nakedpianoplayer said:

Thanks

paintsprayer said:

Is it me or is this a contradiction?

DexMSR said:

DexMSR said:

I don't consider it a contradiction, I don't think there's anything at all wrong with pot in and of it self. I don't think someone who's high is in a position to supervise children.

noonblueapples said:

makes perfect sense to me

nakedpianoplayer said:

Um...are you reading the sentences??

I don't know exactly how old your daughter is, but if you talk to her about what pot is and what it does to you, in a perfectly honest and truthful manner, she will soon come to the conclusion that it is not her thing. Life is something to explore. I understand your concerns, especially since you lived the life...but she has to live the life as well. That is what life is all about. If we were to protect kids from the things we now know are not right,...yes,..we might as well lock 'em up...

Just make sure she knows what it is and that it is not something she should do. If she is curious and wants to try it, she will eventually. That mom is not the only encounter she will have with drugs.

I remember these rich girls at our school and they were raised in a very protected environment....and here I was, being raised by two very openminded, communicative open people (God bless them). When it was time for all of us to get to college, these girls went wild! It was like some1 released them into the "world" for the first time. I am telling you girl... they smoked pot, fucked around, got drunk every day,... it was really sad to see.

I am glad I was always able to talk about things with my parents and I wasn't kept from anything I might be curious about. Of course they were worried too at times (is what they tell me now) but they knew I would always come to them with my questions.

Your daughter knew about this mom smoking pot for a while now and she hasn't even considered trying it herself. She didn't even mention it, because she knows that she is not going to do it herself. I'd say you got a very smart daughter right there. Trust her own judgement and guide her if necessary, inform her when needed and just be there for her. She'll always come to you for advice, because she knows you won't freak out.

But then,...this is my humble opinion. Good luck!

billyjackbitch said:

girl, wow

thank you and what you say is right about the girls you went to school with, the ones that were so sheltered ? kids like that sometimes do go nuts when they get out in the 'real' world i dont want that to happen either !!

thanks again sweetie

DexMSR said:

sure am... he's saying that its not the 'pot' he has the issue with, its the watching the children stoned he has the problem with... which is basically what i've been saying all along. if this entire situation happened minus my kids, you would have never heard anything outta me.

nakedpianoplayer said:

Hey love, you're very welcome

I hope that things work out for you. Just trust the girl... she will trust you back. My dad and I have this special bond. I live on my own now, but when I do visit for a weekend, we have long conversations, sometimes even untill dawn! And he let's me (as we say it) "look inside his soul" now and then...and that is why I feel comfortable enough to let him take a peek inside my soul at times. We got to this special bond because we have always communicated. Always. Nomatter how crazy it was, I would always just tell my parents. And they would NEVER tell me what to do. They would give me their opinion, but more in a way like: "perhaps you should evaluate wether this is where you want to be". I was never pushed, I was never told to do anything when it concerned choices in my life... and whenever shit hit the fan... I could come to them... and they'd be there.

So not having kids, probably makes me a little unable to give an opinion...but having two wonderful, kind, nurturing, loving, unconditionally trusting and respectful people I am blessed to call my mom and dad... makes me able to share that with EVERYONE who is willing to listen,... and perhaps that is an advice too... in a way. Because I am sure your daughter is capable of making decisions of her own. And there is never a good or wrong decision. There are only poor choices... and you will be there to help her fix it. So if I were you, I wouldn't be the one to keep her from anything. You been there girl... if momma told you you couldn't have a cookie from the cookiejar and she'd leave the room, you'd accept your punishment, but you'd take that chance to just take one without her seeing LOL and if she hadn't mentionned that cookiejar at all, you probably wouldn't have even thought about stealing a cookie.

Kids...gotta love 'em

billyjackbitch said:

the cookie thing is sooooo true i hear what youre sayin about being open with the kids, and really i think i am as open and honest and 'here for you' as i can be with my babies. my kids dont get 'punished' a lot either, i really take each opportunity to sit down and go through the what if's with them and how this could impact their life one way or another.

two quick stories....

first, when i left town for a few days when my kids were younger, my mom kept them for me. when i returned - the woman at jake's preschool asked me if i had heard about and felt ok with what jake brought to school now, im gonna be honest here, the FIRST thing that popped in my head was oh dear god, please dont let it be anything to do with sex toys i asked what it was that he brought, waiting for a response that would just KILL me she said, well, he brought a bullet. i said, no, he didnt. she said, yes, he did. i said again, no he didnt, and i know better. i took him outside, he was all of 4 or 5 at the time, and sat him eye level to me on the wall outside. all i said was... 'you know what i wanna talk about, right ?' he looked at me and said.... 'yes', and hung his head. he asked me if he would get in trouble if he told me, i said, well, i dont know yet - but i do know one thing... if you DONT answer me honestly, then you WILL be in trouble. turns out a boy had taken it to school for show and tell, jake was peeking at what he brought (which was wrong) and the teacher came, so he tried to hide it by putting it in his pocket. i said, ok fine... we'll talk in a minute, and proceeded inside to let them know who actually brought it. then i talked to jake later that night and said ok heres the deal, if you were older, and your friend had drugs..... you were just LOOKING at it, and the cops came.... guess who's drugs they are now ????? apparently that discussion has stayed with him at least this long as he still refers to it. he never got in trouble from me, and i ended up protecting him from the folks at the school... so he knows hes safe with me and that i've got his back - i let him know he was wrong for being in the other guys stuff, but that was about it.


second... when my son and i were talking about this drug issue right now, he first said to me 'mom, thats not very responsible of her'. followed by.... 'if she didnt use drugs would she have enough money to buy a car ??' to me this shows that he is capable of looking at a situation and weighing out whether something is going to impact his life in a negative way or a positive way...



so far at least, i feel like our relationship is one that he knows he can come to me in any situation - whether hes right or wrong - and im here. my daughter is younger, but i think shes comming along and yes, i agree THAT may be the best lesson of all. as if memory serves... i needed a momma like the one im trying to be with my kids - and i am blessed to have her. she is always right there, no matter WHAT i get myself into - and dex, i know you think i post my life here, but trust me, what i write here is only a fraction .

thanks girl

nakedpianoplayer said:

Those are great stories girl I sure hope you feel better.
Things have a way of working out. Your son sounds like a very smart little boy (dunno if he is a very smart young man by now), but your daughter will have her older brother too, and sounds to me like he will have some good advice for her too! Please don't worry... I think you will all be just fine.

billyjackbitch said:

wow great story


brought tears to my eyes because I was so proud of his statement about the car. WOW



that's a special boy you have there.

butterfli25 said:

thanks sweetie, i agree

he makes me very proud....

I went to visit an old friend I had not seen in a couple years, I heard she had a baby so I went with my daughter for a visit.
Their kitchen is little, and it's the gathering place for everyone and when they smoke ciggs the smoke hangs in the air so bad you can see it. So while I'm there her mom and her older sis comes in and lights one up, I made my daughter go to the other room, which it's a strange house and she didnt' wanna go, so I left the room and sat with her. As I sat there I watched the three of them pass a joint around while their ciggs burn in the ashtray. THE WHOLE TIME, SHE IS HOLDING HER NEWBORN BABY, IN THAT SMOKY ROOM. I told them I had to go and just left with my daughter. She used to be my best friend in school. I just couldn't believe she'd do that. She's changed!!!
[Edited 5/18/05 15:39pm]

Lizzy7701 said:

thats so sad

im sorry, it sounds like a difficult position for you to find yourself and your baby in

nakedpianoplayer said:

I definitely see where your coming from. Pot, like any other substance should only be used inmoderation. Just like alcohol or even caffeine, if you're relying on it to function, you've got a problem, for sure.

I light up occasionally, but only every few weeks or so at a party or something -and even then I've been known to go to a lot of parties without drinking or smoking up and had fun. Everything in moderation.

JoeyMFinCoco said:

Going back to the fast food example: You could say the exact same thing about McDonald's, no? Any amount of that poison is going to do your body some damage.

Plus, it all tastes like crap.

paintsprayer said:

A lot of your point depends pn the strength of the drug your smoking. If it's American weed, you should be a-okay. I can't even get a buzz off that stuff, it's so weak.

meow85 said:

THERE'S A DIFFERENCE IN THE POT IN OTHER COUNTRIES ????

i was always a lightweight as far as pot went one hit MAYBE two and i was totally fucked up .. my friends were always trippin on me, i could smoke on one tiny joint for over a week and be high everyday

nakedpianoplayer said:

Yep. A BIG difference.

I'm not sure what causes that though. If pot was mostly grown outside, you could chalk it up to climate, but since most is grown indoors with grow lamps under similar conditions, I really don't know. In Canada, the strongest weed is here in BC. Most American-grown weed is pretty weak IMO, then again, that could just be in comparison to BC Bud. Everything seems weak compared to it.
[Edited 5/20/05 1:56am]

meow85 said:

Well weed is not just weed anyway. There are so many different kinds which will produce different THC levels.

JoeyMFinCoco said:

That's true. Different species do have different levels.