A woman walked into a Lexus dealership to browse, and
spotted the most beautiful, perfect "loaded" Lexus. She walked over to
inspect it more closely. As she bent forward to feel the fine leather
upholstery, an unexpected little burst of flatulence escaped her. Very
embarrassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed.
There, standing right behind her, was a salesman. With a pleasant
smile he greeted her, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"
Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though
nothing had happened, she smiled back and asked, "Sir, what is the
price of this lovely vehicle?" Still smiling pleasantly, he replied,
"Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted just touching it,
you're gonna shit when you hear the price."

I have two versions of my favorite joke.

First the dirty version:

Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: You F* her!


Second, the less dirty but probably more offensive version:

Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up like an alter boy!

nice.