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Sexual Embarrassing Moments!!! Okay Orgers...let 'em roll!!! We all have them...so let's hear them!!!
Those of you that know me have heard this before, but it is the most embarrassing sexual moment I have ever had! I made a booty call back in Pittsburgh, went over there drunk and horny...took the time to light candles, place them nicely, music, drink, showered and everything...told the young lady to bring ice and whip cream and I was gonna tie her up and do my thang to her. Well about ten minutes into the licking...I was just below her breasts...and I PASSED THE FUCK OUT!!! I was out, blowing Cool Whip bubbles on her stomach!!! She was tied completely up...both arms both legs!! So she is squirming and wiggling...yelling my name and I am just sleeping on her stomach.....LOL... I didn't wake up for 20 minutes..and she was PISSED!! The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain.
BOB JOHNSON IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!! | |
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sorry no can do, nothing remotely like that has EVER happened to me but i did just spray diet coke over my dads computer | |
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p0pRocks said: sorry no can do, nothing remotely like that has EVER happened to me but i did just spray diet coke over my dads computer Whap! The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain.
BOB JOHNSON IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!! | |
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basically, everything up until this point.
i'm thinking about taking a sabatical year off from sex completely whilst i'm thinking about that, i've already done about 4 months.. and true love lives on lollipops and crisps | |
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Nothing really, though taking a teddy off is never graceful | |
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p0pRocks said: sorry no can do, nothing remotely like that has EVER happened to me but i did just spray diet coke over my dads computer Are you sure it's just Coke and if so, where did you put the can? | |
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waking up after a wild night to find althom making omelettes in my kitchen and asking me if he can take off the darth vader costume.
don't ask. i don't know. | |
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analbolique said: p0pRocks said: sorry no can do, nothing remotely like that has EVER happened to me but i did just spray diet coke over my dads computer Are you sure it's just Coke and if so, where did you put the can? | |
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p0pRocks said: analbolique said: Are you sure it's just Coke and if so, where did you put the can? It's ok love, I'm sure it will get back to its normal size eventually. | |
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analbolique said: p0pRocks said: It's ok love, I'm sure it will get back to its normal size eventually. | |
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p0pRocks said: analbolique said: It's ok love, I'm sure it will get back to its normal size eventually. If not, there's always the back door. | |
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Anxiety said: waking up after a wild night to find althom making omelettes in my kitchen and asking me if he can take off the darth vader costume.
don't ask. i don't know. Yes, you do. I wish I didn't. The Normal Whores Club | |
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unintentional pussyfarts---
bound to make you insecure...u never exect them. Also-- catching leg cramps are always bad...a sign of aging. Dynamic Savior Said: Also, do you think that ugly people are God's cruel joke on humanity (like the platypus and the heterosexual) or another form of population control? | |
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FunkMistress said: Anxiety said: waking up after a wild night to find althom making omelettes in my kitchen and asking me if he can take off the darth vader costume.
don't ask. i don't know. Yes, you do. I wish I didn't. i swear, i don't know how that darth-vader lookin' rustpot got into my apartment, much less how he got a hold of my spatulas. | |
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Ummmm, well everyone whose been a teen at one point has sexually embarassing moments.
THe worst was like in like grade 10 and the teacher was having us read our assignments or some shit. Anyways, I had a nice big bulge in my pants and conveniently wore sweat pants that day There must have been a nice peice of meat i was staring down or something. Anyways, the teacher calls on me to go, and i was like "i'll go in a bit, just let me fix something on my paper." This was to allow me some time to sink the ship. But the teacher was like "No! Now!" So i was forced to stand there reading my paper with an erection, wearing track pants. My face was red, i could feel my face heating..... That was probably the worst... | |
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I fell asleep one time....
There have been more embarrassing moments for the men that I've been with.... I seem to get the "omg, i'm coming already!" thing.... | |
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Rhondab said: I fell asleep one time....
There have been more embarrassing moments for the men that I've been with.... I seem to get the "omg, i'm coming already!" thing.... That's what you get for having "GoodPussy"....LOL!! The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain.
BOB JOHNSON IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!! | |
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DexMSR said: Okay Orgers...let 'em roll!!! We all have them...so let's hear them!!!
Those of you that know me have heard this before, but it is the most embarrassing sexual moment I have ever had! I made a booty call back in Pittsburgh, went over there drunk and horny...took the time to light candles, place them nicely, music, drink, showered and everything...told the young lady to bring ice and whip cream and I was gonna tie her up and do my thang to her. Well about ten minutes into the licking...I was just below her breasts...and I PASSED THE FUCK OUT!!! I was out, blowing Cool Whip bubbles on her stomach!!! She was tied completely up...both arms both legs!! So she is squirming and wiggling...yelling my name and I am just sleeping on her stomach.....LOL... I didn't wake up for 20 minutes..and she was PISSED!! That's a great story! | |
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DexMSR said: Rhondab said: I fell asleep one time....
There have been more embarrassing moments for the men that I've been with.... I seem to get the "omg, i'm coming already!" thing.... That's what you get for having "GoodPussy"....LOL!! lol@U!! shhhhh... | |
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I'VE POSTED THIS BEFORE.
And I reiterate it's NOT about me, and it's taken from another forum: Just for you guys... ill convert back to the absolute worst time in my life. if i could ever change the events of that day i would.....
It was my sophomore year summer and me and my buddy jake decided we would have a little get together at his house. his parents were leaving for outa town that evening so we were home free. i had gone over to his house earlier that day and just decided to stay there the night. i came over just as his parents were leaving. I walked in the front door and sat on the couch. Now jakes mom is an abosolute milf. this guys mom was everyones dream since about 2nd grade... its one of those situations you know what i mean. huge tits, long burnette hair with a perfect mature body. ooo wow.....anyway i get a quick hard on as they say "bye guys, stay outa trouble" and leave out the front door. Its just me and jake now and jake says, "hey man im gonna go grab some taco bell," at this point im not very hungry and already watching something on tv. i tell him im not and he said he'd be back in awile and leaves. Now its just me there, i turn off the tv and walk to jakes room to play some ps2. as im passing i see his parents door open with some stuff laid on the bed. curiously, i walk in for a moment knowing no one is gonna be home... it was a pair of his moms red panties, like victoria secrets i remember thinking... being the naughty minded teen i was, ofcourse i started sniffing them. just as i did a got another hard on. i couldnt help myself not to just start goin at it right there..... Now comes the horrible conclusion... it wasnt five minutes later when i heard the "ooooo ahhhh?!" all i did was go into a state of shock, i couldnt see anything.... There i was laying on the bed, spread eagle without my pants on, red panties over my head, fiercely beating away. I peak my eye out from under the panties and see jakes mom starring at me with her hand over her mouth. i had no clue what to do, ur mind isnt programmed for this type of situation. There i am still just holding my dick and facing his parents ceiling.. then she left the room, i heard some ruffling out in the kitchen and then the door shut behind her... im still on the bed. it took me awile to realize what happend. she must of come home cuz she forgot something. i put my pants back on, put the panties back on the bed and sat on the couch to think this over. i wasnt so much embarrased as i was horrified. Jake came home and i couldnt say anything... i didnt say anything, never have to this day. i have not gone over to his house or seen his mom since it happend. i havnt told anyone and he still doesnt know so im guessing she didnt say anything. thank god..... Now i look back and just laugh my ass off. it was the worst situation ive ever faced in my life, things like that arnt suppose to happen. hope u enjoyed my humiliation M.2.K
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i actualy fell out of ed once...during...you know....and i banged my forehead on te radiator and passed out for a few seconds and felt sick when i came round...not cool. | |
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ok, i have 2....
first one, i was with Ed we had been in a relationship for quite sometime and our sex life was FANTASTIC he is 6'9, and you KNOW the good lord doesnt put small tools on that sized man plus, he LOVED to eat so, i was in heaven on both counts anyway, this particular trip (he was an owner/operator and drove a truck - used to pick me up on his way up from florida and we'd spend some time together on the ride), we were at the plant, waiting for him to pick up his load. what better thing to do than to have mind blowing sex huh ??? so here i am, all alone, no phone to ring, no kids to think about, noone to come to the door... i felt so free and thought to myself, im going to get all i can out of this situation i put both hands above me on the top of the truck, you know, kinda more of a balance/leverage thing.... and WENT TO TOWN !!!! i fucked that man in ways i never thought i could and was being spurred on by his incredible use of words i wont repeat here anyway, i was in heaven.... until..... there was a knock at the door, it was time for him to load he opened the curtain, and in front of the truck was his brother, and 4 of his friends i didnt stop to think that that big ass truck would 'move' with the motion TALK ABOUT EMBARRASSING !!!!! so, now, i have to figure out how to get myself out of this situation with SOME kind of dignity i decided to go for it, got up, got dressed, and jumped out the passenger door, looked at the men and said, 'DAMN, DOES ANYONE ELSE NEED A CIGARETTE ??? CUZ I DAMN SURE DO !!!' he said, girl, you handled yourself fantastic, both in and out of the truck his brother said, yeah, but if you walked around to the side, you could hear it all too and im NOT a quiet woman in bed that story rates number one on my list for sure !! the next one, i was with my exhusband, in a hotel, not long ago... it was one of those 'come fuck here' places, you know, nothing real nice, you get the point. anyway, he was on top, i was trying to meet his thrusts from the bottom, so i grabbed ahold of the headboard, again using this for leverage. and i'll be damned if i didnt pull the WHOLE damn thing outta the wall !!! hit him in the head - it was NOT pretty and sex while laughing your ass off is not NEARLY as sexy..... One of the best days of my life... http://prince.org/msg/100/291111
love is a gift an artist with no fans is really just a man with a hobby.... | |
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let me set the scene....
17 years old. sleeping over at my boyfriends house. it was cool with his parents as long as he slept on the pull out couch (yeah...right...like he didn't sneak back into his room, where i was sleeping). he had a waterbed. he worked on a farm and would leave at 5am. i was naked. he left for work and somehow i got all contorted, my arm slipped beneath the waterbed bladder and i got stuck. after struggling for about 20 minutes and just furthering my plight his father came downstairs to wake me up. didn't know what to do so i pretended to be asleep thinking he would just go away...but NNNOOOOO...he had to knock and then come in the room to make sure i was awake. he found me crying, naked and trapped half under his 17 year old sons waterbed. He called for his wife and they helped me get out. need i say it again...i was 17...naked...having sex with their only son...and stuck in his bed. i was mortified. you're only as old as you feel..............so how old do i feel
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. | |
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DexMSR said: Okay Orgers...let 'em roll!!! We all have them...so let's hear them!!!
Those of you that know me have heard this before, but it is the most embarrassing sexual moment I have ever had! I made a booty call back in Pittsburgh, went over there drunk and horny...took the time to light candles, place them nicely, music, drink, showered and everything...told the young lady to bring ice and whip cream and I was gonna tie her up and do my thang to her. Well about ten minutes into the licking...I was just below her breasts...and I PASSED THE FUCK OUT!!! I was out, blowing Cool Whip bubbles on her stomach!!! She was tied completely up...both arms both legs!! So she is squirming and wiggling...yelling my name and I am just sleeping on her stomach.....LOL... I didn't wake up for 20 minutes..and she was PISSED!! poor girl, here shes thinking.... im gonna get me some dexy tonight all ready to go, and you passed out ???? actually dex, that may be one of her more embarrassing moments, not yours but still, poor girl One of the best days of my life... http://prince.org/msg/100/291111
love is a gift an artist with no fans is really just a man with a hobby.... | |
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DexMSR said: Okay Orgers...let 'em roll!!! We all have them...so let's hear them!!!
Those of you that know me have heard this before, but it is the most embarrassing sexual moment I have ever had! I made a booty call back in Pittsburgh, went over there drunk and horny...took the time to light candles, place them nicely, music, drink, showered and everything...told the young lady to bring ice and whip cream and I was gonna tie her up and do my thang to her. Well about ten minutes into the licking...I was just below her breasts...and I PASSED THE FUCK OUT!!! I was out, blowing Cool Whip bubbles on her stomach!!! She was tied completely up...both arms both legs!! So she is squirming and wiggling...yelling my name and I am just sleeping on her stomach.....LOL... I didn't wake up for 20 minutes..and she was PISSED!! but more important, ladies, did you read that ?? candles, music, drinks... ice cream and whipped cream TIED UP BOTH HER LEGS AND BOTH HER ARMS ????? you sound like a WILD MAN in bed dex i need to excuse myself for a moment.... need to 'take care of something' One of the best days of my life... http://prince.org/msg/100/291111
love is a gift an artist with no fans is really just a man with a hobby.... | |
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Rhondab said: I fell asleep one time....
There have been more embarrassing moments for the men that I've been with.... I seem to get the "omg, i'm coming already!" thing.... that shit pisses me off! it makes me want to kick they ass outta the bed embarrassing moment? lets just say i was done with him for the rest of the night. | |
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the only other one i can think of is the tiem i picked up at a bar. i was 20 and it was this guy i had been eyeing for awhile. he invited me and 2 of my friends to go back to his place after the bar closed, his roommate and a couple other friends were going to be there as well. so we went...we drank some more, listened to some music and the next thing i know the two of us were in his room gettin' it on. we freaked for a few hours...i was praisin' God, moanin' and yellin'...i tend to get into it and have a hard time keepin' quiet. i like to show my appreciation for the great ride..ya know?
anyway...the next morning i wake up cand the bed (which was just a mattress and a frame) was about 3ft away from the wall. i put my bar clothes back on and head off to the bathroom to freshen up a bit before catching a cab home. i step out of his room and theres my 2 friends, his 4 friends and his roommate watching tv on the 2 pull out couches.... i got a standing ovation. i was embarressed yet proud at the same time. guess i need to learn to tone it down when i know there are others in the place!!! you're only as old as you feel..............so how old do i feel
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. | |
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cinnamonjo said: unintentional pussyfarts---
bound to make you insecure...u never exect them. The more u shout the better it is Is there any place of refuge one can flee from this insanity | |
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MarySharon said: cinnamonjo said: unintentional pussyfarts---
bound to make you insecure...u never exect them. The more u shout the better it is | |
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MarySharon said: cinnamonjo said: unintentional pussyfarts---
bound to make you insecure...u never exect them. The more u shout the better it is Dont make me blush---- again. Dynamic Savior Said: Also, do you think that ugly people are God's cruel joke on humanity (like the platypus and the heterosexual) or another form of population control? | |
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