so heres the deal...

my daughter has a friend here that lives not far from us (just a few doors down)... anyway, she is a neat little girl, and i have no problems with the two of them hanging out together. the other day, i was over at their house for the first 'real' length of time and the mother did something that shocked me... WITH the kids in the house, she started rolling AND smoking a joint

so, heres my question...

i like freaked out and said, 'wtf are you doing ??? girl, the kids are right upstairs, wont they freak ???'

to which her answer was, 'oh girl, i have told them i smoke, they're fine with it.'





alright look, back in the day, i smoked my ass off... but that stopped when i had babies. and now im not sure what to do with my daughter. we talked about it tonight - as i have already talked with my son about it - and she told me she KNOWS the mother is smoking pot

so, i made a new rule at my house in effect immediately.... my children are not allowed to go inside anyone's house ! i cant tell my daughter that its because her mom smokes pot, and i cant only do it to my daughter, so now noone gets to do it !!!! needless to say, im not real popular right now with my kids... but, i guess thats what being a momma is all about huh ?


do you think its ok to smoke in front of children ??? or, maybe if you think its ok to smoke in front of your own, do you think its ok to smoke in front of someone elses ?????

people these days really fuck with your head huh ??? i mean, shit, how the hell are you gonna keep your kid off drugs if they are WATCHING you smoke in front of them ?????

first





now i will read ur post

twistedlemon said:

do you think its ok to smoke in front of children ??? wtf is that all about hell no...


or, maybe if you think its ok to smoke in front of your own, do you think its ok to smoke in front of someone elses ????? hell no

people these days really fuck with your head huh ??? hell yess


i mean, shit, how the hell are you gonna keep your kid off drugs if they are WATCHING you smoke in front of them ????? I haven't a clue I say we lock her up

Tell her exactly why she can't go to that girl's house! That what that woman is doing is illegal, and dangerous for your kid.

twistedlemon said:

alrighty then, i guess im not wrong in thinking this is crazy

yea and say shes a prostitute

bluesbaby said:

see, and i would love to do that, but girl... you KNOW my daughter, she would be all about throwing that in this little girls face and im not trying to make the girl feel bad. or worse yet, piss of my neighbor so that we have to argue about it.

in my opinion though, if she (my daughter) is there, and they are smoking, and somehow the cops come... dont i stand some sort of chance of having something bad happen ??? ya know what i mean ??? like, i knew they were doing that there and still let her go... ??


its just not worth it to me the kids will just have to be pissy with me for a while, they'll get over it

plus, im FUN to hang around

nakedpianoplayer said:

Don't take this wrong, but moms are only fun to hang around to a certain extent. They need to be out there, and learn. Your girl may say something, but if you word it in such a way that "I don't agree with some of what they do, so you need to respect your friend, and not rub her face in it...". She can learn this is not about making fun of someone else, but of YOUR request that she comes home if something is happening.

twistedlemon said:

are you saying all smoking or just pot smoking, because both are bad for kids.

bluesbaby said:

yeah, but bri is at the age that she would stay there.

i cant really trust her to walk away from a good time just because mom said that she needed to, plus, i dont want her to feel like shes in charge of watching over the adults

i think for now its just a good idea to keep her here.

or, better yet, how about i just go to the mother and say something like 'hey, i understand that you told your kids all about your using pot, and that they are comfortable with it... however, i am not. bri will no longer be allowed to come here if you are smoking in front of her, please send her home if you are going to be smoking.'



damn, i sound kinda mean

nakedpianoplayer said:

that isn't mean! damn you are her mother, you have a right to at least request that, and I don't think its an unreasonable request. say it!

bluesbaby said:

i thought i made it pretty clear i was talking about drug use.

bluesbaby said:

noticing a lot of !'s in your post....

you ok over there ?

nakedpianoplayer said:

yeah, I am good didn't mean to skerrr ya.

bluesbaby said:

k

cuz, maybe what i should do is send you and your hubby over there you guys can claim to be aunt and uncles and you can set her straight

nakedpianoplayer said:

I am at a point in life where I have no tolerance for that stupid crap.
She is endangering herself and her children.

maybe shes a prostitute

Guess I'm in the minority opinion here, because I don't actually see anything wrong with it. I grew up around adults who regularly smoked pot in front of their kids (that'd be my dad and a lot of my parent's friends) and I turned out alright. My opinion might change if I had kids myself, but I doubt it. You're entitled to do whatever you feel's best for your kids though.

Yes, marijuana is illegal, but IMO it shouldn't be. Unfortunately, we're dealing with lawmakers and enforcers who like to pretend that caffeine, nicotine and alcohol use don't cause any damage, and are therefore okay for consumption and fantastic moneymakers to boot, but not marijuana. Not to say that pot isn't without unpleasant side-effects either, but if you were to look into the statistics, there's more injury and death attributed to alcohol and even caffeine abuse than THC. I know I can function normally after a joint or two, (BC Bud, even! Strong shit, that.) but even the amount of caffeine in plain tea fucks me up for the whole day.

It's also true that the money dealers make off selling weed often goes to fund higher organized crime, but there's a simple solution to that. Make marijuana legal, at least in small amounts. If it was legal to have a plant or two with a grow light stashed in your closet, you wouldn't need to go to a dealer, and none of your hard earned cash is going towards the real criminals out there.


Just my
[Edited 5/16/05 2:30am]

meow85 said:

No mind altering drug should be legal.
[Edited 5/16/05 3:06am]

I think that she shouldn't be seeing that happening at such a young age and as her mother you have every right to look after her as you see fit. Kids learn by example and if she is seeing an adult smoking pot then she may think its ok to do it because her friends mum does it. I think you have every right to try to prevent your child from being in that environment - even if its only to prevent her from passively smoking it!!! If you don't want her going over there, then I think you should be entirely truthful with her otherwise she may think that it is something that she has done. Maybe you can explain that you don't agree with it but that it isn't her friends fault and not to rub her face in it.

P.S. Sometimes mommies have to be the enemy

LolaM said:

I used to smoke loads of weed. Its a total waste of time. I know if ur streesed or whatever it may be good, but I dont accept that excuse anymore. Too much can do damage. Maybe not physically, but mentally u become dependant on it.

I canot stand the smell of it anymore. It reminds me of my past I want to forget. If ur stressed, here some music, dance, go out clubbing? But this is not the arguement here so sorry.

thesexofit said:

Unfortunately some people do not have the clarity of mind to see alternatives to using drugs, alcohol, etc. as a way of dealing with their problems.

LolaM said:

...and some people are still too narrow minded to see that drugs are sometimes nothing to do with weak people trying to hide from their problems, sometimes they are just fun to do.


I am not advocating drugs at all, I think they are a Bad Thing, generally speaking, but stereotyping drugs and drug use helps no one.


As for my two cents, I think smoking in front of the kids is a bad example. When they are old enough to understand the issues, frank and open debate is healthy, but until then, keep them away from that stuff.

Slash said:

Our 2 oldest children

their biological mother smoked pot in front of them all their lives ...


they are non smoking, non drug using happy and productive adults

Other than the fact that it's illegal, is it really any different from drinking a few glasses of wine in front of your kids? Lots of people do that and no one thinks there's anything wrong with that.

Of course you have the right to disagree with this lady, but I think it is better to talk with her directly. It's an adult-question, I mean you clearly want to keep your daughter away from this lady, well then talk to this lady herself, instead of risking a misunderstanding between the two girls. Their friendship has nothing to do with one of the mothers smoking pot and the other one disagreeing with them.

If my mother would have prevented me seeing certain kids at an earlier age, I guess I wouldn't have the same friends as I have now. Some were smoking cigarettes, other were drinking, my mum's has been kind of drunk in front of me as well...

I don't know how I would react as a mum. I guess I would rather have a mother smoke pot than taking the kids to Mac Donald's. When you smoke pot you're doing it yourself (although I know there is something like passive smoking), when you give them the horrible MacDonald's food for example, you're feeding them with something that is bairly food.

For me, it's kind of hard to draw strict lines between drinking, smoking, smoking pot, eating MacDonalds, watching stupid television-shows, not cooking properly when your kids are around...

Here is the point.. Everyone who is saying its cool is talking bout their own parents or children.. What you do in your house is YOUR business right, fine, but when YOU do your shit in front of SOMEBODY ELSE'S KIDS that is where I draw the line. She does not have the right to EXPOSE YOUR kid to her drugs or anything else that you might not approve of. If she wants to spark up with her kids in the house cool, but don't do it in front of someone elses' without lettin' the parent know how you get down.

So what I would do is take it straight to the parent. Tell her you don't smoke & if you did, you would'nt smoke in front of your kid. So if she has your kid over could you please refrain from the reefer smoking till she leaves. If Mom gets pissed you could make sure that your kids does not come in her house! Make sure you let her know that you will talk to your daughter if you both decided that that womans house is not the place to be!

As far as your fear that your daughter will make her friend feel bad....Who the fuck cares, Mom sure didn't mind, or didn't give a fuck, when she sparked up in front of you. That is just the price she has to pay for making her habit public.

I wouldn't worry about the girl feeling bad tho.. most dumbass kids would think it is cool that their mom (or their friends mom) smokes pot! Not all but some..

YOU are the parent that is YOUR child, END OF STORY!

I'm NOT passing judgement on anyone who does smoke pot I'm just taking your feelings and giving my suggestion
[Edited 5/16/05 6:30am]

I agree, I wouldn't let my child play at that house either. BUT - I would let her know exactly why, how to behave around the other child, that the other child may now come to our house to play so they can remain friends, etc. Witholding info from your kids (the old, because I'm your parent and I say so) is silly. And potentially damaging. I HATED when my parents said that to me. Kids have a greater capacity for understanding then we usually give them credit for. If my parents had to resort to that kind of logic, I would lose respect for them, cause they couldn't even tell me WHY something was bad or not allowed or what have you.
And I certainly wouldn't suddenly not let my child go ANYWHERE. I would just make sure I met the parents first before allowing my child to spend time at someone else's house.
Of course, I don't have any kids, and likely won't ever have any.