Well in my case I was cheated on by my man with his ex boyfriend several times, I have seen them have sex unfortunatley for the entire 1st year of the relationship PLUS other people.

Then I find a man in the closet..then I find more junk.


How many "I will never do it again's" can I take?

I know u guys said maybe it wont happen again, but it kept on even when he promised everything it wouldnt.

like i said on the other thread people can change but they must want it

maybe he likes multiple partners

it's down to you to do whats gonna make you happy

p0pRocks said:

But he will not face reality that I know he needs multiple partners to be happy. I have moved out and am stress free but in the same time I am doing something for him that is helping me get through the weeks but I am emotionally drained when the "I want you backs" come along.

paisleypark4 said:

I'm sure you know inside whats right for you and it's just being strong enough to stick to that decision and not get trapped by a destructive relationship

he doesn't seem to respect you, hope you work it all out in the end

p0pRocks said:

Thank you, no one is really being kind to me at this moment other than my friends.

Some people change, some don't. I've seen it work both ways. My only serious relationship was with someone who I'd consider a serial cheater. It was long ago but we still cross paths and I have no doubt that to this day he cheats on whoever he is with. I've seen it too many times through the years. He's the one who propositions me nearly every time I run into him. One time it happened at a party he and his current girlfriend were attending together.
Then again, I've also seen folks in a relationship get past it. One cheated, it didn't happen again, they were able to move on.

i've been all up, down and around this kind of thing in the past, during a relationship i had for three years where i had to deal with this very kind of stuff. in my experience, the bottom line was, is he worth this kind of constant grief? does the good outweigh the bad? is this kind of constant drama something that i can see myself being cool with, say, ten years from now? is it acceptable? is it fair to me? could i possibly be happy with someone else down the road? are there other intelligent, nice, cute people out there who have some kind of control over their privates?

i answered those questions and a few others, and i moved on. not that it was easy. but i did what was right for me.

paisleypark4 said:

1st of all, you sound like a stupid woman! I clicked your profile and saw u r a man, but there ain't nothing masculine about u!

U don't have very good sense do u?

I don't tolerate no cheating unless I don't give a damn because I'm cheating myself.....(which is mostly the case)

If your man don't love you enough to not fuck around then toss his ho ass!


If you keep letting him get away with it, and u keep melting whenever he apologizes then he's gonna keep making u look like a fool cause you're EASY to take advantage of.

silly.....
[Edited 4/19/05 15:22pm]

klhk said:

That is why im not back with him

paisleypark4 said:

Wow this story sounds familiar doesn't it . If I were u Paisley Park, u do what makes u happy. If your boyfriend is asking for you back, i think u should consider it cause he learn from his past mistakes. As for all these people who say he is a loser and all that, they don't know him at all. They all need to get off their high horse like they never committed sin. If thats the case they need to be a priest or nun. I know i made mistakes and learn from mines and i know i will never do it again. I know the odds are against me and this person you talking about but you should listen to what he have to say. I bet this person was there for you more than your friends and family combine the past 2 and half years adn took you all over the country with him hah. I bet your friend tells u he loves everytime he see you doesn't he. I bet your friend is successful and have jealous people want him gone so you can be at the bottom with them don't they. I know this stuff cause i am living it.

LISTEN TO YOUR PARTNER! HE STILL LOVES YOU AND YOU SHOULD HAVE AN OPEN MIND!!LIKE JODIW WATELY SAID, Friends sux and they only wnat you on the same level as them or below. Seems to me your partner who took you to all these prince concerts and gave you money put you way above them.

LISTEN TO HIM;
FROM DR PHIL AKA SAINTSATION .

p0pRocks said:

MULTIPLE PARTNERS, I don't think so.

p0pRocks said:

How you know he doesn't respect him, you talk to him. I hate when you little self righteous people try to give advice and ca't follow yourself.

klhk said:

Another good advice. All people not the same. I think he changed, how i know, cause my story is very similar in so many ways and i know i will not do that ever again.

My wife cheated on me, 6 times. All in one 4 months spell. We weren't married then, and I was thousands of miles away. Why did I stick with it? I could see the potential in her. I knew her flaws. I also knew the incredible wife she'd make. The incredible wife she is now. If I'd have given it up then I'd have lost the love of my life. Yes, I haven't forgotten, but I know the person I'm with absolutely and understand why it happened. That's why I stuck by her and why I don't hold any resentment about it now. Everybody makes mistakes.

You could find somebody who wouldn't cheat on you but who would never be the soulmate you're after. My wife cheated on me but learnt from her mistakes to grow into the best person I could ever wish to spend my life with. I'm glad I stood by her and tried to be an example to her. She changed so much to be with me and grew into the most amazing woman you could imagine.

saintsation said:

oh, the irony!!

pp4, whats going on my friend?!

When someone shows you who they are the first time, BELIEVE THEM!
You are putting yourself at risk buddy! You have got to get out of this relationship for good. You are being abused. U gotta get out of there! Youre just going to have to bite your lip and cut the cord. It may not be easy but you will be better as a result of having done so. Trust me. IM me.

Fauxie said:

I know thats right.

In the end it comes down to instincts. They're you're greatest tool if you know how to use them. It's hard if you feel you've been spontaneous in the past and got burned though.

dreamfactory313 said:

Funny, my boss here at work showed me the first time what a mean bich she was. Now she ne and enjoyable to talk too. Please, not a good ritual u have there with first time things. How you know that paisley was not having a good time in that relationship? He looks like the type to me that do what his friends say.

PAISLEY. Listen to your man when he says he wants you back. You ask the following questions to yourself. Do you want him wit hsomeone else doing all the fun things you two used to do. Do you want another boy or girl whatever living in there wit hhim on easy streak? Now that he looks like he changed and sound like me, d oyou want this man of yours being lubby dubby to someone else not cheating or whatever with them or do you want it for yourself. Answer those questions.

dreamfactory313 said:

Funny, my boss here at work showed me the first time what a mean bitch she was. Now she ne and enjoyable to talk too. Please, not a good ritual u have there with first time things. How you know that paisley was not having a good time in that relationship? He looks like the type to me that do what his friends say.

PAISLEY. Listen to your man when he says he wants you back. You ask the following questions to yourself. Do you want him wit hsomeone else doing all the fun things you two used to do. Do you want another boy or girl whatever living in there wit hhim on easy streak? Now that he looks like he changed and sound like me, d oyou want this man of yours being lubby dubby to someone else not cheating or whatever with them or do you want it for yourself. Answer those questions.

saintsation said:

With all due respect, the person that pp4 is seeing has been cheating on him with multiple partners. He is putting himself at risk for disease! We havent even begun to talk about the emotional abuse, we are talking about life and death issues here. People, we have got to come to grips with what is at stake here! Lets not ignore the elephant in the room. I undertsand that some people deserve second chances. There is more than 1 way to skin a cat. But in this case pp4 cant afford to give this person another cahnce. PP4 needs to free himself from this corrosive relationship.

So u saying that paisleys man was dating someone else besides him. They have a 3 year relationship. i can very very relate to this and tell you that A lot has happen in that relationship, mostly good. I bet paisley cheated on him and he took him back. Nobodys perfect and i hate those people who tells other people to get out of relationship and don't even know the other side of the story. Those are the people who not happy themselves to me. Then they like to throw up diseases and all that mess like people don't know about them.

Saintsation, would u continue to be with someone who was constantly having sex with other people against your will? How can u say that its not a matter of health? Im not understanding you rationale for someone staying in a realtionship like that. How healthy can it be?

If pp4's opening post is accurate, he needs to terminate the relationship. Thats my opinion and Im sticking to it.

dreamfactory313 said:

It's not healthy you are right, and I know for a fact that he has cheated on me multiple times with his ex partner unprotected, and thank god I did not have anything contracted from the ho.

I did cheat on my former mate yeah, but it just made me even crazier taking him back when he found out because I knew that he was going to do it again to me...and worse which came to be.

I'll never understand why anyone even bothers to be in, or claim to be in, a "committed relationship" when obviously neither parties are *capable* of faithfulness, and apparantly don't seem to even *want* to be faithful to only one person.

What's the point of entering into a obstentisbly "exclusive", committed relationship when one or both parties are going around cheating on the other all the time? Why even take on the hassle and drama of "committing" yourself in the first place?

I'll also never understand the rationale: "well, I'll just cheat on them now since they cheated on ME!", yet then later thinking the relationship could ever work out or be one of trust and fidelity. Because it won't. At least, not until a little bit more mature thinking and attitude comes into play.


[Edited 4/20/05 12:55pm]

KaleidoscopeEyes said:

I HATE REALTIONSHIPS FOREVER!!!!!

paisleypark4 said:

Relationships are great when both people involved are on the same page and are honest about themselves and what they want.

paisleypark4 said:

Well you have those wonderful friends of yours to help you in the dark times now and u can meet all the men you want and contract something through them. I heard the minneapolis community here among african americans hiv status shot up 24 percent in 2004 study showed. Yes you right, being with your ex who loved you very much and sorry for what he has done and was ready to treat you like a queen like he was doing before, working at a compay making tons of money for you two and diseased free is less safer than the path you heading to with them friends of yours that made tons of bad decisions themselves who only want you down in the dumps with them. This story sounds just like my situation and burn my blood. But i am over that on my side though.

Think about it:

If u did actually believe that he needed multiple partners to be happy... fine. He should have told u first!

If u believed that for the 50th time he wanted to change and wanted to be a good man to u *key: he may have wanted u back but, did he want to change?* Cool. But does he actually believe that he has anyhting to atone for? Is he trying to change? Why does he find it so convinient to come and go as he pleases?

If u believe that this is going to be the last time. If you believe that he knows that he is putting the both of you at serious risk. If you believe that he now knows that u r the only one he needs because he knows he has not been good to you. Stay with him. If u have more doubt and anger in your heart when u think of him than love, then leave. U have to get tired of being sick and tired.

Good luck baby. The best lies we tell r the ones we tell ourselves.