LolaM said:

You can. I never was in this situation as a kid, and my parents hardly know anything about drugs. They never smoked a cigarette, let alone a joint.

So it's a guess. I did go to a house as a kid where the father was walking around naked. My parents found this a bit strange, and asked me to tell them if this was bothering me. I talked to the girl instead (I was ten at that time) and she asked her father to stop this. He did.

As for the weed-question, I guess my parents would find this very weird, but they would leave it up to me to react in the first place. So many beautiful friends of me have fucked up parents, in one way or another.

As do I, in a way that they were always fighting in front of other people. This is no drug, but certainly something that was embarrassing and harmful.

I truly think your have the right to react as a mother, but you can't judge the kid for its parents. Children will be confronted with pot, sex, violence, cigarettes, alcohol no matter what. Sometimes these things pop up a bit earlier that you expected as a parent. You have the right to react as a parent, but it may not disturb the friendship between the kids.

I think what I would try to do is to inform them the best I could. If my kid would feel uncomfortable I would try to talk with my kid and with the parents. But I do assume it is rather hard to discuss issues like that in a discrete manner.

(btw this naked father totally flipped out when I explained to my friend what a blow-job was. I was ten, I knew what it was and she asked me about it. My parents supported me, her parents found me a freak )

It's all a question of where you put the stress.

You can. I never was in this situation as a kid, and my parents hardly know anything about drugs. They never smoked a cigarette, let alone a joint.

So it's a guess. I did go to a house as a kid where the father was walking around naked. My parents found this a bit strange, and asked me to tell them if this was bothering me. I talked to the girl instead (I was ten at that time) and she asked her father to stop this. He did.

.

tell them to move to Amsterdam.

abierman said:

Abierman, do you think drugs (such as pot) and alcohol are in the same class?? This is not an attack just a question.

LolaM said:

first this:

eventhough I grew up & live in Amsterdam, I do not smoke pot! Sure, when I was younger I experimented with it, just like almost every dutch kid has. Pot (or any other 'drug')just doesn't do it for me, it introverts me while I like being extravert. Fact is though that alcohol is a harder drug than the occasional reefer. Alcohol makes you lose control over your body.

To me they are not the same, alcohol disorders you physically, pot makes you think slower but you stay clear in the head!
But wait, I am not encouraging anyone to do either in front of kids.

I prefer to have a drink, but the danger is just around the corner! And that danger is more dangerous than the occasional high from a joint!

LolaM said:

first this:

eventhough I grew up & live in Amsterdam, I do not smoke pot! Sure, when I was younger I experimented with it, just like almost every dutch kid has. Pot (or any other 'drug')just doesn't do it for me, it introverts me while I like being extravert. Fact is though that alcohol is a harder drug than the occasional reefer. Alcohol makes you lose control over your body.

To me they are not the same, alcohol disorders you physically, pot makes you think slower but you stay clear in the head!
But wait, I am not encouraging anyone to do either in front of kids.

I prefer to have a drink, but the danger is just around the corner! And that danger is more dangerous than the occasional high from a joint!

I think you've never smoked enough pot.

see, thats what we BELIEVE when we smoke pot we think that it doesnt really change us much and that we are the 'same' just feeling better and more relaxed.... hell, i thought the same thing back in the day !!

have you ever walked in on someone that was completely stoned and you werent high at all ??? have you looked in their eyes and realized that they just werent there ??? pot changes your mental state, theres no way to get around that - its just the truth. and if you are not clear upstairs, then you are not only thinking slower, your reaction time is slower, your physical ability is not the same, and your thinking is not the same.

Um try not to take this the wrong way...but what the fuck do you care what this woman thinks? Or your child for that matter? You are the parent, you know that what's going on is wrong and YOU enforce the rules! When I was growing up if my mother said I wasn't doing something then I didn't do it! No questions asked! This woman obviously has no right being a parent or having other people's children in her house. She sees no problem with doing drugs while children are coming in and out so what do you care what she thinks?

nakedpianoplayer said:

I understand what you are saying and I agree to a certain extend....you shouldn't smoke pot when you mentally unstable or depressed. Believe me, I have enough experience to know.

nakedpianoplayer said:

I understand what you are saying and I agree to a certain extend....you shouldn't smoke pot when you mentally unstable or depressed. Believe me, I have enough experience to know.

CarrieLee said:

And there you have it.. it seems You (the mother of the 7 year old) and the Pot smoking Momma both have the same problem. You both want to have your cake and eat it too.

Pot smoking Momma can't spark up IN FRONT of you, upstair, (when the kiddies are downstairs), and then get pissed cause the little girl "exposed" her so called secret, she sure as hell didn't give a damn when she flicked her bic in front of you now did she....hmm

And you want to enforce your personal rules & ethics, yet be popular in your 'hood... sorry but that aint gonna happen.

Both of y'all need to act like grown ass women. Mean what you say and say what you mean. No need for cat fights, she likes to smoke you don't.. end of story.

This isn't a passing judgement thing at all... It's a preference in the way you raise your kids.

Now her getting all in a hissy fit 'cause she was exposed is bullshit, she must have took you to be another type of person (just like you thought she was all religious). Let that be a lesson to both of you about assumptions. She should THANK YOU that you are not the report to the police/DCF type of gal who could have put her ass in HOT water.

You need to get to know someone before you expose you kids or personal habits to them. Let that be a lesson for us all.. I know it is for me, and if nothing else I THANK you for that!!

Nammie
[Edited 5/17/05 8:11am]

To me they are not the same, alcohol disorders you physically, pot makes you think slower but you stay clear in the head!
But wait, I am not encouraging anyone to do either in front of kids.

abierman said:

But that's exactly the reason why some people use drugs regularly. It's like self-medication.
[Edited 5/17/05 8:12am]

JoeyMFinCoco said:

AMEN !

that's admitting you're weak. I know I'm stable, although I do stupid things as well, but I know my state of mind is healthy. I know people like me who use drugs regularly, they like the game of control. And it is possible. I am just not tempted. I can medicate myself without the help of drugs or alcohol. My ....

abierman said:

I didn't say it's what I'm doing. Didn't say it was a smart thing to do either.

muirdo said:

people without.....talk shit when they're not asked!

well lovely... just lovely...

my daughter came home, went to go get her friend to play outside like i asked her to do last night.... 2 minutes later the freakin phone rings, its the neighbor and shes NOT pleased apparently, my lovely baby girl went over and informed her friend that she couldnt come over to her house anymore because they 'do drugs there'.

shes nobody's fool she knew last night that what we were talking about with not being in houses that have drug use going on included her friend, so she felt it her JOB to tell the girl that.

so, here we go, here i am trying to keep the peace between everyone... and she says to me, 'ummmm, bri was just here and told me she cant come to my house because i use drugs ??? i dont smoke IN FRONT of the kids - sure i may be smoking when they come in and i should put it out, sometimes i dont - but, its not like im DOING it in front of them'




someone please explain that statement to me, and while youre at it, explain how the fuck i got in this shit to begin with !!! i TRUELY dont need these type of issues in my life

nakedpianoplayer said:

That is because you neglected to have a conversation with that kids parents, and left the door wide open for your child to relay the message. Be the adult and have a mature conversation with the neighbors that make an impact on your childs development.

ok, so you think smoking pot in front of your kids is wrong?
How about drinking alcohol in front of kids? Do they ever see you drink wine, or beer or any other alcoholic drinks?

What if you lived somewhere where pot is legal. would it be ok then to smoke it in front of kids?

What if you lived somewhere where pot is legal. would it be ok then to smoke it in front of kids?

AliG said:

i've addressed this several times on this thread.

nakedpianoplayer said:

someone who is high should not supervise children. Someone who is drunk should not supervise children. someone can have a drink and not so much as buzz. Very few people smoke just for the taste and enjoyment, and don't get at least a smal buzz off it