Couldn't a man just show his love another way?

Why the blanket statement? Not all women do.

I don't see marriage as a way as showing love

Nothinbutjoy said:

then what do you see it as?

p0pRocks said:

If you've been with some for like 5 yrs and they haven't even brought up the thought of Marriage...

What would you think?

huh?

You'd probably say...I need a ring.

I see it as not easy, but worth the effort.

Nothinbutjoy said:

What's worth the effort?

Solaris said:

I was with someone for 5 years and un married and when we did get married it wasn't my choice it was the "right" thing to do for all involved aparently

i got married to please other people and it turned out to ruin everything for me

p0pRocks said:

p0pRocks said:

At least someone is being honest.

I dunno, but it's a form of commitment and don't we all like to pretend we have some kind of guarantee our significant other will stay with us forever?

The thing I don't really understand is why someone would want to get married to a person who has been married before. How credible does that make the "til death do us part" part of the wedding vows? (Unless you decide to get rid of that part of course, but that sure as hell would be a hint you might not wanna get married. lol) That's one of the reasons I don't think I could ever get married again. The other part is that I'm not very compatible with women, so I doubt anyone would ever want me to anyway. I'm too much a pain in the ass as a friend, let alone bf or God forbid, a husband.

For many it’s a validation of self and validation of their role in society. God forbid if a woman should have sex and children with a man and not expect marriage.

Solaris said:

when did a ring equate a marriage men never opt out of buyin a lil bling to satiate ...it's the paper they're afraid of

i never thought of it as showing love, i've been with the same man for 10 years and we are not married. ive come to the conclusion that its not necessary

toffee said:

There you are...

heybaby said:

You can't tell too many people that..

Solaris said:

here me ilz

toffee said:

You know I'm missing ya....

Solaris said:

What do you want? What does she want? 5 years is a long time...not too long, but long enough to know if this is the person you want to be with...regardless of marriage. I mean if after 5 years, you are still in "dating mode" in your head...yet she's not. That says a lot.

Most people are out there looking for a long term partner. Even though this is a society effort pushed upon us at an early age...it also happens to be an inherent human need to.

If she is looking for a husband and you are not looking to be that, you need to talk to her and discuss what you each want. SHe is probably expecting some sort of commitmnet by now. Maybe you are starting to not buy into the "traditional marriage" thing and that's OK. But you both need to discuss the terms of your relationship. Sounds as if you are now at crossroads (5 years is a good crossroad, cuz you know this person...and should know how to handle them)

I am at the 5yr mark. I call it the bored mark. Or the "sameness" mark. Doesn't mean I'm gonna leave my hubby. What for? Cuz I'm bored? That would be a copout and not fair to either of us. All that would do is make us both alone. Most couple have trouble with this realization and freek out. I say if you can get through the slow times all is good.

Solaris said:

Loving someone through good times and bad is worth the effort. (I am not talking about a marriage where there is abuse.)

"Happily married" is a misnomer. It implies that unless you are happy all the time in your marriage, your marriage is a prison. That is not true. Who in life is ALWAYS happy?

If marriage works for you fine. If it doesn't fine. It is not something to be entered in lightly, nor is it for everyone. Unfortunately, I think many people don't have a clue as to how to find a person they can spend the rest of their life with. Great sex is nice, but it won't ensure a successful marriage. Meeting parental/societal expectations is nice, but it won't ensure a successful marriage.

In the end it is your life. If you do what other expect is it really their fault? Make your choices and take responsibility for them.