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When I was little stories.... My uncle told me as a kid "Andre don't you ever trust those crackas!" Till this day I refuse to eat Saltine and Ritz Crackers. 
When I was little my uncle Darryl was teaching me to ride a bike...He told me to concentrate when I was riding....He followed me on his ten speed as I rode along....He said "Your doing great! Just concentrate and don't look back!" I of course looked back and said "What?" And procceeded to hit a electric pole head first.... The moral of this story....Germans love David Hasslehoff.... 
In High School me and my friend was talking to this girl who was a bit of a ho...He asked her "I bet you like nuts on your chin huh? And she said "Fuck yeah I do!" So I hit her in the face with a can of Planters Cashews.... 
In 6th grade I sent 5 kids to the hospital because of jerri curl juice during a basketball game....Thank goodness they were only "temporarly" blinded....  clever clever quotation - attention getting quote - sad yet witty remark - look at me! Im deep quote- song lyric about my ex cause that bitch stole my mp3 player! - line from movie I liked - Prince lyric - not very clever sig mocking other sigs | |
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Of all the imaginary friends I've had, I don't think there was one that I didn't end up having to kill... 
My aunt is a gold digger...She hooked up with this poor guy we knew who just dressed nice...It's the saddest thing you'll ever see...Its like a mosquito sucking on a mummy.... 
I once asked where rain comes from, My mom told me "God is crying." And I asked why God is crying? My dad said " I dunno...Probably because of something you did." clever clever quotation - attention getting quote - sad yet witty remark - look at me! Im deep quote- song lyric about my ex cause that bitch stole my mp3 player! - line from movie I liked - Prince lyric - not very clever sig mocking other sigs | |
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when i was younger..my brother convinced me that we were kin with aunt jamima and uncle ben 
i was SUCH a dumbass "A broken heart bleeds beautiful poetry as a tattered soul breathes beautiful art..." | |
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Playing football (soccer) in the garden with my older brother, he was hogging the ball and not letting me play, so my Dad said 'James, give Nick a kick'. My brother ran up to me and kicked me in the shin!  | |
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when i was about 5 y.o
my uncle would always threaten to tie me up in rope and lock me in the cupboard, and i wasn't even a little shit (i swear) i mean talk about traumatising a young kid - sheesh WHY SHOULD I DO THAT, WHEN I CAN DO THIS | |
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my mom used 2 tell me i was adopted when i was being a brat...
she can't say that now..i could pass as her twin  "A broken heart bleeds beautiful poetry as a tattered soul breathes beautiful art..." | |
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u guys were all pathetic when u were little  "Americans consume the most fast food than any nation on Earth and the stupid motherfuckers wonder why they are so fat? " - Oprah Winfrey | |
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Xavier23 said: u guys were all pathetic when u were little
sod. "A broken heart bleeds beautiful poetry as a tattered soul breathes beautiful art..." | |
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MochaStarr said: my mom used 2 tell me i was adopted when i was being a brat...
she can't say that now..i could pass as her twin Your Mom must be fine!!!  | |
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NoodleSoup said: MochaStarr said: my mom used 2 tell me i was adopted when i was being a brat...
she can't say that now..i could pass as her twin Your Mom must be fine!!! 
i'm snatching up that compliment cuz if she heard that her head would swell and kill us all  "A broken heart bleeds beautiful poetry as a tattered soul breathes beautiful art..." | |
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My father used to ask if i'd seen his daughter...for no particular reason. He'd just come over to me and run down a basic description.
"Daddy, its's me!" Father: You who? Dynamic Savior Said: Also, do you think that ugly people are God's cruel joke on humanity (like the platypus and the heterosexual) or another form of population control? | |
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when i was little ( is around 6 little ? ) anyway .... i used to sneak out late at night and swim naked in our pool | |
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I'm a good cracka...not to salty not to plain...come and get a taste...you'll like it  | |
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damosbeautifulgrlndaworld said: I'm a good cracka...not to salty not to plain...come and get a taste...you'll like it
 | |
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TMPletz said: damosbeautifulgrlndaworld said: I'm a good cracka...not to salty not to plain...come and get a taste...you'll like it
uhh your slobbering on my face again..... | |
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damosbeautifulgrlndaworld said: TMPletz said:
uhh your slobbering on my face again..... That's not where I was licking.  | |
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TMPletz said: damosbeautifulgrlndaworld said: uhh your slobbering on my face again..... That's not where I was licking. Oh damn..... | |
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TMPletz said: damosbeautifulgrlndaworld said: uhh your slobbering on my face again..... That's not where I was licking. You sound like the old me! Hands off buddy  She's the only org lady I got left!clever clever quotation - attention getting quote - sad yet witty remark - look at me! Im deep quote- song lyric about my ex cause that bitch stole my mp3 player! - line from movie I liked - Prince lyric - not very clever sig mocking other sigs | |
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Sinister said: TMPletz said: That's not where I was licking. You sound like the old me! Hands off buddy She's the only org lady I got left!Bwahahahahahah! | |
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TMPletz said: Sinister said: You sound like the old me! Hands off buddy She's the only org lady I got left!Bwahahahahahah! WHATS so funny? | |
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damosbeautifulgrlndaworld said: TMPletz said: Bwahahahahahah! WHATS so funny? He's just jealous cause after all my hard work over the years I finally got you....  clever clever quotation - attention getting quote - sad yet witty remark - look at me! Im deep quote- song lyric about my ex cause that bitch stole my mp3 player! - line from movie I liked - Prince lyric - not very clever sig mocking other sigs | |
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damosbeautifulgrlndaworld said: TMPletz said: Bwahahahahahah! WHATS so funny?  | |
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 what's a girl to do??? | |
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Sinister said: Of all the imaginary friends I've had, I don't think there was one that I didn't end up having to kill...
My aunt is a gold digger...She hooked up with this poor guy we knew who just dressed nice...It's the saddest thing you'll ever see...Its like a mosquito sucking on a mummy....
I once asked where rain comes from, My mom told me "God is crying." And I asked why God is crying? My dad said " I dunno...Probably because of something you did." That's something my mom would say!!  | |
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damosbeautifulgrlndaworld said: what's a girl to do??? clever clever quotation - attention getting quote - sad yet witty remark - look at me! Im deep quote- song lyric about my ex cause that bitch stole my mp3 player! - line from movie I liked - Prince lyric - not very clever sig mocking other sigs | |
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B2O2O2T2Y said: Sinister said: Of all the imaginary friends I've had, I don't think there was one that I didn't end up having to kill...
My aunt is a gold digger...She hooked up with this poor guy we knew who just dressed nice...It's the saddest thing you'll ever see...Its like a mosquito sucking on a mummy....
I once asked where rain comes from, My mom told me "God is crying." And I asked why God is crying? My dad said " I dunno...Probably because of something you did." That's something my mom would say!!  clever clever quotation - attention getting quote - sad yet witty remark - look at me! Im deep quote- song lyric about my ex cause that bitch stole my mp3 player! - line from movie I liked - Prince lyric - not very clever sig mocking other sigs | |
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Sinister said: damosbeautifulgrlndaworld said: what's a girl to do??? Okay, I give up. | |
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TMPletz said: Sinister said: Okay, I give up. QUITER!!! clever clever quotation - attention getting quote - sad yet witty remark - look at me! Im deep quote- song lyric about my ex cause that bitch stole my mp3 player! - line from movie I liked - Prince lyric - not very clever sig mocking other sigs | |
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Sinister said: TMPletz said: Okay, I give up. QUITER!!! Nah. It's just I can do that with my wife anytime. | |
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TMPletz said: Sinister said: QUITER!!! Nah. It's just I can do that with my wife anytime. God I feel like I am in high school again | |
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