No that I'm trying to hook up with any of you. Inspired by Dex's thread.

Okay. I think I am a very good person. I have mostly male friends and we do a lot of stuff together that would be considered unconventional. I hang out with guys, talk to them for hours on end and have been called more than one guy's soulmate. When I was in relationships with men or seeking them, I did all the woman stuff: I love taking care of my significant other. I am one of those super bitches that can work all day and come home and still take care of my household. I love to cook, clean and have even ironed my man's clothes and sexually...well...those of you that 'know' me, know me. I have everything that a man says he wants in a woman and how he says he wants to be treated. I don't like hanging out at shopping malls, I love porn, I'm easy going and don't like to fight or argue and I don't diss my man to my girlfriends.

BUT.....

I am not the definition of a classic beauty and don't fit the mold some men want carved out. So, I get my friends coming back at me with all the problems they go through and hear 'if only she were more like you'. Well, damn. I'm just like me.

Anywho guys. Which would you rather have: A chick who's not Halle or Angelina but will be your best friend and treat you like the man you are or Halle or Angelina who look good on your arm but won't let you go anywhere, won't or can't cook, in your damn pockets all the time, etc.

OR

Do you guys seek out the total package.

Before you pick out that third option, stop lying. I'm just kidding. I know it's possible.

I just want a blow job and a sandwich...

i'm looking for a lobster with a tight blow hole

ReturnOfDOOK said:

and a warm place to shit

DrZoidberg said:

You can get all that at McDonalds for $5.

testicleman said:

yes, but she wore braces

DrZoidberg said:

go to BK and take a 20 then.

testicleman said:

now if only i had a place to sleep it off

DrZoidberg said:

HEY...SHE WAS ATTEMPTING TO BE SERIOUS..AND YOU ALL JUST JACKED HER THREAD...

DexMSR said:

oh i am being serious: blowjob, sandwich, place to shit, place to sleep.

what more could a crab want?!

A cute, sweet girl who doesn't make things more complicated than they need to be. No taller than 5'9", some college or at least a college worthy brain who dislikes people and could care less about what materialistic pleasures this life might have to offer.

TheOrgerFormerlyKnownAs said:

I have realized that some guys will not even look at a woman who is not in the classic beauty category. I wonder how many men would chase after Oprah if she wore no makeup and had a regular 9 to 5.

MBlaineEverywhere said:

Sista...don't ever sell yourself short...there is someone for everyone...you just continue to put out the energy you wish to get back...and it will come. Whap!

DexMSR said:

Oh no, not selling myself short by any means. I am just saying that there are some men who would rather have a classic beauty over anything else. A guy I met in college will only date women over 5'9" and under 135lbs. That is his preference and he will even say that if he has a pretty woman he can deal with her being dumb. He has a beautiful wife, but she is not a very nice person - he loves her. He acknowledges that this is a shallow point for him.

TheOrgerFormerlyKnownAs said:

The smart men will opt for Option 'A'. Most men go for Option 'B'. Some guys hold-out for Option 'C', while using Option 'A' and/or 'B' until Option 'C' comes along, at which point he dumps Option 'A' and/or 'B'.

Women are not immune from the looks game, either. They want a good-looking guy with a big dick and a big wallet. That said, there are exceptions to every rule.

Most people don't have a clue as to what it takes to sustain a healthy, long-term relationship. The vast majority of relationships are not built upon compatibility and that is why the vast majority of relationships fail. People are stupid.

Beauty is subjective.


One man thinks I'm fly, the other thinks I look like a duck.

This is why you just love ya self and keep it movin'.

Rhondab said:

Quack Quack!!

I want my mommy.....

It's probably best for us women to understand that men are always putting their best foot forward in order to woo us and that we're very likely to find a different person waiting to be revealed sometime into the relationship. I know of people who are shocked at the person their man really is and it would have been helpful to all parties involved if everyone were just themselves from the very beginning. That way you know what you're getting. It would be like buying a beautiful sports car only to find out there's no engine inside

DexMSR said:

Punk!

Ace said:

For a second there I thought you were going to say most "women". I almost had to break out the whip

FanciullaGentil said:

Chris Rock has a hilarious piece about this in his book, Rock This!. He talks about how people put on this front to woo the object of their affections and then "after it's safe, or when they just can't take it anymore, they're like 'Remember that guy you fell in love in with? Well, he's dead. But I'm here if ya need me.'"

I always used to get (and still do) the "I wish I could find a guy like you" comment from women...I would always say to myself "Yeah, right...you did find a 'guy like me'...you found me"..lol..

Obviously, they weren't looking for a guy like me...most women never are (there's TONS of guys like me out there)...What I think they mean is that they wanted a guy like the one they have (or had), the somewhat-shallow, barely-any-depth-but-has-nice-biceps, "yes, he's disrespectful and rude to me but he can be really nice sometimes" type of guy that they're with and that they're always with. But, once they were in a relationship with that type of guy, they hope he suddenly becomes a "guy like me".

If I had as many women after me, as there are women claiming that they're trying to find a guy LIKE me, I'd either never be able to leave the house...or I'd die of exhaustion...

Byron said:

As JoeyCoco put it (excuse the paraphrase), 'It takes women a shitload of bad relationships with "bad boys" to realize they want the "nice guy". Of course, by that time, the nice guys have a shitload of issues from being rejected all their lives by women who want the bad boy.'

Byron said:

I wish I could find someone just like you Byron!! OMG!!!


well, we do have issues about liking bad boys.


I like very smart, funny,ambitious, athletic men....with the right about of arrogance....I like a little bit of over confidence but you have to be able to back it up. Nice and yet aren't nice....


gawd..i'm troubled...lol

Byron said:

You've gotten it from me!

Rhondab said:

Aren't we all?

Rhondab said:

Quack Quack!

DexMSR said:

stop tellin' folks the sounds you make when ya.....


neva mind

analbolique said:

Amen. Nothing turns me off more than a female who's always telling me what to do, or a clinging vine. Be independent and don't center your life around me. She doesn't have to be drop-dead gorgeous, but cute and shaped like Beyonce or J-Ho(race doesn't matter).

My biggest turn-off? Overweight or real skinny women, and women who smoke. I don't care how pretty a woman is - I see her lighting up and it's "feet don't fail me now". Lips that touch tobacco will never touch mine.
[Edited 5/12/05 12:47pm]