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Brutally Honest Personals -UPDATES. ROTFMAO!!!! http://www.esquire.com/brutal/ 
My friend says I have an amazing heart, although I tend to disagree. I'm as narcissistic and verbose as I am obsessive and introspective. I fear intimacy and often create drama. I've made annoying others into an art. Because I avoid things that don't interest me, my living spaces tend to resemble colorful garbage dumps without the horrid smell. And despite having a large stomach and excess facial and body hair from polycystic-ovary syndrome, I am extremely picky. WHY YOU SHOULD DATE ME: I sing show tunes all night. 
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lovely  | |
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brownsugar said: lovely
Age: 31 Name: brownsugar Although I am well known for being a strong woman, I am weakest in my kitchen skills. I don’t even know how to use my kitchen utensils, which are all neglected except for a rusty old spatula that I use to beat my boyfriends with. I am famous for waking my lovers up in the middle of the night with my high pitched, jovial squeal, laced with a tinge of malice—a side affect of drug experimentation during the rockin’ 80’s. It’s best to take me out on Saturday evenings. Due to my hectic modern lifestyle that’s the day I schedule my showers. 
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Do me! Do me!  | |
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Fauxie said: Do me! Do me!
Tart!!!! | |
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Ocean said: Fauxie said: Do me! Do me!
Tart!!!! Dirty mind!  | |
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AsianBoi777 said: brownsugar said: lovely
Age: 31 Name: brownsugar Although I am well known for being a strong woman, I am weakest in my kitchen skills. I don’t even know how to use my kitchen utensils, which are all neglected except for a rusty old spatula that I use to beat my boyfriends with. I am famous for waking my lovers up in the middle of the night with my high pitched, jovial squeal, laced with a tinge of malice—a side affect of drug experimentation during the rockin’ 80’s. It’s best to take me out on Saturday evenings. Due to my hectic modern lifestyle that’s the day I schedule my showers.
you ASS | |
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Fauxie said: Ocean said: Tart!!!! Dirty mind!  Hey I'm old and not getting any lol | |
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Age: 30 Height: 5'11" Weight: 185 Occupation: Unemployed Number of sexual partners: 0 Last date: Never Location: Forgot Seeking: A good-looking, intelligent woman who can overlook my physical shortcomings and teach me about love. Please hurry. I am a thirty-year-old virgin on the verge of giving up on love. When I do have a job, it's low paying, and credit consolidators take half of what I earn. I'm behind on my rent, emotionally closed, and take medication to treat my depression. I'm short, not that attractive, a little fat, and have a very small penis. I also have a problem with excessive farting. I studied mathematics in college but still live under the delusional hope of becoming an actor. | |
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althom said:
Age: 30 Height: 5'11" Weight: 185 Occupation: Unemployed Number of sexual partners: 0 Last date: Never Location: Forgot Seeking: A good-looking, intelligent woman who can overlook my physical shortcomings and teach me about love. Please hurry. I am a thirty-year-old virgin on the verge of giving up on love. When I do have a job, it's low paying, and credit consolidators take half of what I earn. I'm behind on my rent, emotionally closed, and take medication to treat my depression. I'm short, not that attractive, a little fat, and have a very small penis. I also have a problem with excessive farting. I studied mathematics in college but still live under the delusional hope of becoming an actor. | |
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Age: 27 Height: 6'3" Weight: 195 Occupation: Temp Last time had sex: A few nights ago Location: Pub Seeking: Gorgeous model blinded by my brilliance and ready to run away with me to Jamaica. (You'll probably have to pay.) I'm lanky, ridiculously in debt, and almost always stoned. I don't have much ambition and live at home. Nonetheless, I'm optimistic and have a vexing confidence. You can usually find me on my couch or in bed or, if I'm feeling active, eating cookies in front of the TV. When I do drag myself out of bed, I actually enjoy limited exercise, frivolous indulgences, and frequent masturbation. | |
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'eating cookies in front of the tv' | |
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Age: (a lady never reveals her secrets) Name: Althom Although my photograph looks deceivingly like a gorgeous blond bombshell, I’m really a man dressed in drag. No, I’m not transgender in the sense that it is an urge I can’t help—I actually dislike dressing up in women’s clothing. But it allows me access into women’s locker rooms where I can finally see naked women, since Adult porn sites are locked on my computer at home because my parents have a filter on the family computer. One day, I should hope to move out of their house. My favorite time of the year is winter. I actually hate the cold, but when it’s warm, dressing in drag can be quite cumbersome—If you don’t believe me, take a wiff of my balls in pantyhose after a hot summer day. 
. [Edited 6/3/05 22:21pm] | |
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AsianBoi777 said:
Age: (a lady never reveals her secrets) Name: Althom Although my photograph looks deceivingly like a gorgeous blond bombshell, I’m really a man dressed in drag. No, I’m not transgender in the sense that it is an urge I can’t help—I actually dislike dressing up in women’s clothing. But it allows me access into women’s locker rooms where I can finally see naked women, since Adult porn sites are locked on my computer at home because my parents have a filter on the family computer. One day, I should hope to move out of their house. My favorite time of the year is winter. I actually hate the cold, but when it’s warm, dressing in drag can be quite cumbersome—If you don’t believe me, take of wiff of balls in pantyhose after a hot summer day.
I tried to warn him!!! | |
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 | |
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oh no! | |
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althom said: How pretty are you ...woo hoo | |
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"ROTFMAO" - is that Italian? | |
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ReturnOfDOOK said: "ROTFMAO" - is that Italian?
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althom said:
U started it. | |
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AsianBoi777 said: althom said:
U started it. ROTFMAO | |
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Fauxie said: Do me! Do me!
I just now understood your request.
I'll do one tommorow for you. Too tired right now. I rode the Shie Kra 5 times today. I'm sick! | |
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AsianBoi777 said: Fauxie said: Do me! Do me!
I just now understood your request.
I'll do one tommorow for you. Too tired right now. I rode the Shie Kra 5 times today. I'm sick! ROTFMAO | |
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althom said:
Age: 30 Height: 5'11" Weight: 185 Occupation: Unemployed Number of sexual partners: 0 Last date: Never Location: Forgot Seeking: A good-looking, intelligent woman who can overlook my physical shortcomings and teach me about love. Please hurry. I am a thirty-year-old virgin on the verge of giving up on love. When I do have a job, it's low paying, and credit consolidators take half of what I earn. I'm behind on my rent, emotionally closed, and take medication to treat my depression. I'm short, not that attractive, a little fat, and have a very small penis. I also have a problem with excessive farting. I studied mathematics in college but still live under the delusional hope of becoming an actor. oh geez. | |
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Ocean said: Fauxie said: Do me! Do me!
Tart!!!!
"..My work is personal, I'm a working person, I put in work, I work with purpose.." | |
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althom said:
Age: 30 Height: 5'11" Weight: 185 Occupation: Unemployed Number of sexual partners: 0 Last date: Never Location: Forgot Seeking: A good-looking, intelligent woman who can overlook my physical shortcomings and teach me about love. Please hurry. I am a thirty-year-old virgin on the verge of giving up on love. When I do have a job, it's low paying, and credit consolidators take half of what I earn. I'm behind on my rent, emotionally closed, and take medication to treat my depression. I'm short, not that attractive, a little fat, and have a very small penis. I also have a problem with excessive farting. I studied mathematics in college but still live under the delusional hope of becoming an actor. "I saw a woman with major Hammer pants on the subway a few weeks ago and totally thought of you." - sextonseven | |
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althom said:
Age: 30 Height: 5'11" Weight: 185 Occupation: Unemployed Number of sexual partners: 0 Last date: Never Location: Forgot Seeking: A good-looking, intelligent woman who can overlook my physical shortcomings and teach me about love. Please hurry. I am a thirty-year-old virgin on the verge of giving up on love. When I do have a job, it's low paying, and credit consolidators take half of what I earn. I'm behind on my rent, emotionally closed, and take medication to treat my depression. I'm short, not that attractive, a little fat, and have a very small penis. I also have a problem with excessive farting. I studied mathematics in college but still live under the delusional hope of becoming an actor. | |
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althom said:
Age: 30 Height: 5'11" Weight: 185 Occupation: Unemployed Number of sexual partners: 0 Last date: Never Location: Forgot Seeking: A good-looking, intelligent woman who can overlook my physical shortcomings and teach me about love. Please hurry. I am a thirty-year-old virgin on the verge of giving up on love. When I do have a job, it's low paying, and credit consolidators take half of what I earn. I'm behind on my rent, emotionally closed, and take medication to treat my depression. I'm short, not that attractive, a little fat, and have a very small penis. I also have a problem with excessive farting. I studied mathematics in college but still live under the delusional hope of becoming an actor. | |
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It's not THAT funny people!  | |
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althom said:
Age: 30 Height: 5'11" Weight: 185 Occupation: Unemployed Number of sexual partners: 0 Last date: Never Location: Forgot Seeking: A good-looking, intelligent woman who can overlook my physical shortcomings and teach me about love. Please hurry. I am a thirty-year-old virgin on the verge of giving up on love. When I do have a job, it's low paying, and credit consolidators take half of what I earn. I'm behind on my rent, emotionally closed, and take medication to treat my depression. I'm short, not that attractive, a little fat, and have a very small penis. I also have a problem with excessive farting. I studied mathematics in college but still live under the delusional hope of becoming an actor. Oh shit! How did I miss that!?
"..My work is personal, I'm a working person, I put in work, I work with purpose.." | |
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