I was recently on an interview and the doctor/owner of the research company asked me if I had any children. First off, let me say that here in Florida, they are not supposed to ask you that during an interview. Due to the Equal Oppurtunity Employment laws. Though every interview I have ever been on, they have asked that same question... I always answer since I have nothing to hide.
So, here I was being asked the same question and answering her the same way as I aways have, I got a very different response from her though.
I told her that my husband & I did not want any children and were not planning on having any. As soon as I said that she said, very loudly, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!???"
She then asked how old I was and I told her 33, almost 34. She said that is alright if I am strong enough to over power my biological and natural human instinct to procreate.
Huh, I was slightly taken a back by her comments and the way she conveyed them.
Needless to say, the company ended up hiring me, probably because the other owner that interviewed me first did not feel that was a legitimate reason not to hire a qualified applicant.
I had to spend the day with the obnoxious doctor and I listened to her with the study participants. I realize that she is brash and loud by nature and maybe it was nothing personal.

So, I thought I would ask some ppl that I obviously have more in common with then my new boss.
Do you think there is something "WRONG" with a person that does not want to have children??

There is NOTHING wrong with you!! I don't want children either, I'm fine without them. I have been asked that very same question though, followed by the comment "what a sad person you are." Some people, mostly women, can't seem to deal with the fact that some people/other women don't want to procreate.

You stay the way you are, keep your head high!

that is horrible that she would say that to u. there is nothing wrong with not wanting children!

i woulda slapped the shit outta that heffa. no, there is absolutely nothing wrong with not havin/wantin children; i don't have the desire to have any either. it doesn't mean that i'm some alien with 5 heads...same goes for you. fuck 'em if they're not on the same page/planet.

NOTHING WRONG AT ALL.

Highly inappropriate response from the doctor -- in any circumstance, much less any interview. Jeesh!

I think some people who don't want to have kids feel like they should, so they do it. That is wrong. Childcare and rearing is so important that it's not something to be entered into lightly. We don't need more bodies, especially ones that aren't gonna be loved.

Im 37 with no kids, it just makes people think Im gay, not that there anything wrong with that, but Im straight

I would have asked her...What is wrong with you?

There's nothing wrong with it. When I go back home to visit my parents,people from my church always ask why I dont have kids.
I dont have a desire to make any babies. I like the lil buggers but I dont see myself raising children. It's not a crime
[Edited 5/21/05 13:10pm]

There may be something wrong.
But I won't hold it against you.



Signed,
Mother F'er

Fleshofmyflesh said:

Would U care 2 elaborate??

Thanks for replying Threadcula,4nowneway,madartista,hansdclapfingasnapz, theduck & teacher. I feel better knowing I am not alone in my feelings towards not having kids.

I do not think you should have them if you truly do not want them.
Call me selfish but I think that ppl that have them only 2 fulfill their lives and have someone else to live through is SELFISH...

shanti0608 said:

Look, you had 6 people tell you there is nothing wrong.
That should be affirmation.

I'm just saying I can't go with them and say NOTHING IS WRONG.
There may be something wrong. Only you know that.
I don't know you, but maybe something in your childhood gives rise to the feelings you are having. Some people who sware off children have very deep seeded reasons for doing so. Maybe you don't.
That's why I said there MAY be something wrong.

shanti0608 said:

And on that note, I know I speak for all parents when I say there is nothing selfish about wanting a child. You only have to have one to know that SELF becomes obsolete.

Fleshofmyflesh said:

Thanks for explaining.

Fleshofmyflesh said:

I was not saying that all parents are selfish, though I have met some who had children only for selfish reasons.
I have also had women tell me that I am smart for not having them when I know I do not truly want one for the right reasons.

I have met women who had children because they were lonely and they thought a child would fill that void- Good luck to them!

shanti0608 said:

Thank you for listening and not thinking I was trying to attack you.
[Edited 5/21/05 15:39pm]
[Edited 5/21/05 15:40pm]

Maybe the good cop/bad cop interviews were just to make sure they weren't hiring you and you were telling them 2 months later you were pregnant and you needed:

paid time off for antenatal care first

maternity leave later...

You know some employers don't like that.

PANDURITO said:

Which is why they shouldn't be asking that question to begin with...

CarrieMpls said:

1 800 LAW YERS

Not if they don't hire her

Fleshofmyflesh said:

No problem, I just do not like to assume what someone is trying to say...

i dont want kids
i have no maternal instinct at all
i find the thought of having any scary

I would have told her it's illegal to ask that question. I still would report her ass. If you don't want kids, don't feel bad. I have three and I still don't want any.

Raine said:

I used to be very anti-baby, at least for myself, except maybe one or twice I'd have weird hormonal weeks where I just WANTED one even though rationally, I really, really didn't. The older I get, the more I think "never say never"...

PANDURITO said:

No, that was not it actually. I spoke with the girl that I work with and they asked her the same question. She has worked for them for about 6 months. She said when they asked her she said that she was planning on having a kid someday but she was only 28 yrs old and she just got married. They told her if she gets pregnant they would look into getting her space in the office to bring the baby if she needed it. She is full time and full benefits...
Besides, I was being hired for part time & no benefits, no vacation, sick or any of that.
It was obvious she would have been happier if I said that I already had kids or was planning on having one.
They also asked the girl I work with where her mom lives that way to make sure she would not be moving closer to her mom once she did have a baby..
Hard to believe that I could have been discriminated against because I DO NOT want children.
This world is getting so messed up!!

Raine said:

I hear ya!!
I have plenty of instincts but none of them involve wanting a kid.

TheOrgerFormerlyKnownAs said:

Thanks for making me laugh, I needed that!

shanti0608 said:

You're welcome. and if you ever change your mind and decide to have kids....I'll send mine to your house to change it back.

TheOrgerFormerlyKnownAs said:

Thanks!

shanti0608 said:

Just kidding. I'll send them and you can keep them. :-0

TheOrgerFormerlyKnownAs said: