A man walked on holding a child and sat down. A few seconds later a woman got on and the two began arguing. The woman was trying to grab the child and the man was preventing her from having him. I couldn't discern from the conversation who the child should rightfully be with (I'm assuming the mother) but the woman repeatedly kept trying to get the kid and the man kept preventing her from doing so. She was saying "Give me my son. Give me my child!" and the guy kept saying "you're going to a funeral".

The woman eventually told the bus driver to call the cops. The arguing got worse and so did the struggle for the child. The kid was a boy, probably around 5 years old. They were literally playing tug of war with that kid. She would grab him from the seat, the man would rip the kid from her hands and put him back down. They ended up getting physical with each other, pushing and shoving and the struggle for the kid just got worse and worse. They were pulling at his clothes and tugging his little arms. They ended up ripping his jacket in half and I thought they were going to break his arms they were tugging so hard.

From what I can kinda figure out, it seemed that the woman dropped the man off at the bus stop, because he kept saying something about a car and there was a car parked in front of the bus. I'm thinking that when she dropped him off, he just grabbed the kid from the car. Anway, the man got off the bus and the woman followed after him. The man still would not give her back her child and she ended up walking back to the car screaming "you're going to jail bitch".

This made me so incredibly sad and depressed. That poor kid Nobody, including myself, intervened. I mean what could you do? They couldn't grab the kid from each other, there was no way anybody else was going to be able to step in the middle. This raised sooooo many issues in my head. It is sick when people use their kids as weapons against each other. Women keeping the father from the kid, men threatening harm to the children to get his way with the mother. There are all kinds of scenarios where people use their kids as pawns in their sick twisted games. Who suffers the most. The children.

If you are one of those people who use your kids for less than honorable intentions, think about what you are doing to them. You are ruining them. Be careful who you have kids with. So many people get married to "do the right thing" and you have to ask yourself if giving your child "a name" is the right thing. Just because a one night stand or casual sex can result in pregancy does not mean you are destined to be married to the mother or the father. Just because the body can do what it does naturally does not make it the right thing. God, I wanted to cry seeing that scene played out. If they were willing to act like that in public, I can only imagine what happens in the privacy of their home. god help that kid

so hard to keep kids out of domestic things



hope they are all ok

I hate seeing people do things like this to children, its really sad.

that's horrible...

I feel for that poor child. I think it is horrible that adults behave in a manner to basically "get back" at the other parent or ex spouse and do so in front of a child or use the child to hurt the other parent.

My husband and I had to go to a class on this before our divorce will be final and while the class itself was a waste of time and the county's money, if they spent time with structuring it, it would have been very helpful to parents. The only good thing they showed is a video where children spoke of what divorce is doing to them and the majority of the children, in the video, talked how their parents act like children and use them to hurt the other parent. It ends up just hurting the children.

Legacy of Divorce also touches on this and how children of divorced or separated parents, who where never married, mature differently than those children who grew up with both parents in the home and how it affects their relationships later on in life.

AzureStarr said:

Never underestimate children. They see and hear everything and almost always understand and know what is going on, even when the parent doesn't think so.

I think it's much healthier for a child to be raised in a stable environment, and I do believe that includes a single parent household. We all know that 2 parents is the best model, but if 2 people marry to "do the right thing", if they are getting married and they don't really even know each other, that does not guarantee people's happiness. And kids know when their parents are just going through the motions and when they really mean it. It's hard being a product of a broken home, I know. But I can imagine it's just as hard to be a product of a home with two parents that aren't happy.

man thats sad. why do people always have the involve the kids. i hate that type of shit. i probably would've called the police if i was the bus driver or a passenger for that matter. but i know alot of people don't know the story and don't want to get involved.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Exactly! Which is why adults should behave like adults in front of their children and not allow their anger towards one another, or their pain, become over dramatized in front of their children. Children are going to sense it, of course, but it doesn't need to explode in front of them.

brownsugar said:

It's kinda hard to know how to handle those kinds of situations as a bystander. Things were so ramped up between the two, that it was practically guaranteed that anyone getting in the middle would have been a physical target. What if the man had a gun? You just don't know these things. The copse were called and hopefully they got there in time to intervene. The bus left right after the couple got off....

i hope the police came in time and settled things.

AzureStarr said:

It's so sad because I have seen this happen with my nephews so many times over the years and you can just see the hurt and sadness in their eyes, even when they are silent through the whole thing. I hate my brother in law for making that their reality in life. I just try to be as positive and as happy an influence in their lives as I can.

brownsugar said:

Me too. I was literally sick to my stomach witnessing the whole thing. My stomach was in knots.

I feel for the kid, it happened to me also when i was abt 6 yrs
And it's impossible for a kid to choose between parents

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

AzureStarr said:

co

was the child just horrified ????? i mean, dear god, what a horrible experience for that baby

i understand what you are saying when you say noone wanted to get in the middle of that, and thats probably the smartest thing of all, but, me being me, i woulda had to get someone to help grab those stupid parents, someone else get the baby, and someone else use their cell phone to get the cops there.... sounds like they both need a time out away from the baby, and perhaps the baby could use a break from both of them

im sorry you had such a horrible experience today sweetie

nakedpianoplayer said:

Don't feel sorry for me, pray for that kid

Interestingly, the child didn't really say a word or even cry. I'm suspecting he's been through this chit before

.
[Edited 4/8/05 11:42am]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

yeah....mommy and daddy are just fighting ....AGAIN.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I feel sick to my stomach just reading your experience. Praying for the child is a given.

And how frustrating was it to watch and not be able to do anything!!!

for the child.

for you.

Have you ever thought of running for office, Supa?

So many frickin' cell phones, and nobody calls the police.

sag10 said:

thats what i was thinkin

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

VERY true & VERY fucking sad

People really don't put enough thought into raising kids & forming little minds. It's odd - the separation some people have between living their own life & the things they put their kids through, how it effects them. It's horrible

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

You're a good uncle, Supa

sag10 said:

I didn't have a cell phone or I would have immediately called. I only saw one person on a phone during this and I'm not even sure if she was calling the police

If the man had started hitting the woman I would have had to drum up some courage to at least tell him to stop. I mean I'm not the biggest guy and if faced with a physical showdown I would have gotten whooped. You'd hope that other men on the bus would have gotten involved but I don't know....

CalhounSq said:

And this goes to the whole argument about abortion and birth control. Some people simply should not be parents and making abortion illegal will only create more of these kinds of situations. If you force people into a corner, they tend to act like animals and even though abortion is sad, this is even worse. Oh wait, that kid is breathing. That's what the pro-birth movement says, so I guess there are no worries....

DiminutiveRocker said:

I try. I really do. Sometimes it's really really hard because they have behavioral problems, and can you really blame them? When they are acting out and out of control to the point that I want to slam them to the ground, I have to remind myself to gain control and understand why they are acting the way they are. It's so hard to be a positive reinforcement when their dad just comes along and tears down all your hard work. It's intensely frustrating and sad. It's why I always try and lighten my sister's load by helping her when and where I can. Those kids shouldn't have to suffer from the sins of their parent....

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I know the feeling. My brother (who is my polar opposite in most respects) divorced his first wife and they put my nephews through a lot of crap. I also tried to be there for them whenever possible because I could tell they were taking it all in. They've had a lot to deal with over the years (their mother died of breast cancer a few years ago) but I think that they will grow to see through all the crap one day - I can only hope - and they know they have me and other family members to lean on if they need us.

DiminutiveRocker said:

Hope. It's what I have as well. It all can't just be for naught....