Last nite was thee most intense nite Ive had to date...

A guy I had been dating from Aug-Dec last year (knew him for about a year before that) and had been going back and forth with me up until two days ago and I have finally gone our separate ways...oh the way it happened...

I found out the entire time I was with him, he had never broken up with her, his "ex"...they have been together 31/2 to 4 years....he was talking marriage to her...meanwhile he almost got me pregnant 3 times, wanted the keys to my house, and marriage with me as well.

Two days ago, he confessed that yes, he was still with her and LIVED with her but wanted a strictly sexually relationship with me, the type of girl who wouldnt do that.

I called his girl yesterday and told her everything that had occured between him and I, fortunately she listened with common sense and she said didnt NOT believe me. We were on the phone for two hours. She also wants to meet up and see me. Last nite on the phone, he landblasted me "Why are u and your friends making up all these rumours about us? Me and my girlfriend are happy! Is it jealousy? Leave us alone, stop trying to break our happy home, you rnot my type. Do me, do US a favor and go on your way."

He couldnt even scream at me, thats how wrong he knew he was. He had just ben at my house the day before trying to get some. I know he may call me again to redeem himself, but Im sick to my stomach with hurt and anger. Im puttin ga restraining order out on him also, because he can get crazy like that.

WHy did this have to happen?

Sex complicates everything. Don't sweat it. Just move on.

Well, I think you should walk away from it.

But, did you call her with the secret hope that it would effectively end their relationship, or to get back at him? Or where you really trying to be altruistic.


Personally, I would walk away, and let time do its thing. Problem is, it seems like forever when you're grieving.

AsianBomb777 said:

Did you just use altruistic correctly? Do you have a sister?

jerseykrs said:

Slap a wig on me, and you'd never be able to tell.



sort of.

I am sooo soo sorry to hear about this honey..

Men can be shits, this one is a big one.. you are lucky to get out of this relationship, its not healthy how he is treating you, keep your friends and family around you..

I dunno why these things happen, but sadly they do. Just remember its not your fault, you are strong, he is a coward. You arew much much better than any of this. Walk away, head held high, and if you do turn round, make sure its just to give the two fingers..

move on hes lied to you and he will just keep on doing it

All seriousness. Do you want anything with him after this? You told his girl (something I wouldn't have done for various reasons), now just move on. It sucks and it hurts. But lingering is useless. Find someone better.

AsianBomb777 said:

I wanted her to know becaus ehe was willing to cheat on her with me as long as I was okay with it and that isnt right. I told her Im not trying to break them up by telling her this. If I wanted him, I wouldve kept my mouth shut and contined on with it. By doing this I cant be with him. I told her, she can have him and I dont want to know what her decision is but she NEEDED to know this. I had lost my virginity to this guy. He was everything to me at one point.

CherrieMoonKisses said:

OK. You're deeply hurt and probably still wanting it to work out somewhere.


I've seen girls do this. Walk away. He's not the "one", and involving the "other girl" just complicates things.

What you need to focus on right now is "you". NOt them, not her, not him--just you. Walk away, grieve, heal.

jerseykrs said:

Im scared that it may get out of control. I wanted him to stop using me. I didnt have intentions of telling his girl until he came over my house day before yesterday trying to rip my clothes off and get some from me telling me he wanted a sexual relationship and that was it. I was insulted, hurt and disgusted that he wanted me an dher at the same time, Ive never been thru anything like this EVER.

AsianBomb777 said:

Thats what I want to do. It just kills me that everything went down the way it has.

CherrieMoonKisses said:

I understand. But meeting with her, talking, developing friendships--that kind of thing only keeps you attached to him and deepens your emotions to the point of obsession.

You have to just walk away.

The void gets filled--you just don't want it filled by the same people.

CherrieMoonKisses said:

Thats good, thats past. Remember that. There must have been some good times, but he cheated you out of all that you thought was good. He so obvioulsy isnt the person you fell for.

Be happy you CAN walk away.

AsianBomb777 said:

This shouldnt hurt me the way it has because I just knew something like this would occur but it hurts so bad...you think that she would want to create a friendship?? I hadnt even thought of that.

CherrieMoonKisses said:

Girls do strange things to get over the pain of a guy.

But the point is, don't bother meeting her or continueing the conversation.
There's will either end or he'll end up settling down with her--either way, your chapter in all of this has to end--it will be much more damaging to you if you allow any strings to be attached. Just walk away.

REDBABY said:

Thank you.

what should I say if he calls me...im going to try and not pick up the phone...im trying not to be stupid....

CherrieMoonKisses said:

Just hang up, or say there is nothing more to say, then hang up.. dont even give him an opportunity to talk, cos before you know it you will be listening to him, feel bad and have him back in your life.

turn and walk away without looking back


you are worth so much more and there is someone who will see this also


it's very painful ... but clean CUT ties heal so much faster then ragged ones with tiny strings still attached

REDBABY said:

which is something Ive already done numerous times...im sittting having a crying attack in class....i cant stop crying...im in my computer lab class.

CherrieMoonKisses said:

crying is healing


hang in there hun

Mach said:

Yes, so true.

WHy did this have to happen? [/quote]

Because you allowed it. Women cant do the physical thing. It's not in our make up. And dont go meet shorty. She might be on some Jerry Springer ishh. And if she doesnt beleive him i t'll happen again. Cut your losses. No love lost n keep it moving.

AsianBomb777 said:

She's in denial and he will swear up and down it's not true. But don't worry, she will find out the truth someday and karma is gonna hit him like a mother fucker. I know it hurts, just turn to your friends for support now and move on with your life. It may not seem it at first, but absolutely no contact with him will make things easier. Don't answer his calls and don't answer the door if he comes over. Or snap a picture of him at your house and mail it to the dumb bitch

hope you feel better.

CarrieLee said:

I am sorry for your pain leader of the 4F.

Think about you for now, he will become a distant memory.

Orgnote me if you need a friend!

let it go



U are so much better without him


believe it!