Big Fish -- A
charming

The Count Of Monte Cristo -- B-
this was my favorite piece of classic literature that was shoved down my throat in high school. didn't come off well here. spent wayyyy too much time in the prison, leaving only about 45 minutes for the meat of the story, the payoff.

Barbershop 2 -- B+
pretty good. liked it more than i remember liking the first one. busted out laughing at the city council meeting when they pass the measure anyway. that's how Chicago works glad to see the Care Bear ending shot down almost immediately.

Catch Me If You Can -- A+
really great! loved it! wasn't expecting to. remember not thinking it looked like much at the time of release. really fun, though

The Day After Tomorrow -- B-
it's okay. not great. could have used more scenes of the storm actually doing stuff. seeing everything freeze really doesn't count. so there were some tornadoes in LA, and a snow-storm..... could have been better.

Dogville -- C-
ugh. what a pompous piece of work. Roger Ebert's review pretty much sums up my thoughts on it. the ending becomes so convoluted that, aside from being a crap ending anyway, it obscures whatever the point is meant to be. it's really too bad, because the story itself was pretty good, up until the reveal. also suffers from the staging gimmick.

De-Lovely -- A+
really magnificent. really.

Far From Heaven -- A+
wow. really excellent. captures the feel of a 50's movie (and the 50's in general) perfectly, and presents the issues involved authentically, in the way that they would have been dealt with in that era. really great film.

The Forgotten -- B
probably too high a mark, but i could watch Julianne Moore read a phonebook with her hair in rollers and still be enthralled. at one point, i said to myself "oh god, if this is a government conspiracy, i'm going to barf." next thing you know, the NSA turns up. then i said to myself "if this is about alien abductions, give me a break." whattayaknow.... still, Moore is engaging, as always.

Hellboy -- B-
eh.... it's okay. could have used better dialogue. the irony in the lines really falls flat. down there with Daredevil (not bad, but not great) for the recent superhero movies.

Kill Bill vol. 1 -- A+
kicks ass! nuff said!

Kill Bill vol. 2 -- A+
ditto! but in a more subtle way. definitely two different-feeling films.

Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring -- B
boy, this one really drags for the first two hours. the one that most obviously could benefit from a shorter cut. for the first two hours, i was thinking "god, i so don't care. they're just babbling about elves and rings, and demons and blah blah blah. who gives a shit. and there's 9 hours of this to slog through? damn." it picked up at the end though.

Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers -- A
much better. probably the best of the 3, as far as developing into something that you're actually interested in.

Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King -- A
the whole series is kind of inconsequential, but it is fun on a very surface level. this one is the best in that regard.

The Man Who Wasn't There -- B
good. but after having wanted to see it for so long, was a bit of a let-down. but still pretty good, despite being a bit aimless.

Manchurian Candidate -- B+
would be higher, but not as good as the original. but that's probably unfair, because that's really stiff competition. liked Denzel in this one, and he's kind of a hit or miss actor for me. Meryl Streep chewing up scenery is a nice treat

Master and Commander -- B+
it wasn't until halfway through the movie that i stopped thinking "so what, who cares?" but it did redeem itself once i got into it.

Mystic River -- A
excellent

Napoleon Dynamite -- A-
funny! could only be made better by having a plot.

Saved -- A-
cute! funny!

Secret Window -- B-
was decent, but i figured it out early, and that's not what gets it low marks. i figured out that that was a lame twist, and was hoping that i was wrong. decent, though.

Shaun Of The Dead -- A-
nice!

Shrek -- B
cute, smart, funny


Shrek 2 -- B+
the same, only more

Stuck On You -- C+
just didn't have the charm it could have to pull it off. oh, could've use more Cher too. but then, everything can


Troy -- C-
a sign of a bad movie is when not only do you want every character in it to die a horrible, excruciating death, but you want to see the actual actor die it on-screen. but then, the source material is weak. a logical plot and rational character motivations aren't usually be to be found in Greek mythology.

Van Helsing -- F
see: Troy, but without the benefit of excusing it for the weaknesses inherent in Greek mythology. absolutely dreadfull. the special effects even sucked! there's actually a pretty decent concept in here, but presenting it as a high octane action adventure really misses the opportunity. would have been much better as a low-key, creepy thriller. and that's the worst fucking Dracula EVER! and Hugh Jackman.... what a contrived character he's playing. it's like Wolverine meets James Bond meets Buffy.

Under The Tuscan Sun -- B+
pleasant, though a bit quaint and sleepy. but that's nice once in awhile. and Diane Lane is always worth watching.

The Village -- D
yuck. the "twist" is bad enough. and wouldn't get the movie above a B. but the fact that it's so fucking boring and nothing actually happens and the characters are as bland as the colors they wear really drags this piece of shit down.
[Edited 3/22/05 2:33am]
[Edited 3/22/05 11:40am]
[Edited 4/14/05 0:03am]

I know we had words, but I really like this post.



Though I see my personal Quixotic vendetta against Kill Bill rages on...

Also, I'm a fan of the Patrick O'Brien novels and I really liked Master and Commander. A+!

2the9s said:

I enjoyed it. But with a lot of these movies, including that one, for some reason I had a "why should I care?" attitude, like I was making the movie work to win me over and draw me in. That one did it finally, but not without sacrificing a few ratings points first

The Day After Tomorrow - A++ -
*Screams* I LOVE YOU JAKE GYLLENHAAL!!!!! *Flashes her boobs to the tv*

Paparazzi - B+ - Rather interesting...I still dont pity celebrities tho.

Cat Woman - A - I love cats...I always thought I was cat woman...this movie just proved me correct. Cant stand sharon stone tho hideous beast that she is.

Tessa said:

my main problem with it is that it was such a cock-tease. literally. so many near-glimpses of Brad Pitt's various nether-regions, all adding up to not a one. very disappointing. F!

GrayKing said:

prolly cuz he was unable to bulk up his tiny weenie like he did his body

A Touch of Pink
Nice story. The Cary Grant character gets on your nerves after a while, but the main characters held the story together well. The woman who played Alim's mother was EXCELLENT. She should be praised for her performance. See it.

Taxi
This movie sucked. I love Queen Latifah and I see she's only in it for the money. I now know that "Beauty Shop" and every other Queen Latifah headlining movie will suck, too, since she's accepting scripts like this. Don't see it.

Dear Frankie
This was a nice movie. The story was heartwarming. I didn't want it to end. See it.

Oceans Twelve 0.5 stars
Total bullshit movie. An all-star cast that merits a low-star ranking. The movie was so bad that I didn't even speak to the person again I saw it with. I gave half a star for the scenery in the film. Don't see it.

Anchorman .5
This movie was crazy. Will Ferrell is so fucking goofy. Stupid funny movie. See it when you want a dumb laugh.

White Chicks .5
HAHA! This movie is crazy. I love Wayansian humor and it delivers. Stupid laughs. See it.

Catwoman
A hot mess. Don't see it.

Stepford Wives
This was a semi-decent movie. Easily forgettable. One of those movies you watch once and you move on with your life. Don't see it.

I think I disagree with you. My rating for the ones I've seen...

Dogville : Just marvellous, A.

Far from heaven : Really nice, B

Lord of the rings : I do see why other people like it, but not my piece of cake : Ok B -

Kill Bill : I only saw the first one, no need to see the second one. That's what I call a pompous piece of work ! C -

Troy : Ugh. Such an uninspiring, Britney-like Helena. This one aspect blew it up for me. Let's keep silence about the rest. C +

MarieLouise said:

I think you got these 2 mixed up

Tessa said:

Agreed. About the worst thing I've ever seen. I found myself begging for it to be over after an hour. It felt like I'd been watching all day.

GangstaFam said:

Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason is somehow worse.

VoicesCarry said:

Well, I wouldn't know. But I'll be sure to stay away from that one. I'm not the biggest fan of Renee Lemonface anyway.

GangstaFam said:

Her face resembles a toad's when she packs on the pounds. The movie is an appalling prospect.

VoicesCarry said:

Fat or thin, her face always looks like she's been sucking on something sour.

I liked Saved too...

Kill Bill Vol. 2 is one of the stupidest, silliest movies I've ever seen. After Vol. 1, I was deeplly disappointed and nearly drowned in depression that week. KB VOl. 2 and the Punisher came out on the same day and I was so excited, but they were both serious letdowns.

Sideways was great, but overrateed. Robots sucked. Saw Yojimbo last night and it isn't as great as Kurasawa's other stuff. Enter the Dragon was cool, but I was bothered that the black guys was so brutally killed off.

But I saw Quills and was very happy.

MarieLouise said:

I'm not even going to try to find the words to describe how angry and upset that movie made me. Breaking the Waves is wonderful, Dancer in the Dark was great, but I feel Dogville was just a small-minded, hateful and tedious film.

Here's what I've watched recently:

Zelig - I wanted to get Crimes and Misdemeanors yesterday, but it was out, so I settled for this one. Not one of Allen's more profound films, but it's amusing and very well done technically. I'll give it a B+.

Quadrophenia - I hadn't seen this for ten years at least - my opinion of it hasn't changed: it's a little too long and a little too incoherent, but it's filled with great moments. B

Saw - a decent if unimaginative b-movie that is undercut by some of the worst scene-chewing acting I've ever witnessed and a dopey non-sequitur ending. C-.

Hewig and the Angry Inch - I've put off watching this movie for years because I have a pretty low tolerance for camp, and this movie seemed to reek of it: however I ended up loving this a lot, and the songs were uniformly excellent. B+

Chinatown - classic - A.
[Edited 3/27/05 18:42pm]

American Splendor -- A-
Harvey Pekar for president!!

Blow -- B
pretty good for what it's about. although it's hard to root for or feel sorry for a drug dealer (and probably the STUPIDEST drug dealer ever, for that matter. yes, i know it's a true story and he did set up a successful enterprise, but christ.... he sure got stupid fast).

Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason -- B-
cute. but not as cute as the first one.

Catwoman -- D
oh my god. strip Halle Berry of her Oscar NOW!!!!! and wtf is up with Sharon Stone. i know she had a stroke, but.... really, she seems "off" here. nice touch with the beauty cream angle.... because her face really does look hard as marble in this movie. painted marble.

Closer -- B-
eh. okay. the sort of movie yuppies go to to try to pretend to identify with, even though their lives resemble the plot in no way. they wish they did. risqueness for yuppies. then again, just the sort of thing yuppies need to see in case they get any stupid ideas.

Donnie Darko -- A
this is the kind of horror/suspsense/thriller i like. very well done. very different

Down With Love -- C
ugh. i remember wanting to see this when it came out, because of the gimmick. but if it wants to be a Rock Hudson/Doris Day tribute/rip-off, then it really ought to stick to the sensibilities of that era. the modern spin (mostly in the dialogue and innuendo) sends it off the tracks. plus, the plot twists about 2 times beyond the point of being convoluted.

Elektra -- C-
yikes while I was glad to see the Hand origin brought to the fore, the rest of the film feels like a screenplay that's been floating around for years for some non-descript martial arts thriller with Elektra later bolted onto it. and i'm sorry, Jennifer Garner is not a good Elektra. she doesn't have the presence for it. in her face, in her body, in her voice, none of it. she was passable in Daredevil because... well, it wasn't her story. she did a serviceable job there. but when the character takes center stage, Garner just ins't capable of pulling it off. extremely disappointing.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind -- B+
nice enough, but nothing amazing. Kate Winslet is delightful

Female Trouble -- B
kind of drags toward the end, with all of that maniacal speechifying, but fabulous

Finding Nevland -- A+
touching.

Full Frontal -- i don't know. turned it off after 15 minutes because i could tell it was going to be a coming-of-age story for a bunch of neurotic celebrities. couldn't care less. lost me completely with the "movie in a movie" gimmick, so i turned it off.

Gangs Of New York -- B+
pretty good. the story itself could use someone to root for, but i guess this is what you get when you're telling the story of dispicable gangsters

The Gift -- A
like Donnie Darko, THIS is the perfect type of horror/suspense/thriller sort of movie. love it. excellently done.

Gothika -- B-
certainly much better than i was expecting, but definitely NOT great. Halle Berry really MUST consider her roles more carefully.

Hannibal -- B+
not as good as Silence of the Lambs or Red Dragon, but it's fun. Julianne Moore should have tried to make the character more her own, rather than trying so hard to fill in for Jodie Foster. the script didn't help, in that department though, basically with everyone referring to some of the ticks inherent in Foster's performance in the first movie.

Hotel Rwanda -- A+
civilization is such a flimsy veil we hide behind, parading around, putting on airs of sophistication, so easily cast aside while our truer nature plays itself out. this is a really powerful, important film. very moving and disturbing. but also uplifting. highly recommended for people who say "well, we didn't go to Rwanda, so why should we help anyone else." because 2 wrongs don't make a right. and also for the people who think that we shouldn't ever intervene, including in Iraq. go see this film and see what happens when there's no one to save the day.

The Hours -- A
lovely. neither pandering or speechifying or moralizing, which really could have dragged it down. and a cast to die for.

In The Bedroom -- A
mmm, really good. Cissy Spacek really ought to do more work. she's wonderful, as always. not sure i totally buy the ending. it's the utter normalcy and realness of the characters and their reactions throughout that raise this up. the ending sort of takes them out of that.

The Incredibles -- A+
incredibly incredible! love every second of it. wonderful!!!

The Last Samurai -- B
decent enough, though nothing all that special. Tom Cruise's range is limited to cocky frat boy and screaming in agony. one of them wouldn't fit, so we're stuck with a few moments of screaming in agony. everything in between is bland.

League Of Extraodinary Gentlemen -- D
oh dear. wow. you know, i weep for Alan Moore. i really do. i weep for him. this is such an utter piece of crap. i don't even know what to say. such possibilities thrown away on a pile of shit like this. you know, From Hell was bad enough... no, actually it was okay. but it certainly wasn't From Hell. i have no idea why they even bothered to call it that. it really doesn't resemble From Hell at all. but. at least it was decent enough in its own right. but this..... this. wow. weep for Alan Moore, as word comes that Watchmen is on the way.

Moonlight Mile -- A-
Jake Gyllenhall is really making a name for himself. hope he sticks with great roles like this and Donnie Darko, and that Day After Tomorrow was just a cash-in paycheck for him.

Monsters Ball -- A-
nice. Billy Bob's much better than Halle in this, but i guess this was her year for an Oscar. well done.

Old School -- C+
somewhat amusing some of the time. but doesn't live up to the "new classic" hype.

Open Water -- C-
i really was looking forward to seeing this around the time it came out, but never did. glad i saved my money. this has got to be the most boring horror movie ever made. the first jolt comes 60 minutes into this 80 minute movie. and then nothing happens. at all. except they die. and i didn't even care whether they did or not. very poor.

Party Monster -- C
rude, vile, obnoxious, shallow people. there's a great story with a great message that could have been told with this movie, but this isn't it. but that's what you get when you let one of the rude, vile, obnoxious, shallow people tell it. oh, and why do these midwestern partyboy NY club queers talk like new england dames with headcolds?

Pink Flamingos -- A+
disgusting. i love it!!

Pirates Of The Carribean -- B
i swear, the whold world lost its damn mind with this one. just because it was better than you thought it would be when you saw the previews doesn't mean it's great. i hear people hyping up this movie all the time. sure, it's fun. but that's it. and just because the Academy wants Johnny Depp to win an Oscar, it doesn't mean every performance is worthy of a nomination. he was vamping through the whole thing.

The Punisher -- B
i was expecting for this to suck. but i actually enjoyed it. i always thought the Punisher sucked, but this is a good example of what's cool about the character. enjoyed it MUCH MORE than i thought i would.

Rodger Dodger -- i don't know... i turned this off. after hearing the main character ramble on for the first 15 minutes or so, i decided that there was nothing that could possibly happen to this guy to make me like him enough to watch the rest of the movie.

Seabiscuit -- A-
a touch sentimental, but who doesn't love a story like this? really great. although the first 40 minutes really need to be cut. there's giving background, and then there's this.

Sideways -- C
i don't get this at all. it's supposed to be a comedy, right? i couldn't tell because i didn't laugh or even chuckle once. really damn boring. this movie is very beige. everything about it. the script, the characters, the acting. they even managed to turn the beauty of California wine country into beige. and all that wine bullshit. i'm sorry, but just because the writer or the director or whoever loves wine doesn't mean there should be a feature film about it. not all hobbies are necessarily meant to translate to film. and these guys were up for Oscars? Pig Vomit was okay, but far from anywhere near his best. and the fact that Lowell from "Wings" got nominated for an Oscar can pretty much tell you what a bore this thing is.

Sin City -- A
ahhh. just when the Elektras and the Catwomen and the Leagues of Extraordinary Gentlemen make you think that Fantastic Four will be the death knell for comic book movies, along comes Sin City. absolutely beautiful. and very cool. visually stunning. plus the plots they chose are great. some of these shots are straight from the panel. love this movie. very very cool and well done.

The Station Agent -- B+
very sweet film. and Peter Dinklage is the sexiest dwarf ever.

Vanilla Sky -- B
hey people, what's the big deal? i've heard that this movie is confusing and hard to figure out. it's really not. it's pretty straightforward, really, after the reveal. i never got Penelope Cruz until i saw this. she's charming and irresistable. Tom Cruise.... well.... he's got two speeds: cocky frat guy and screaming in misery. he gets to play both here. lucky him. but would have been better with someone else. seriously though, after his face got fucked up.... he didn't actually look THAT bad. i mean, really. went a bit overboard didn't he? i've seen people who weren't disfigured that looked worse than his fucked up mug.

Vanity Fair -- B
i can't even think of an adjective for this. that's the sort of impact it had on me. it was there, i know i watched it, and i know i didn't hate it. but that's it. just sort of sits there.

Whale Rider -- A
really excellent. that Cinnamon Girl is very talented. very slow, but rewarding film.
[Edited 4/14/05 1:16am]

Impressed said:[quote]

White Chicks .5
HAHA! This movie is crazy. I love Wayansian humor and it delivers. Stupid laughs. See it.


Surprisenyl high mark considering ur other reviews. Yeah it is stupid fun, yet I would never see it again though. With the makeup on, they looked so dodgy and wrong.

id 4gotten just how funny 'white chicks' was, i think its 1 of those under rated films. i enjoyed 'dodge ball' aswell, ppl said dont c it - but i thought it was funny as mayb u have 2 have a sick sense of humor 2 enjoy this 1.

Polyester -- B+
ah, Waters begins to turn mainstream. a good early effort at making a movie that could actually be viewed in semi-wide release.

Tessa said:

Although it's not actually a horror or thriller movie...




...and very good!




Depp did more than just vamp thru the whole thing...he rescued the entire movie by giving the audience someone and something to keep their interest. He also created one of those cinematic characters that had not come before and most likely will never be duplicated...no small feat.




Watch it again... ...Cambell Scott peels each layer of his character away scene by scene, so that about 20 minutes before the end of the film you see just who this man really is. The ending is a little Hollywood cheese-ish, but overall a great film with some GREAT dialogue...

All I have to say is RAUL BOVA... Under The Tuscan Sky. How beautiful is he!!!!!?

Diane is hot too.

By the way, add "City Of God" to your list...it puts the "+" in "A+"...

Byron said:

is it subtitled? i've stayed away from movies with subtitles because I watched all of these in the last several weeks while I was working, and couldn't devote the extra eye-attention to reading every line. but now that I'm done with that, I'll check it out.

Tessa said:

It is...but you won't care or really even notice...yes, it's that good..lol

Byron said:

I don't mind subtitles at all. But as I said, I haven't been able to devote that much of my attention to what I'm watching to be able to follow along with subtitles. I'll check this one out.