SomeoneElse said:

well, actually, i used to get pictures and letters every year at her birthday time.. letting me know how she is doing. when i got married, they sent a gift in her name. when my grandfather died this past summer, i recieved a card from their family. but, as shes getting older, i think they feel the pressure too.... who knows ? maybe shes asked about me ??? maybe they know that the time is comming when i will be able to see and talk to her, and although i have NO plans to try and 'take' her from them, i can see where it would be difficult to have that situation come about...

and as far as MY side goes... yes, if i write, i want them to write back, if they write back, i wanna see her, if i see her, i wanna hold her, theres never a way to just 'check in on her' as my feelings would overcome my common sense and i would want to shower myself in her in everyway. the hole she left in my heart is one that cannot be filled with my other children, a man, a dog, or anything else i have tried... there is only one person out there that can fill that hole, and one day, when the time is right.. i pray that she allows that and feels comfortable.

by the way... she lives about a block and a half away from my grandmother, so, my family gets to see her all the time... for me, its hard, because i think its so unfair... but at least, in some way, i know shes still doing ok

Fauxie said:

difficult decision for sure .... this type of thing is never easy to deal with my best wishes go to you and your wife, i hope things turn out perfect in the end

nakedpianoplayer said:

Thanks.

I hope everything works out ok for you. You're in a difficult situation, for sure.

The main thing is that you know she's doing ok and is with a good family.

Keep on keeping on.

Fauxie said:

much love you to ya darlin

thank you

nakedpianoplayer said:

2 more years to go NPP!
I wish you peace and strength till that time.

There's this TV show here in the Netherland where people can try to find their families back! Most of the time these people are addopted and want answers why they were addopted. 99% are not mad at their biological parents..only want answers were they come from...who they look like..if they have brothers and sisters and why they were giving up for addoption.

HowComeYouDontCallme said:

thanks sweetie 2 more years... well, 2 years and 3 months to be almost exact.... thats only about 820 more days.. ive gone about 5,475 days so far... so, this should be a piece of cake, right ???

only 2 more years to go

Yes, I'm adopted. So are my two siblings...

I'm adopted. And to tell you the truth, I don't want this to sound like I am insensitive or anything, but I don't care where my biological parents are at this point in my life. I'm doing fine without them, and am happy that they tried/succeeded to give me something they couldn't. I have no problem with it, but I personally don't like to tell people that I am. Not that I'm ashamed but because I just don't want them to know. But since your not just any person, I'm telling you

Case said:

do you have any thoughts to share ?? please ??

Tish4 said:

wow.... ok, i accept your answer, and i thank you for your honesty

it hurts me to know that this is a very real thing that i may have to deal with... just the fact that she wont want to see/meet/know/love me .... its waaaaay more than i can deal with thinking about

im glad that you are doing well in life and i hope the best for you...

gotta say... leaving it like this has made me very

i know there's nothing anyone can say to make it better, and i know this was all my choice, and i know i deserve everything im feeling.... but damn, this weighs on my heart in a HORRIBLE way

nakedpianoplayer said:

Well, basically I just don't see the point in holding bad feelings towards my birth Mother for giving me up for adoption. She did the right thing, as I'm sure you did at that time in your life. Remember that every minute that passes is a minute closer to your goal. I hope you have much to look forward to.

Cloudbuster said:

That doesn't make sense. Such poor english. Oh well, you knew what I meant.

nakedpianoplayer said:

Such a sad but beautiful story. I'm sorry that you miss your daughter so much. I think its great though that your other children know about her and that you have made such an effort to remember her. I hope that you get to meet soon. It might be hard for both of you at the beginning but I can tell from your post that you love her very much and I'm sure she will see that too.

I don't really understnd what you're going through. All I can do is
[Edited 4/21/05 4:23am]

I have a friend who is adopted. He is very open about it and clearly doesn't have any hang-ups or issues with it. He talks frankly about his birth parents, in that he has no malice or ill-will towards them. He understands why they did it, simple as that.

I have little experience of the whole adoption thing, I'll be honest, but the impression I get is that adoptive parents are very good at providing an honest and fair view of the birth parents, with no judgement or criticism, so I am sure your baby will not be thinking badly of you.

LolaM said:

youre hug means a lot to me... thank you

Cloudbuster said:

thank you ... on so many levels.. thank you

RocknRollDave said:

this was my mothers first grandbaby, and i dont think she really expected to feel the way she did - she was there with me in the labor room, and there with me when she was born holding my hand .... and as she always has been - there for me in every way a mother can be. she had called them when i went into labor, and told them it was time, they drove long distance to get there, and when they did, i told them i just couldnt do it... that i was so sorry, but, i just couldnt do it but, then i thought about everything they had to offer her, and everything i didnt and sooooo many thoughts about her life and what i wanted her to be, the choice had to be made. my mom and i talked through tears and a lot of emotions on both sides, we agreed that if it were ANY other set of parents, we would never do this... but they seemed so perfect - the thought process is one that i can never tell you how it really happened, and i can never tell you how laying in that hospital bed, holding that baby when the knock on the door came then seeing them and knowing that the whole thing was over.... there are no words.... no words.....


i'll just say im glad that there are parents out there that explain that the birthmothers TRUELY loved their child, and thats WHY they were able to give them up. ok, truely, im crying now... i have to stop talking about this thanks guys, to all.....

nakedpianoplayer said:

Thank you I hope everything goes well with you also. I know it must be painful knowing that you gave up something that you might have wanted to keep later on in life. But going through this now means that it will make you stronger in the future. So keep ya head up and know that your child is in safe arms and don't worry about them because they are fine. Who knows? They probably will com lookin' for you Stay strong



I can't spell edit
[Edited 4/21/05 15:19pm]

Tish4 said: