same site, about the French



French Men
A woman once told us that French men are so "well-adjusted" because they're not victims of their mothers. They're not spoiled like American boys so they have a chance to develop a sensitive side. We'd like to know what sensitive side this woman was talking about. Did she mean the side where he chain smokes, blows it in your face, tells you that you're too fat/skinny and that he doesn't like your hair? Maybe she meant the side that almost hit you with his car as you crossed the street, in the pedestrian zone, with the "cross now" light flashing. That's all the sensitivity we've seen in Frenchmen.

Potential Boyfriend Names
Name Pronunciation
Antoin - anne-tw-ON
Claude - Cloud
François - Fran-SWA
Guilliom - GEE-yum
Henri - ON-ree
Jean - jz-ON
Jean-Jacques - jz-ON JZACK
Jean-Luc - jz-ON LOU-ck
Jean-Pierre - jz-ON pee-AIR
Laurent - Luh-RAUNT
Luc - LOU-ck
Marcel - Mar-SELL
Michel - Mee-SH-ell
Philippe - fill-EEP
Rene - ren-AY

Four Insights into French Culture
French Dogs
Visualize a French dog. Are you thinking of a snobby little poodle with ribbons in her hair prancing like she's God's gift to the animal kingdom? You've got it, but don't discount big, fuzzy, sloppy dogs: sometimes they're French as well. The only common denominator with French dogs is their owners' adversity to cleaning up after them. The French found it easier to create a superstition about stepping in shit being good luck rather than picking it up. Don't be surprised if you find some good luck in a boutique, restaurant or even a nightclub. They take their damn dogs everywhere.

French Driving
French drivers fall somewhere between the erratic Italians and the obedient Germans. What sets them apart are their attitudes. Make a small mistake and a chauvinistic male pig driver will honk, yell and flail his arms at you. A few miles down the road, however, he'll forget you crossed him because he'll be busy cursing out someone else. Piss off a woman driver and she won't outwardly misbehave. Instead, she'll follow you forty miles and run you off a cliff.

French Time Telling Abilities
Is this the place where we're supposed to toss in some predictable joke about the French never winning a war?

French Theft
French people aren't known for theft, but we've known a few victims. A friend of ours had her wallet, passport and camera stolen from the purse on her shoulder while she walked down the street. Though not a leader in theft, the French have their fair share of crafty thieves. They've also got masses of illegal street vendors who scatter like mad when the police cruise by.

Useful French Phrases
What You'll Want To Say: How To Say It:
Chauvinist is a French word, right? = show-van-EEST ett oon moe frawn-SAY, no?
Does your mom hate me or does she glare at everyone that way? = esque-KUH son mare ett oon bet new-ARE?
If feminist means I refuse to clean your apartment, then I suppose I am one. = beh-SAY twa.
I'm from the English-speaking part of Canada. = jay nay swee pa A-mare-ican.
Let's order another bottle. = DUH-OWN-ay muh-wa vin.
This food sucks, where's McDonald's? = Jem la quiw-SEEN frawn-SAYS.
Your language is ugly. = beh-SAY twa.


How to Meet Him
We're not sure where you'll find a good Frenchman, but we can tell you where not to look. No self-respecting Frenchman would be caught dead at an American establishment like EuroDisney or McDonald's. When EuroDisney opened, they enforced a no alcohol policy that didn't go over well with the French. Citizens boycotted the theme park even after they allowed alcohol. Then there's McDonald's - the French farmers protest because their work is becoming obsolete and the French citizens protest because le Big Mac tastes like vomit. It makes sense that a Frenchman wouldn't hang out on an American establishment; they're trying to get English words like "email" out of their language and trying to get American corporations like Wal-Mart off their property.

Tips for the Date
Though famed for elegant perfumes, the French love to stink. You know the thing in the bathroom that looks like a miniature urinal? It's actually a sink to wash your genitals. You'll never see them in America because we believe personal hygiene should be taken care of in the shower once a day, not in the bidet once a week. It's important to note these cultural differences because you'll want to avoid showering for at least 72 hours prior to a date with a French man. If you smell like roses, deodorant or their infamous perfume, you'll lose points for being "unnatural."

What You Should Know about France
You won't be expected to know a damn thing about France because you won't be expected to participate in a conversation. A Frenchman will take you to a French restaurant with French cuisine and talk about French culture and French life. He'll have an opinion on everything and direct the conversation in the way of art, politics and history to demonstrate how cultured he is. All this blather and he'll expect no contributions from you. If you stand up for yourself, your country or your gender, he'll brand you a crazy American feminist. If you smile a lot, he'll think you're an airhead. Just keep your lips pursed and give an occasional nod.

What You Need To Know About French Cities
Bordeaux Best of the seven wine regions in France.
Calais Go here to book it to England via the ferry.
Corsica Island near Italy, birthplace of Napoleon Bonaparte.
Dijon Mustard - duh.
Lourdes The Virgin Mary is said to have made a few visits.
Monaco The original Monte Carlo: come dressed well, bring lots of money, lose it all.
Nice Many international trains end here.
Normandy Watch Saving Private Ryan to understand.

Paris Worst place in the entire country.
Sangatte Connects to England via the Chunnel tunnel - 23 miles of tunnel are underwater.

Impressing His Mother
Sorry girls, but you'll never impress his mother. She's French and you're not. You're dating her son and she's not. That's two strikes already. If your French boy fails to make a proper introduction between the two of you, you're in big trouble. Under no circumstances are you allowed to introduce yourself. You'll have to spend the entire evening assuming the role of a fly on the wall.

French Girl Competition
French girls are nasty. It's not that they're mean people (maybe they are) who are trying to be rude (maybe they are), their social structures are just different. While American girls aspire to be well-liked and have bunches of friends, being popular is the last thing a French girl wants. The French believe mass social acceptance signifies a weak character. If everyone likes a girl she must be fake and uncomplicated. To preserve her reputation, a French girl is not going to be warm and welcoming. In fact, she'll be as bitchy as she can to insure your animosity.

When You Want Him to Go Away
Fortunately a Frenchman understands the word "no." He may follow you around the city for days, but when you finally get up the nerve to tell the pretentious, chauvinistic prick to kiss your derriere, he'll take the hint. If you're in a good mood, you don't even have to resort to rudeness. You can give him two or three or four (depending on the region) kisses on the cheek and say "Au revoir."



comments?

strangely/interestingly enough, I got an "annonymous" org.note from someone saying that this woman's description of French men is basically true..

hm..

Next up how about




The site got any views about earth girls being easy?

Um, I've lived in France for 9 years - married to a "Fran-SWA," and must say that this article is about 30% correct, in my experience.

I'll let you all guess which parts.

FamousBluRaincoat said:

no no NO
you've got to SPILL THE BEANS

I could maybe guess half of the "30%" you think is true,
but go ahead & enlighten us!

again, as this was written by an American girl who was in France for the 1st time (I think).. it's easy to see how she could have such an, um.. "slanted" view of France. I would say maybe 25% of this description is accurate..

mltijchr said:

Oookay then.

First of all, my mother-in-law likes me much better than any of her French sons & daughters-in-law. We get along great... They're looking for a house closer to where we live, to help babysit my child and any others to come... and I suppose we'll be looking after them in their old age.

That's a big thing.

Another something major... I don't know any French people who don't bathe or shower regularly. Or if they don't, people complain about them exactly as an American would about a fellow American who did the same. And bidets are completely out of style; I don't think I know anyone w/ a recent house or apt who has one.

My best friend is a French "girl," (more like a woman); she is nothing like that description. I worked in a lycée for a few years, and didn't see the described attitude among the girls there at all, or my co-workers.

Let's see, what else... might be easier to say what's actually true here?

That people make fun of Parisians, especially here in the South.."Parisien, tete de chien," and all.

What else?? Maybe let's say it's about 10% true...

ah, some cool - & interesting thoughts, FamousBlu.


same here - all the French I know DO bathe regularly. actually, it's rather DUMB that I have to actually say it, as if the French really don't bathe..
I do think, however, that there is "something" in the deodorant that's available in France..
when I lived in Toulouse, I tried several types of "men's deodorant" but none of them really worked for me. once the deodorant "turned", I was FUNKY! on some days, I would take 2 or 3 showers! what I started doing was.. buying "women's deodorant" & using that - this is something I would NOT do in the US!

I still see quite a few bidets.. but like you said they are less common in homes/appartments built in the last 15-20 years.


I am still fascinated how the French (& apparently the Italians too) refer to themselves as "girls" & "boys".. even into their FORTIES.. simply (mainly?) because they have never had a child! I'm sure you've seen it too, like in personal ads:

"French boy, 34, looking for.."
or
"French girl, 42, wants to meet.."


yeah, reading that description on that website, I definitely got the impression that maybe that American "girl" who wrote it, maybe she just wanted to take a shot at each of the cultures she visited. indeed, it's MUCH EASIER to dismiss or make fun of something you don't understand, something you don't understand because you have no "cultural reference" to understand the basis of that culture..

what part of southern France are you & your family in, si je peux poser cette question??


I just got back from France - Toulouse, Cannes & Paris - on Monday
&
I am REALLY missing it already! I was missing France 2 weeks before I left!

I think this funny thing about french people and baths comes from ten eighth century. And earlier too of course...A that time, people were accustomed to washing only with perfume and thus hid their odors and also their filth...

I only wonder why French of that era "washed" themselves with cologne/perfume..
I'm sure water was available for bathing then..


before I moved to France
(& as an American)
I was plutôt sensible to people's body odors.. but I "learned" that there is a difference between "natural body odor" & "smelling bad"
&
I now "adjust myself accordingly" depending on which side of the Atlantic I am on.

mltijchr said:

I'm in the Midi, Montpellier...

Yeah, I have noticed the "boys and girls" thing. It cracked me up quite a bit at first.

Travel is good for people - living in another country, even better. In the process of learning about other people, you learn so much about yourself.

mltijchr said:

A funny thing, regarding natural body odors... America seems kind of sterile to me now by comparison. Especially in extreme seasons - all that air conditioning & dry heat. Here it seems we live in the seasons more. We didn't even have an air conditioned car until a couple of years ago!

I've met 2 cool people from Montpellier, & others have told me it's a nice town..
I've passed it several times going to/from Toulouse to Marseille or Nice,
1 of these days I will have to get off the train when it stops in Montpellier.


then, your comment

FamousBluRaincoat said:

is ABSOLUTELY true.
I LIVE to travel, even if the jetlag wears me out every time.