After a little over two years of separation, I am legally divorced!

I went to court this morning for a property settlement conference with the judge, which, everything was already divided, and I asked him to waive the six month waiting period, since we only had a month to go anyway, and he granted it and the marriage is dissolved.

All that's left is to file my papers with the state to change my name back and I guess that chapter of my life is closed.

Though, really, it's not closed as my husband and I will always be the closest of friends.

I never thought it'd happen. But, it's done and I guess I don't really know what to feel about it. He and I carry on as normal, without the sex and without the resentment that I've held towards him for twelve years, but our relationship with one another, at a deeper level, remains the same, if not better.

All is good, I think!

AzureStarr said:

senik said:

The kids have remained with me since we left him. For the judgement papers we had to put down custody and visitation, but we really don't follow that at all, well, the visitation part we don't.

I have sole physical custody with joint legal, and visiation on paper is every other weekend for their father and alternate holidays, but he knows he can see them or have them stay at any time he'd like and we work out the holidays ourselves, me knowing which are more important to him or which ones his family celebrates and I don't, Chirstmas we both spend time with them.

We've gotten along great through the entire thing, only bitching and moaning here and there, mainly out of frustration of it ending, I think because we both know we love one another, but we also know we don't work well as man and wife, and not really wanting it to end, but knowing it's the best way.

Thanks... I don't know if I'm happy really, other than feeling relief of the process being over. It's difficult to love someone and leave them.

Ace said:

Congratulations!

I know your heart is sad!

As long as you take all of the things you have learned, and go forward, you will never lose..

Love ya my dearest Azure!

I think it's great you and your ex-husband seem to get along pretty well. That's not only great for you and him, but especially for the kids. I wish more people would react that mature.

My ex-boyfriend is a very good friend of mine. We don't have sex anymore, and I have a new boyfriend, but he stays very close to my heart. This is really great. Of course, we were never married or had kids together, so the 'separation' was on another, probably less painful level.

I wish you luck in opening the door that is in front of you. Hopefully you will be able to love again one day, and finding a way to be together this time.

Ace said:

vulture!

sag10 said:

I'll be doing that, and I've learned so much in the past two years. It's funny, when I left I couldn't talk to anyone in public... I didn't know how. I was scared to death to be out here and the world seemed so fucking huge and scary. That's sad for someone who was 31 at the time, feeling like a child leaving their mom... lol. But, I'm no longer that person I was then and it feels great and I am moving forward.

E even made a comment about that this morning. "You've come a long way, baby and it looks good on you. I'm proud of you!". Which felt great seeing as how he was one of them that said I was destined to fall flat on my face without him.




And, a big thanks to you for guiding me in the right direction through the years. I love you for that!

MarieLouise said:

My most-recent ex and I are still incredibly close, too. Just because you're not fucking anymore, doesn't mean you can't enjoy all the other things you give one another.

All the best Azure

best wishes on your new start

MarieLouise said:

It is good that we get along like this. I was afraid that we wouldn't because I'd hurt him so much when I left and hurt him again when we tried to work it out months later. I think if the love wasn't there it wouldn't be happening and our children would suffer. Our kids have been great through it all, of course there are times when they'd cry or wish we'd all live together again, but it's been very few times.

Like you and your ex, it's always good when that bond can remain, even though the relationship itself has run its course.

Thank you...

Lleena said:

Thanks, Llee-Llee!

Mach said:

Thank you...

AzureStarr said:

Even though you have been living with the arrangement for quite some time now, having things actually signed and sealed arouses new emotions, whether it's complete relief or uncertainty of one's happiness. But from what you say, it's looks like you have actioned a well organised arrangement which has kept all parties happy, incl. your children. You and your kids (and your former partner) must have had to display a lot of courage and strengh to get you to this junction in life so far. Those qualities will no doubt hold you in good stead. So look forward to your new futures. You can make it bright

Its great you're still friends. I'm still good friends with my ex as well. In fact, last time she was in town she went to dinner with me & my fiancee!

Can we party now?

It's great that you and your ex can make things work for the children. It's always best to carry on without any animosity. I glad that you seem happy

It's better that you realized that you don't work well as husband and wife and ended it, than to not realize it or even worse to realize it but continue on.




Smooches;)

senik said:

Thank you...

It's funny, my kids knew their father and I were going to court today and that I was going to try and complete the divorce today. They expected some big thing to happen, you know... so when they looked at me with fright in their eyes, I explained that nothing was going to change, other than the judge signs a paper saying it was okay and they said... "Oh, that's it?"... they were relieved... they thought something HUGE was going to take place!

All the best Azure

JediMaster said:

Ooooh... I don't know how I'd feel about that or if I could do that. Not that I wouldn't want him with another woman, but I think I'd be checking to see if she was good enough for him or not... lol. Hell, I'm already thinking that with this girlfriend he has now!

It's great that you and your ex are still close like that!

jerseykrs said:

AzureStarr said:

Awwww They just wanted to know their Mum was gonna be safe


For your children

AzureStarr said:

I'm not sure if that's a yes or now.....

MsMisha319 said:

I knew twelve years ago, when we got married, that it wouldn't work, but I was too afraid to back out of it. I'm glad I did marry him, because I can't imagine what life would have been without him in it, and, of course, I wouldn't have two amazing children!

In fact, I'd probably still be married if I hadn't been told by an orger, a few years ago, to stop trying to get my ducks all in a row and just do it if I was going to do it. It took me my whole marriage to go through with it.

I dunno... it feels like life is just playing out as it should.

Thanks, you...

AndGodCreatedMe said:

Thank you...

Isn't a sense of well being a great feeling?

jerseykrs said:

You're not sure if it's a yes or now? So, a no isn't an option. Well, then... I choose yes because now isn't a good time as I'm a little far away!

AzureStarr said:

where is that eye roll emoticon when I need it.....


btw, all kidding aside, from someone who went through it, I'm happy for you.

carpe diem baby