Yes, we all know single men love to party and go to the club with their boys. Some of the reasons why they go is to get drunk, get numbers, get ass for the night, or to just get out of the house.

But when a guy is in a relationship with his woman, is it really okay for him to go to the club or party with their boys just as often as they did when they were single? Plus, since they are in a relationship now, what are some of the reasons why guys still find it necessary to have to the club or to parties??

Please Note: I'm not saying that it is wrong, or right, just wanted to know your opinions on the issue.

HELL FUCKIN' NO!!! The only way my man is going clubbing is if I'm right there with him and vice versa!

hell edit!
[Edited 4/30/05 17:25pm]

It all depends on what his motivation is to go out. There's nothing wrong with having some fun without your partner.

as i was trying to say before the site froze up on me.... i go out to clubs, dancing, with my girlfriends. it all depends on the reason for going.

analbolique said:

thats true. but my boyfriend goes out with his friends frequently to frat parties as he did when he was single, but i find myself wondering, why does he still feel the need to still go. Maybe my vision of why a person goes to a party is all screwed up, because I always feel like if you go to a party especially a frat party, you are looking for ass or a number. When he tells me what he did at the party and how stupid he and friends acted while they were drunk, my conclusion comes to the fact that he likes to go to get drunk with his friends and act foolish...but i'm not a guy and can't seem to figure out how he thinks when it comes to this situation...

missfee said:

As girlfriend in the relationship, you should be questioning in your mind wondering who is he fucking at the club b/c a man does have urges that has to be met. He's either got to be fucking another girl or one of his boys at the club plain and simple. Otherwise, your man would be spending time with your ass end of story. Read between the lines. Trust me, the Dickologist knows the real deal.
[Edited 4/30/05 17:40pm]

CynthiasSocks said:

Damn Right.

MsLegs said:

...

MsLegs said:

That's cuz we know what's going on in the clubs! And I think in your post that you may be on to something! "Dickologist"

CynthiasSocks said:

You know that yours truly the resident org Dickologist speaks the truth. It doesn't matter if its a straight or gay club, you can find somebody fucking in a corner.
[Edited 4/30/05 17:46pm]

I think one word is what needs to be said here - Trust!
If you don't trust you partner, then don't be with them.
I don't see anything wrong with going out with friends to parties, clubs and so on. They enjoy joking around with them and having fun with them. It's the company of their friends that is what they're looking for.
If your partner goes out alone o clubs, that's when you need to start worrying.

SomeoneElse said:

I guess your life expereinces must be different from Cynthias and mine. Trust, lust and tempation and separte things that shouldn't be taken lightly.

MsLegs said:

If you don't trust you man's lust
Ending the relationship is a must

When you make a commitment to someone, you have to take that person's feelings about things into consideration. The person you commit to also has to become a priority. It also boils down to a matter of trust: You can ask to have him under foot and he'll say you don't trust him; you'll fight and it'll make things worse OR you can ocassionally let him go hang with his boys if you feel you can trust him. More than not in this stage or your relationship, he has proven whether or not he can be trusted. Don't make him stay in the house all the time cuz you'll both regret it.Going out together to the clubs sometimes doesn't work cuz boys talk totally different when there are out alone and you'd pretty watch him like a hawk the whole time you're out together anyways.

missfee said:

I guess you're right. Most guys do party and hope to get some ass at the end of the night, but this guy already has someone, so maybe there's another reason why he likes to hang with his friends. Sometimes a guy just want to act stupid without having to watch what they do or say because their gf is around....which doesn't mean he's a cheater.

TheOrgerFormerlyKnownAs said:

analbolique said:

He like to go out to the clubs with his friends to find some ass for backup if this relationship don't work out. Some of you are so naive.
[Edited 4/30/05 18:12pm]

U should be happy CLUBBIN is all he's doing...

I know a guy who's wife is about to drop one...and he's with his buddies partying, gettin bj's etc

MsLegs said:

And of course it's always 100% true, right?

Well, sorry. I'm not like that. so include me out of this equasion. And I bet there are plenty of guys out there like me.
If you had bad luck with guys, don't reflect their disloyalty on all men.

SomeoneElse said:

No, I haven't had any bad luck. But, I knows what goes on in the clubs.

missfee said:

I do not buy that boys will be boys argument...if any partner is in a committed relationship they make SMALL changes because a relationship requires work. I agree people should have their own interests and separate activities but to go out as you always have/had and ignore the concerns of the other person...well I do not think that makes for a good relationship.

The answer to your question is no...not as often. No matter the reason.

MsLegs said:

If I gotta be worried what my partner is doing when we're not together, then I don't need to be with him. I do not believe all men are dogs and if that man has got a good woman at home that treats him like a king(and her like a queen) the last thing he'll want to do is go out and get some ass on the side. I got a suggestion for missfee: tell your guy to invite his friends to your place. If they get loud, rambunctuous, etc., don't trip.If you make his friends uncomfortable in your home, then your man will wanna go out more.

PiscesGlenn said:

Maybe he already made some small changes. Can't say from her post he's going partying just as frequently as he used to. Small changes might also have been made in small areas and considering her age this might not really be that much of a serious relationship. Perhaps they're both still trying to figure out what they really want in life.

I also don't think this is just something which applies to men only. Girls don't just have a slumber party and watch Legends Of the Fall anymore these days.

analbolique said:

Well...I agree with you...absolutely. Especially about the age thing and not knowing if there have been any small changes. I also agree that this does not apply to men only! Absoluytely not!

PiscesGlenn said:

I agree.

well i mean, i do want him to hang out with his friends, i don't really care for guys who want to sit up under me 24/7 with nothing else to do. Yes he does goes out with his friends and party, but i go out with my friends and party too. Its not like he is neglecting me at all, he does make sure he spends time with me during the week, and sometimes on the weekends he goes out with his friends or hangs with me. I just thought to ask the question to see how others deal with this in their relationships. I know that sometimes when I do go partying with my girlfriends, sometimes I feel like something is missing like i wish he were with me or something...but i always tell him the crazy things i do when i go out and vice versa. and plus our relationship hasn't it the serious zone yet. but when it does, i expect that the partying would slow down. no i don't think he is cheating or looking for ass...if i thought that then i don't think i would be with him.

i've always believed that if a man is going to cheat then thats just what he'll do. no woman can stop a man from cheating so why waste the time wondering if he is doing this or that. until its live in your face, or if he tells he is cheating, then i wouldn't think about it. i tell my girlfriends this also. a woman who has to check her man's cell phone frequently for suspicious numbers (and yes i've seen girls do this) is a pathetic woman.

missfee said:

That's exactly it. Your realationship hasn't hit the serious zone yet. Your situation is different from someone who is involved in a serious relationship.

All I know is if my man (not just some dude I'm dating, MY MAN) still went to the club & frat parties as much as he did when he was single, I'd be a little worried. Then again I'd know I was setting myself up if I dated a guy that still hit the club & frat parties

we are in our 20's, so most guys who are in their 20's do still party and such.

CalhounSq said:

Calhoun, you probably around my age. I am not in my 20's like Misfee.