How do you make these people go away? Maybe the women on here can give me a clue as to what to do.

There's this crazy (and I'm not using that term lightly) lady that works at our office who stands outside my office door all goddamn day swooning for attention. She acts obnoxiously provocative, talks at the top of her lungs with this screechy whiny "little girl" voice (shes actually 40), and will not go away.

Anyone confront someone like this?

Tom said:

Her name is not Deanna is it?

The best way to handle this is probably also the hardest to do.

You should confront her and tell her how you feel about her behavior and why it effects you.

we have someone like this where i work.

a secretary who, whenever i pass her desk, has to put on some little show so i'll stop and take notice and comment. "what's so funny?" "why are you cursing?" "why the amazingly loud sigh?" that kind of stuff.

and when she comes to my desk for help, it's like being attacked by a pack of whirling dervishes.

my only solution, at least in my situation, is just not to engage in it. keep your cool, don't 'respond' to her fishing around for attention. eventually she'll realize you're not taking her bait, and she'll knock it off, at least around you. that's what happened with my attention whore. she doesn't put on her little shows (as much) when i walk by anymore, and when she comes to me for help, she acts a little bit more like a human being and less like clarabelle the clown.

and what's the deal with these grown-ass middle aged women acting like damn 7-year-olds just because they work in an office and think they can get away with it?!?

Anxiety said:

This has been going on for over a year now. In fact, Im out to everyone here at the office, so its like she knows I'm gay and still won't give it a rest. I feel like if I am upfront and rude about it and tell her to quit standing outside my door whoring it up all day, she's gonna turn around and deny it and act like I'm just being full of myself.

It's made me rethink about what I've done at times when I've had crushes on straight coworkers, and joked around with them about it. That stuff can really make someone uncomfortable.

I think I'm gonna have a long talk with my boss...

Tom said:

Give her a wedgie
[Edited 4/14/05 14:23pm]

Get her on to the Org. She'll be right at home here!

What I'd do is sneak out at your lunch break and go to the market and buy the biggest whole fish that you can find.

When she strats acting up just take the fish and sneak up behind her and

bkw said:

I'm imagining someone actually doing that! It was always just an emoticon to me until now!



The Irish call the sort of behavior you're talking about "making a show of yourself". I think Americans are the worst offenders, culturally, because we just consider it "healthy self-esteem" or "liking" oneself. And in the U.S., if someone is critical about this shit, they are often accused of being "jealous".

I'd say ignore it if you can. If you're driven to distraction and you really just don't feel like you can speak to her calmly and civilly, then talk to your supervisor, who can perhaps approach her in a way that takes more of the you're-an-office-distraction-or-productivity-detractor approach.

Good luck!

Best ting to do is deprive them of the attention.

ugh, tell me about it.

EvilWhiteMale said:

Yep. Any other type of attention, negative or positive, they just love to get.

analbolique said:

co-co-sign. it's why they do it.

analbolique said:

AsianBomb777 said:

were your ears burning?

I am dealing with a VERY similar situation where I do my clinicals except my attention whore uses the attention to get people to feel sorry for her and either do her work or offer her more work "because she's a struggling single mom."

Now before I get slaughtered. Yes she is a single mom and yes being a single mom is tough as hell, but her ex is very involved with the kids. He pays his child support on time and has them 3-4 days a week. She gets so "bored" that she spends time at the hospital with a coworker that is her best buddy when this coworker works nights (they are both straight and female.)

Anyways, many of us got tired of picking up her slack during her "oh pity me" performances where she'd disappear from her job for hours at a time to talk to the ones that feed her need for attention.

Nothinbutjoy said:

i know people like that, i'm a mother and i understand exactly what your talking about. if she gets help its just an excuse to slack off

EvilWhiteMale said:

yeah that's what i do with you! usually...

Anxiety said:

This one time....at band camp....

AsianBomb777 said:

did someone say BANNED!!! camp???

Anxiety said:

Why did U leave myspace.

AsianBomb777 said:

he left myspace?

heybaby said:

AsianBomb777 said:

mrdespues said:

"usually"

We don't have attention whorez at my work- we're salez assistantz- we COMMAND attentionz but oh-so-smoothly ofcourse

EvilWhiteMale said:

hahaha. at least you don't deny your attention-whoredom.

mrdespues said:

I don't request it. It's given no matter what.