How we can keep "a healthy level of insanity" ...


At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a> hairdryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.


Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise
your voice.


Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if
they want chips with it.


Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN".


Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once
everyone has got over their caffeine addictions,
switch to espresso.


Reply to everything someone says with "That's what
you think."


Finish all your sentences with "...in accordance
with the prophecy".


Dont use any punctuation


Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't
rhyme.


Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them
what you're doing at every moment of the day. For
example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the
bathroom."


Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess".


When the money comes out of the cashpoint, scream "I
won! I won! Third time this week!!!"


Tell your children over dinner "Due to the economy,
we are going to have to let one of you go."


Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically
after they answer.


Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't
attend their party because you're not in the mood.


Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling
name, Rock Hard Kim.


In the memo field of all your checks, write "for
sexual favours".


Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a
tape of jungle sounds all day.


Sing along at the opera.


Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".


When leaving the zoo, start running towards the
parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're
loose!!"

Abbie said:

i'll let you know how it goes!








Murdock messed it up fool! edit
[Edited 6/5/05 8:39am]

Reply to everything someone says with "That's what
you think."

i did this at a school board meeting last yr ...until i started cracking up

lol the intercom thang reminds me of the time me and this guy I work with... we would work late at night when no managers were around. We would put the pa on and make a whole shit load of crazy wild noises acting like we had no idea the intercom was on. Then at the end wed be like oh man! did you hear that? Turn it off. I suppose the rest of the store was just as amused because what isn't funny about sexual meat in the store roflmao! Ain't nothing better than getting paid for 8 hours of nothing but fucking around.

Mach said:

StaticDeth said:

MrTee said:

are we having fun yet?

the mosquito net one reminds me of Gareth from "The Office", i can imagine him in there practising his TA moves

You got these from Craig Charles - The Log, of that red dwarf thing ey

















Or didnt you

AzurePanther said:

erm, no, theres Americanisms in there so dont think it'd be from Red Dwarf- though i am a huge fan of it, i have series 1-5 on DVD plus the Smeg Ups!!






i actually pinched it from a website called Angry Harry.....and boy does he have some issues!


[Edited 6/5/05 11:22am]

Ok well i'll add some anyway:

Lend your car to a friend and then report it as stolen for a laugh

Write 'X equals buried treasure' all over someone's road maps

Always pay for everything in five-pence pieces

If you're going to a party, colect a bunch of winos, take them with you, tell the host they are a hot new band and leave them there

Phone a tabloid newspaper and make an appointment to show them photographs of their editor in bed with two transvestites. Phone back soon after and cancel the appointment, saying you've accepted a very generous offer from their main rivals

Go to a public demonstration of faith healing, get up on stage and tell the guy you're deaf. When he lays on the hands to heal you, scream and blunder around the stage saying you've gone blind as well. If he grabs you again, collapse and say you've lost the use of you're legs

If you're on a jury, catch the defendant's eye. grin and draw your finger across your throat

If someone dials a wrong number and calls you by mistake, have a long discussion with the caller about the person they ask fo, saying how worried you are about their 'little problem' and how you hope you can keep the police out of it. If the caller thinks you're a restaurant and wants to order a takeaway. take the order.

If you meet a fascist bigot who goes on and on about the homelles, and how they should pull themselves together and get jobs, simply burn his house down while he's playing golf and see how he likes it

When no one's looking, move the throwing line back a foot in a serious darts pub. Then, sit back and take the mockey out of all the players for being so useless. (Tip: wear dart-proof clothes)

Sit on a bus or train with an unlit cigarette in your mouth and a lighter in your hand for the whoel journey. See how many officials and fellow passengers you can get to point out the NO SMOKING signs while you point out that you're not, infact, smoking.

Stand by a zebra crossing and everytime a car stops, walk off.

Make up insulting acronyms for all your friends' names and tell them. PAT could stand for Pompous Arrogant Twat; JOHN could be Jerk Off Horrible Nose; Del Drives Everyone Loopy....the possibilities are endless

Go round knocking on people's doors asking them if they're happy with their washing powder.

Slip a handful of banana-flaoured condoms into a married friend's jacket pocket

Abbie said:

Oooooo

























K

AzurePanther said:

heh heh, i like this!

AzurePanther said:

If you're going to a party, colect a bunch of winos, take them with you, tell the host they are a hot new band and leave them there

thats a classic - i did that once!!!

senik said:

purplepants said:

No way- excellent!

i like this one. this one i might try:lol:

Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise
your voice.


and this one
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if
they want chips with it.

Brilliant! I have to give some of these a go.

Probably wouldn't work in Thailand, especially the zebra crossing one since nobody ever stops anyway. Zebra crossings here are like special zones where you get bonus points the more people you run down.


I do zoom around with my trolley at the supermarket, slaloming aroung the special offer aisles. That's enough to turn heads here. My brother in law and I have a weird game of shouting 'yaaaaay' like a child when we go to the post office too. That gets some priceless reactions.

Yaaaaay!
[Edited 6/6/05 8:07am]