamed on black men garner more notice than the fathers, husbands, teachers and community activists who are not the loudest, but who are doing the real work. Even in conversations with some of the women who see us for perhaps the wrong reasons, we are not seen or really heard. We hear the things being said about us, but when we begin to speak about how we really feel, there comes a rage against us for daring to speak at all. To witness this, go to some of the websites that carry my column and read the mean and ignorant responses to things I never said or feelings I've never held. I am accused of being misogynistic, but those who hurl such accusations cannot deny that situations I speak of actually exist or that the resulting pain for some brothers is real. They just don't see me or hear me. I am invisible to most of America, only showing up as a suspect or a target. But that doesn't bother me, because I still work hard to represent my people well, and the only eyes I really care about are on the faces of black women. For a number of reasons, black men seem to be invisible to some of our own sisters. This is a perplexing situation, indeed, but particularly frustrating when we hear black women complain that they cannot find us. If I could say it loud enough to be heard across the Diaspora, I would exclaim: "Black woman, I am here and I see you--see me!" If we can become visible to each other, perhaps we can begin to really see and hear each other and really begin to work things out. So my part in this is to continue to recognize my sisters. When I see them on the streets or wherever we meet, I will offer a simple greeting to let them know that to me, they are very visible. I will continue to do so, even beyond the pain that comes when my greeting is met with a stare, a frown, or even worse--nothing. To quote Marlon Brand "She looked at me as if I was a bug." Even that would be an improvement over what we sometimes give each other. I will accept my role as The Invisible Man--a man with no name, because as the song goes, "that way I won't have to feel the pain." I harbor hope that one day we will open our eyes and begin to really see each other. But until then, I'll be invisible...invisible...invisible. The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain.
BOB JOHNSON IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!! | |
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This is beautifully written yet awful and true.
M MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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wow ... | |
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What are we to do with this self-hate? Why do we hate each other so much, or worse, why dont we care about one another?  | |
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dreamfactory313 said: What are we to do with this self-hate? Why do we hate each other so much, or worse, why dont we care about one another?
It is simple apathy towards what it really means to be a black man or woman in America. We just sit idly by while accepting their way of the world and their images of us and only seeking what is better for us when "they" have something to do with it. It sickens me having to deal with this everyday, yet it is our reality, and the same for alot more minority groups than ours. Sad sad sad!! The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain.
BOB JOHNSON IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!! | |
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Yeah. I was just having a similar conversation with my mom about this subject this past weekend. We were talking about coopertive economics in the black community and why blacks in our neighborhoods and in so many urban centers across America lag behind many other groups.
We sorta came to the conclusion that many blacks have excommunicated themselves from the capitalist idea of America and they no longer even try to participate in the rat race that is neccesary to survive and thrive. Its difficult to have the Black experience in America. We have subconsciously learned to hate ourselves and each other because of whatever conditions that may have been.(hundreds of years of slavery, house nigger/field nigger syndrome, Jim Crow, black father absenteeism, crumbling neighborhoods, subpar schools, thug life culture, anti intellectualism, etc.) After living a life as a black American, it is easy for ones soul to grow weary, we just have to find ways to uplift each other and slay the dragon. | |
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dreamfactory313 said: Yeah. I was just having a similar conversation with my mom about this subject this past weekend. We were talking about coopertive economics in the black community and why blacks in our neighborhoods and in so many urban centers across America lag behind many other groups.
We sorta came to the conclusion that many blacks have excommunicated themselves from the capitalist idea of America and they no longer even try to participate in the rat race that is neccesary to survive and thrive. Its difficult to have the Black experience in America. We have subconsciously learned to hate ourselves and each other because of whatever conditions that may have been.(hundreds of years of slavery, house nigger/field nigger syndrome, Jim Crow, black father absenteeism, crumbling neighborhoods, subpar schools, thug life culture, anti intellectualism, etc.) After living a life as a black American, it is easy for ones soul to grow weary, we just have to find ways to uplift each other and slay the dragon. One Black Person at a time brotha.....  The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain.
BOB JOHNSON IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!! | |
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MIGUELGOMEZ said: This is beautifully written yet awful and true.
M  The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain.
BOB JOHNSON IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!! | |
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dreamfactory313 said: What are we to do with this self-hate? Why do we hate each other so much, or worse, why dont we care about one another?
That answer could never be properly addressed here. Silent shouts, I hope you hear
I'm calling out to your body Baby, you know just what to do Close the door, no interlude | |
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NeoSoulScribe said: dreamfactory313 said: What are we to do with this self-hate? Why do we hate each other so much, or worse, why dont we care about one another?
That answer could never be properly addressed here. Yeah...especially for those that choose not to properly address it "here". The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain.
BOB JOHNSON IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!! | |
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Mach said: wow ...
Yeah...wow! The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain.
BOB JOHNSON IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!! | |
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DexMSR said: It happens when I walk down the street, when I am at professional events and sometimes even in social settings.
Sometimes, I disappear. Once, it was early on a Saturday morning and I was in a good mood, fresh from the gym. I grabbed a few bananas and some orange juice and stepped in line behind a black woman who was also fresh from the gym in her gym clothing. When she turned around and looked me straight in the eyes, I spoke. "Good morning, sister," I said cheerily. I wasn't trying to flirt, I was simply happy to see another black person. To my sad surprise, she looked me in the eyes for another second or so and turned back around without saying a word or at least nodding her head in reply to my greeting. It's as if I was invisible. It's sad because we were the only two black people in the store. I was surprised, but I should not have been, because this situation is repeated frequently for me as well as many other black people across the nation. It hurts to know that I am invisible to some of my own sisters, because I already know what people of other races think when they see me. At the worst, to quote Public Enemy: "The minute they see me, fear me, the epitome of Public Enemy Number One." At the very least, females of other races desire me based on the mythical sexual prowess of the black man. In many ways, my sisters are also invisible. Their unseen hand rocked the cradle of civilization and here in America, it was black women who nursed both black and white babies at their breasts at the birth of the nation. During the ongoing struggle for freedom following slavery, the crucial contribution of black women went nearly unheralded, leaving even some of today's black women with the belief that the contribution was small. In addition, I already understand that some of my sisters see black men in the media with white women and assume that the occurrence is more widespread than it is and so feel even more invisible to their brothers. Because we have changed the way we socialize as well as the places in which we work and live, it is harder for us to find each other, leaving both Black men and women feeling invisible. Sometimes, when we do see each other, it isn't the best image. As a Black man, I can be seen clearly as a criminal suspect on the news; as comedy relief where the joke is all about my ethnicity; as a reason for the displacement of white men on the job due to Affirmative Action and as the reason for the problems of the world. Black men can be seen as the cause of any black woman's misery; as the prime suspect of spreading HIV and as the harbinger of divorce and loneliness. We can also be seen as the sole reason for single parent homes and as the owners of lust for white women and disdain for black women. We are so much more than that. Black women can be seen clearly as ever-ready promiscuous vixens and video hoes; the eye-rolling, neck-twisting ghetto birds with funny names who drag down the race's decorum with their antics. They can be seen as the consistently negative, cartoonish hoodrats; as man-hating, combat boot-wearing feminists and as mothers of the reasons for the problems of the world. But they are so much more than that. To my sisters: I hear you when you say that you, too, feel invisible, but if I cannot get you to hear me and to see me, then we will remain inaudible and invisible to each other. I am reminded of another song--this one by The Whispers--"Seems Like I Gotta Do Wrong." The song goes: "Nobody saw me walking and nobody heard me talking ... seems like I gotta do wrong before they notice me." Those ignorant negroes (most of the rappers and comedians, all of the drug dealers, O.J., Kobe and Michael Jackson) who are the living embodiment of all that is blamed on black men garner more notice than the fathers, husbands, teachers and community activists who are not the loudest, but who are doing the real work. Even in conversations with some of the women who see us for perhaps the wrong reasons, we are not seen or really heard. We hear the things being said about us, but when we begin to speak about how we really feel, there comes a rage against us for daring to speak at all. To witness this, go to some of the websites that carry my column and read the mean and ignorant responses to things I never said or feelings I've never held. I am accused of being misogynistic, but those who hurl such accusations cannot deny that situations I speak of actually exist or that the resulting pain for some brothers is real. They just don't see me or hear me. I am invisible to most of America, only showing up as a suspect or a target. But that doesn't bother me, because I still work hard to represent my people well, and the only eyes I really care about are on the faces of black women. For a number of reasons, black men seem to be invisible to some of our own sisters. This is a perplexing situation, indeed, but particularly frustrating when we hear black women complain that they cannot find us. If I could say it loud enough to be heard across the Diaspora, I would exclaim: "Black woman, I am here and I see you--see me!" If we can become visible to each other, perhaps we can begin to really see and hear each other and really begin to work things out. So my part in this is to continue to recognize my sisters. When I see them on the streets or wherever we meet, I will offer a simple greeting to let them know that to me, they are very visible. I will continue to do so, even beyond the pain that comes when my greeting is met with a stare, a frown, or even worse--nothing. To quote Marlon Brand "She looked at me as if I was a bug." Even that would be an improvement over what we sometimes give each other. I will accept my role as The Invisible Man--a man with no name, because as the song goes, "that way I won't have to feel the pain." I harbor hope that one day we will open our eyes and begin to really see each other. But until then, I'll be invisible...invisible...invisible. Sometimes to be invisible is the best thing to be 
I know you know that often our people attempt to disassociate from themselves....as sad as it is....you can't open eyes that are clinched shut. Don't let them steal your sunshine.....and hopefully even through her ignorance some of your sunshine will be cast on her...in spite of her. It's funny that a smile ...that costs nothing .....an acknowleging exchange/greeting can be rebuked for no good reason. You can't change the world, my brother....but you can damn sure not let that jade you. Keep being invisible  | |
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DexMSR said: I will accept my role as The Invisible Man--a man with no name, because as the song goes, "that way I won't have to feel the pain." I harbor hope that one day we will open our eyes and begin to really see each other. But until then, I'll be invisible...invisible...invisible. Powerful piece. A concept that Ralph Ellison explored in... 
...The Invisible Man It makes you wonder what kind of person (regardless of color) it takes to deny you the simple acknowledgement of presence? tA  Tribal Disorder
http://www.soundclick.com...rmusic.htm "Ya see, we're not interested in what you know...but what you are willing to learn. C'mon y'all." | |
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theAudience said: DexMSR said: I will accept my role as The Invisible Man--a man with no name, because as the song goes, "that way I won't have to feel the pain." I harbor hope that one day we will open our eyes and begin to really see each other. But until then, I'll be invisible...invisible...invisible. Powerful piece. A concept that Ralph Ellison explored in...
...The Invisible Man It makes you wonder what kind of person (regardless of color) it takes to deny you the simple acknowledgement of presence? tA Tribal Disorder
http://www.soundclick.com...rmusic.htm Making a note of reference! Thanks! The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain.
BOB JOHNSON IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!! | |
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theAudience said: DexMSR said: I will accept my role as The Invisible Man--a man with no name, because as the song goes, "that way I won't have to feel the pain." I harbor hope that one day we will open our eyes and begin to really see each other. But until then, I'll be invisible...invisible...invisible. Powerful piece. A concept that Ralph Ellison explored in...
...The Invisible Man It makes you wonder what kind of person (regardless of color) it takes to deny you the simple acknowledgement of presence? tA Tribal Disorder
http://www.soundclick.com...rmusic.htm excellent book | |
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