My ex/current contacted me today after several days, wanting to explain why he'd been scarce and will remain so through the next few days. I hadn't thought much about calling him lately, as I've been preoccupied with work and other things. I try to keep my distance from him a bit so as not to be obsessive or anything weird.

Anyhow, his father was diagnosed with cancer a couple of days ago, and will be undergoing emergency surgery to remove one of his kidneys.

I got to thinking a lot about this today. The ex/current was understandably upset about what's going on, but I wasn't sure what to say to him on the topic. Having had my own mother die of cancer some time ago, and being affected personally by the sickness and eventual death of a loved one, one would think it would give me the power to be a bit more sympathetic.

More like, however, I get frustrated. I look back on how I, myself, dealt with such things, and I realise that not everyone can remain as calm in such a situation. I can understand why, yet I cannot. There is nothing you yourself can do about your loved one's ailments, as much as you may want to. One cannot prevent death if death is to occur. That hardly means you can't wish it wasn't so, but wish in one hand and shit in the other and see what one fills up first!

I think if I looked at this differently, I could be quite sympathetic towards the ex/current and offer some very good first-hand experience and advice. One can talk to many people about these problems, but how often do you have someone who can say to you, "I know how you feel," and it not offensive? In this situation, I think I've experienced a wide spectrum of the emotions at hand when a loved one is sick... Though, back to my earlier point, I handled it quite well and calmly.

Either way, I'll be around to listen and offer the best support I can.

That's a terrible thing to happen to someone. It seems like everyone knows someone who has this or knows of someone.

I got a call from the doctor today...


She told me that I had abnormal cells on my Pap Smear.

I'm scared.

gemini13 said:

gemini13 said:

Nero said:

gemini13 said:

gemini13 said:

Please, try not to worry too much about the results of your pap smear, I know it's difficult though. I've had many, too many, abnormal results on my pap smears through the years and I've dealt with this, as well as more serious outcomes from it. I've learned a lot from it all, and read up on it for years and the majority of the time everything is gonna be a-ok.

Mild dysplasia is the most common form of abnormal cervical cells, and if the dysplasia is very mild the cells can return to normal on their own. Even if the dysplasia is moderate to very severe, usually the outcome is very good.

They'll probably have you come in for a colposcopy and biopsy, both of which are relatively painless, to determine if they need to remove the abnormal cells. My first time I had cryosurgery to freeze off the abnormal cells and all you experience is very mild cramping during the procedure. Then they'll usually increase your pap smears to every six months instead of yearly - I go in every three months now.

Again, please don't stress about it too much. Keep in mind that cervical cancer, developing from mild dysplasia, can take ten years or longer to occur. And, a lot of times, if you're carrying the HPV virus, that can change your cervical cells, too.

So, please, don't worry... I'm sure you'll be fine.

Nero said:

Nero said:

Hang in there!

gemini13 said:

I'll for you

Nero said:

You can handle this

Wish you all the best

Nero said:

That is so nice of you.

gemini13 said:

This can be good news and is the whole reason for doing the smears, early detection often means a perfect outcome, you will be fine

PREDOMINANT said:

Thanks to everyone. I let this go for a long time, and now I'm in pain in places I shouldn't be.

I sometimes get this stinging pain in my lower back on both sides..is that bad?It's like someone sticking a neddle in both my sides...it would occur every couple of seconds at the same time.