ok, so, you take a kid who's pretty bright, and stick him in with some kids that are all messed up (bad grades, messed up language, getting in trouble all the time) and have them hang out for a few years...

will the kid end up acting more like the people he hangs out with ?? or continue to strive to be the best he can be ??

depends on the kids age and how comfortable he is around these other kids!

klhk said:

ok, fair answer..

the kid is pre-teen, and these are the kind of kid thats available for them to play with and who they go to school with.

depends on loads of things - mainly the child himself.

every bright kid is different in the same way that every kid is different.

It depends on how easily brain washed the kid is. How important what others think of him/her is... or even how intimidateted they may be.

nakedpianoplayer said:

No child is bad from the beginning, they only immitate their atmosphere

Frog used to be bright but look at him now!

StaticDeth said:

thats a good answer too.

but, im really saying is the behavior something that they will pick up without really knowing that they are acting different - you know, since they are around it all the time ?

AzurePanther said:

thats what im thinkin !

2the9s said:

Somebody give 9s a lobotomy, PLEASE

They might fuck up for a while, but a truly bright kid will get bored and move on especially if given the right guidance.

PREDOMINANT said:

this is true, guidance has so much to do with this situation

i know its only a movie... but i keep thinking about 'boys in the hood' as an example. ya know how tre turned out at the end ???

Nah i honestly think it depends on the kids morals and upbringing, not that he'd be able to judge too well at such a young age....but you never know what people he might meet in the future and decide that being bright is cool

StaticDeth said:

The dummy is right.

klhk said:

Hey that's pretty cute how you can call me a dummy.Should I run to the mods? When you left the chat.. did you cry? I told you I wouldn't be banned cause just like everybody in the chat felt I did nothing wrong. Just tried to help a fellow orger stalker out. Such a pitty.Although scratch that I am not going to ruin Nancys thread because your immature so you will get no more responses from me after this.I'll leave you to be with yourself.
[Edited 5/23/05 7:47am]

2the9s said:

I agree.

gemini13 said:

good for you.

My brother was that middle class kid who was surrounded by those whose values and morals were different from our family. He is still phucked up to this day because it was important for him to fit in and he really didn't know what he wanted or who he was. He ended up being the stupid fall guy for people who pretended to be his friends and is still confused about self worth and those who really care. He at 51 years old is still in and out of jail for making stupid choices.

I grew up in that same neighborhood under the same basic circumstances and turned out totally different because I knew myself, what I wanted and was strong enough to know that if people really cared about you they will accept you for who you are, not who they want you to be.

I tell my kids all the time "A true friend will not ask you to do anything they know you will get you ass beat about."

It truly depends on the kid...as a parent though we have to instill in our babies that "our rules are our rules and don't change because you leave the house" Also, we need to encourage them to be strong minded and to be able to make decisions based on personal integrity and not "go along with the crowd" unless that is the way they want to go in the first place

nakedpianoplayer said:

ok a 1st grader

a 5th grader ...8th 11th ??

a strong personality, a meek one ?

a leader ..a follower

to general of a statement to really consider and it REALLY depends on the moment in time ...

no matter how much you think or plan it out ... NO ONE would know until it was over

butterfli25 said:

this is exactly what im afraid of

if you put a kid in an environment that makes doing the shit that your parents warn you against 'cool'... i think it puts so much stress on the kid that they dont need.


ya know, as a parent, im just putting it out there for all the younger orgers that dont have kids, look back at all the crazy shit your folks did, and listen to what im saying right now - SOMETIMES IT SUCKS BEING A PARENT ! seriously, all these damn 'what ifs' i know none of us are perfect parents, and i dont want to be perfect, i just want to make sure i do whats best for my kids everyday - and keep what i have control over in check

the i love you's are great, the artwork on my frige is lovely, the hugs and kisses are priceless, but shit !! these decisions are the ones that keep me up all night worrying - i think im going crazy
[Edited 5/23/05 12:55pm]

Mach said:

i actually have what will be next year a....

2nd grader, more of a follower, loud and bossy, yet easily led in the wrong direction, and not much fear of mom i have my hands full with this one... she may be quicker to follow along with a stupid idea and just deal with the punishment after shes had her fun - so having her around this shit is not a good idea.

and a ....

5th grader, much more of a leader, quiet and reserved for the most part, much more difficult to lead in the wrong direction, and a lot of what i cant decide is fear or respect for mom (although whatever it is, its working right now ) this one is a bit easier to deal with, however, i DONT want him to pick up horrible ideas from those around him !

nakedpianoplayer said:

okay... so you are concerned about all this because what ? the local peer groups suck ? or the school ...or ??

Mach said:

i came home today, and the police were at my house - looking for my son seems he saw a kid here tearing up some property, or at least they thought they saw him.... he wasnt there, so he wasnt much help to the police

but with the lady next door and the pot thing..... and then that same boy the cops were looking for called my son the 'n' word yesterday... there is a bunch of kids that are walking over to the store and stealing.... then the distruction of property sometimes i just get to thinking that i need to move my babies someplace where they will be 'safer' .... ya know ???

but, then, i get to realize that they are just as safe here as anywhere else and that even if i lived in the richest area, i would still have to be on the lookout for problem kids and stuff that i dont want my babies to get into

i guess this is really just another step in both their growing up, and myself as well - this is the next chapter in parenthood, its called, 'so your out here now, what are you gonna do ?' lets hope that they know i have their back if they need me, but i also have their ass if they mess up !

im still voting for mothers day at least 6 times a year we need more days to relax and be pampered for all this work we do all year long

Remember that as a parent you can only take them so far on the journey and they have to go the rest of the way on their own.

The things that we have to deal with as parents are numerous and sometimes so so so difficult. I think that your kids know you by now, they know you will support them but not uphold them when they are wrong. That said mistakes will be made, don't expect perfection in any situation from any of you. That standard is unreasonable, for all involved. You will make mistakes, you will miss some stuff, they will make mistakes too. But there will be times when the love and support you provide will come shining through.

Your son has a unique situation, others will assume things about him because of what he looks like, you have to acknowledge this and educate him about it. Expectations are high for him, he will have the views of others forced on him based on their perceptions of who he is. So educate him, create in him a strength by allowing him to trust himself, love himself and set goals for himself. He has to love himself to be strong. He will make it he already is on the right road, you just have to prepare him for the challenges that face him.

As for little mama, I have a feeling she is a lot like YOU. She will do things that you may not like but I suspect it will be on her terms. Teach her to love herself, to listen to herself and to trust herself, and then lay down the law and set realistic consequences for decisions that she make that are not in line with your rules. He road is much different from her brother, but her age is an asset for now. Bossy is good at this age she will come out at the top of the heap. Remeber that elementary school social circles are different now, she already is experiencing peer pressure. Let her determine where she wants to be in the group and strengthen her with your love, words, and life experiences.

butterfli25 said:

I LOVE YOU GIRL !!!!!

tell me, why is it cant you live next door again ????







thanks so much for being there with your sweet words... you know how it is - being a momma you always second guess your steps along the way but, i think youre right, they are on a fantastic journey and if they stay the sweet, loving people they are now - they will make it in this crazy thing we call life.

thanks sweetie

how far is FT Riley from you again?

FT Leonard Wood?